Re-Introduction

Hello everyone,

I want to re-introduce myself. I joined this board about 3 years ago after believing I had hit rock bottom with excessive porn use and masturbation with a particular fetish. As a married man with a beautiful wife, I have caused significant distress for my wife and I am sure I have limited my abilities in life through this addiction. After going 90 days no PMO 3 years ago, I wrote some stupid things thinking I was cured myself after 20 years of porn use. As I am sure you can imagine, I relapsed and did serious damage to my body and mind since then. My PIED is even worse now and through edging I think I have screwed up my prostate.

Well, today I am about 120 days no PMO but more importantly have come to the conclusion that I can never look at porn again in my life. I am 50 years old and probably have had a masturbation problem my whole life that hit warp speed with internet porn. I also found a counselor who understands this life and promotes this community as a useful part of the recovery process. I can’t tell a lie now, I have significant urges to look again but just try to change direction and do something in the moment that gets me through the urge.

I am here to add another component to my recovery process. I don’t know if I will ever be able to have a normal sexual relationship with my wife after having done this for so long and the damage I have done to my body and mind. But I have to give it the best shot I can as I know that if I don’t I will likely get divorced, never have a normal healthy relationship and likely have a lonely life in the future.

It would be helpful if folks could point me to a forum for people my age and situation. I do remember 3 years ago seeing age groups but don’t see them today. Or any other useful threads or insights. Thanks for listening and be well.