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Rebooting while having an active sexlife?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Syncedandcorrected, May 7, 2018.

  1. May 7, 2018 #1
    Syncedandcorrected

    Syncedandcorrected Fapstronaut

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    It’s been about 5 weeks now since I last looked at porn and from the point where I fully realized that I have a problem.

    I am commited to kicking my pmo addiction but I have doubts about the process since I am still having an active sexlife with my wife. I feel that my resolve has not been tested enough because of this which makes it harder for me to analyze my addiction and how deep it goes. Can my process be considered fully rebooting in light of this?
     
    Syncedandcorrected, May 7, 2018
    Syncedandcorrected, May 7, 2018
    #1
    Nugget9 likes this.
  2. May 7, 2018 #2
    Krille

    Krille New Fapstronaut

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    I'm wondering the same thing.
     
    Krille, May 7, 2018
    Krille, May 7, 2018
    #2
    Syncedandcorrected likes this.
  3. May 7, 2018 #3
    Roader to Freedom

    Roader to Freedom Fapstronaut

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    I believe, it slows down the process, but only that. I have the same situation, but I made a decision to let my wife ALWAYS decide when she wants to have sex. That way I sometimes have to live through strong urges, but I also start feeling that our sexual life gets "naturally two-sided" (it's hard to name it properly).
    I hope that someone more experienced can tell us more in this matter.
     
    Roader to Freedom, May 7, 2018
    Roader to Freedom, May 7, 2018
    #3
    Nugget9 and Syncedandcorrected like this.
  4. May 7, 2018 #4
    Syncedandcorrected

    Syncedandcorrected Fapstronaut

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    That seems like a good way to look at it. Would also like to hear more perspectives on this.

    I am tempted to go 90 days without orgasm just to really give my brain-chemistry a chance to change. I don’t want to deny my wife her needs though, especially now when she has a lot of insecurities due to my secret pmo behaviour.
     
    Syncedandcorrected, May 7, 2018
    Syncedandcorrected, May 7, 2018
    #4
  5. May 7, 2018 #5
    jorg78

    jorg78 Fapstronaut

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    I have a active sexlife, it's fine but it will slow down the process a bit (Take longer to reboot)
     
    jorg78, May 7, 2018
    jorg78, May 7, 2018
    #5
    Syncedandcorrected likes this.
  6. May 7, 2018 #6
    Reverent

    Reverent Fapstronaut

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    Keep your wife satisfied, your addiction/compulsions were not her fault. Why take away her only source of healthy pleasure.

    Having lived through it now, rebooting while still having sex with the Mrs. does in fact take longer. For me I would say it was about 150 days before I could really start to see the contrasting shift in my mental paradigm.

    Also know that frequent O can and will create the chaser effect which is harder to overcome than not having urges to begin with. So beware.

    My advice is set up some boundaries and only have emotionally connected intercourse based on love and connection, any other reason/form should be left off the table. Be careful of fantasizing, or selfishness in sex.

    I wish you the best of luck. Reboot is totally worth it.
     
    Reverent, May 7, 2018
    Reverent, May 7, 2018
    #6
    danielghbr and Syncedandcorrected like this.

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