This is proving so much harder than I thought it would be. I never realised just how much I actually PMO until now!? Annoyed at myself again as I just set the counter back to day 1 eugh. Here's the thing, I gave in and watched P for only a few minutes then before I knew it, I was edging. I thought "surely my counter should be reset now anyway as I've just watched P AND masturbated (even if I didn't reach O) so what the hell I'll just go all the way" :/ Have any of you ever felt that downward spiral? You think "hey this much has happened so far so I've already failed and need to reset" - what would you say is allowed- does 5-10 minutes of P AND edging require an instant reset? I'm pretty annoyed right now- somehow I reached nearly a four day streak when I started but now I'm just getting worse. This addiction is really tough to beat.
Yup, been there, approximately 21 hours ago. I came to a conclusion though... It's the porn and the porn alone that plays the biggest, if not the only role when it comes to a relapse. If you think about it, were you going to masturbate and not look at porn? For myself, the minutes before I relapse are usually spent looking or seeking out porn, and inevitably giving in and full blown PMO'ing. So, stay away from porn like it's the plague. It's the truly damaging part of PMO.
Hey eridanus23, Im sure you would agree that the counter is not the important thing. The important thing is your reason(s) for tying to stop PMO. So don't get too bummed about the counter that it messes with your head. I have definitely used that same excuse many a time to go through with my masturbation. You're counter says you reset when you watch any P or M at all. That's a great goal and mine too, but if you are struggling with that (as I have been) then I advise changing your goals and then adding to them as you find success with the smaller goals. I don't recommend you allowing edging because it almost always goes downhill fast. If P is fueling your M then you could allow M but cut all P out. Then, when you are used to living without P you ban M as well. The counters are sweet but don't let it mess you up. It was actually making things harder for so Im changing my perspective. Another option is to ban everything but only reset it for M or P if that would save some frustration. Good luck bro!
beauty's reply is spot on in my situation. I'm much less likely to fap without porn. For me though I'm having to be even stricter than that. I often have looked at bikini pics or topless pics with only critical body parts covered or obscured. So not quite porn but bikini pics lead to porn, so it just got me going down the wrong path and once headed in that direction it is very hard for me to reverse course. Heck anything with cleavage is bad for me cuz I feel unsatisfied with just cleavage so search for swimsuit pics, then topless, and by then I'm fapping pretty rigorously. So zero-tolerance it is.
Just to build on what Fapatosaurus said, if you know something is a trigger, you must remain disciplined and avoid the trigger. If you unintentially view something that is a trigger, you MUST MUST MUST get that view out of your sight and clense it from your brain. Discipline is the key word here. If you want to abstain, you MUST stay disciplined.
I had a similar experience last night and because I PMO'd once, I decided I may as well have a binge so I went three more times over a few hours. I have felt pretty low today and I now know that I am more addicted than I thought. At least each time I fail I can identify why and rectify the situation for next time. I know for myself I will need a P blocker and a computer cut off time at night. I try to think of it as a fresh start and not dwell on it too much.
Exactly in the same boat as you eridanus! Just PMO now....watching P had some thoughts of I should not be doing this...while searching for that "perfect video"... i hope both of us can get to that day 1 without any MO or PMO.
For me, I made real progress, when I understood two things: 1) The addiction is a sort of "coping" with stress, fear, doubts, having no plan, etc. Therefore, work on you whole attitude and mindset towars your life. What are your goals in life? What do you want to accomplish? Imagine yourself in ten years, what would you like to have done until then? And what holds you from doing this? 2) Get an alternative way how to experience sexuality. An orgasm is not as necessary as many people think. Once you have changed your mindset, then you see that you can go without orgasms at all, and you will become a VERY BALANCED person. If you have a sexual partner, then you can find very pleasant new ways to enjoy your bodies ("Carezza"), and it is a really pleasant, very balancing experience. Once you focus on your way and on a new mindset, then the urge to look porn and to masturbate will fade away by itself.
Holy shit, I am at day 4, it´s so hard right not to relapse ... I need to go to bed now but I have lot of sexual energy and a boner. I already took a ice-cold shower This is one of the hardest challenges I have ever started ... I hope it gets better after week #1 ...
