Reboot for the umpteenth time, I think I'm dying

I‘m under too much pressure for the final exam,but I can't study for 8 or 9 hours a day without feeling bored and desperate, thus I just cannot stop PMO even if I know I don't want it, I have been chained by excessive masturbation(3 or 4 times a week) for the past 5 years and now I'm a weak, gross, sullen and slow guy struggling painfully for my gloomy future in my university.I just wanna be confident and clever again...I will be cranky if I keep away from porn more than 3 days, I'm very sure that I'm immensely addicted to it. Life is too hard for me though I'm only 18. I'm not so good at English but I will try to post my journal on this website everyday to get motivated by all my bros here from now on.

 

O the longest streak? I think it's 8.5 days when I was in senior high school 2 years ago...I know it as well that by no means do I need porn but I feel nervous and cannot commit myself to almost anything after rebooting for 4-5 days, there's a voice in my brain threatening me that if I do not PMO I would feel worse, I can barely resist to look for porn when this feeling(they call it withdrawal/abstinence syndrome medically）comes. I've already studied the neurology reason of this syndrome, but you know, nothing would happen even if I became a neurologist.

 

What's worse I'm used to cumming on my underpants so I smell stenchy

 

Ok the second day, I just took a programming test and everything goes well except I still have cold feet and don't take any exercise today,maybe I should regulate my running plan as soon as possible though it's very sultry recently (I once was an avid fans of slow running, I participated amateur games but now I just run at intervals because of my deteriorative health). Hopefully I can stick up to my rebooting until I go back home on July 23th --at least I want my parents feel that their son is exuberant like any other dude.