Restart - new begining

in this past week i relapsed several times
today is day 2 taking small 7 day clean challenge but this time its not only to complete 7days but make me myself improve
1)wake up early
2)self control
3)routine
this things i want it

 

so day 3
i woke up early in the morning i m out here to clg did my excercise also never stay free or at home otherwise you will stuck in trap

 

Again day 0
yesterday i relapsed yes i m back on day 0 once we relapsed we have a great regret and on that regret we spoil our whole week or next day or we can say we give up on past on yesterday mistake i accept i relapse but my yesterday relapse i will not allow it to spoil my today moment i have learn from my yesterday
1)i have to make my brain understand that porn is bad for me my brain thinks porn is the best thing which gives us alot pleasure which is completely wrong this is temporary pleasure and permenant pain but i tell my brain after relapse i must train my brain to understand its not good for me
how ?
1)zigziggler said yes motivation doesnt last forever even bath doesnt so you must have it daily
we must listen daily some motivation videos some stories to read some knowledge about how porn effects life
2)i dont know please if you know tell me DJ you can help me in this
this is my life biggest problem and i want to overcome this and i will find a way anyhow
dont give up have a nice day

 

this is my triggers this is how my mind works nowadays
its my day 2 yes now i m learning something had a great urgue let me tell you the situation: my whole work is on internet because i have a youtube channel
so i need to reply them email them and set all thumbnail videos tags and most of thing is on internet and may be i m habbited to internet i work from home
from early morning there was no internet i was frustrated like hell i open my phone i have internet on my phone but limited and slow had a thought fuck everything lets go on phone internet and read sex stories but that was an urgue to give up then i understand its an urgue then my mind went on whatsapp after all i cant do work so was doing timepass on whatsapp no one was there again got frustrated then on linkedin and same situation can you notice this all are things are triggers my mind think is good for me when i m bored that how my mind works and that mindset is we need to change i have started listening people motivation videos that helps me alot to create a great mindset yes we must here them daily even i speak motivation to all my student i m gonno finish my work and decide what i can do without internet we need to change our mindset i didnt give up because i m understanding the urgue i m understanding how my mind work somebody said you must read yourself you must know yourself better then you then you can change yourself have a nice day

 

Day 2
i completely relapsed the day before yesterday when we relapsed there is a strong feeling to give up to feel guilty we think we are totally fucked up but you must standup must believe in you and in god.
i made a commitmet of seven days no internet yes my business is on internet but my life my self control is more important than all these i must priorities my stuff this is my greatest priority i want find solution for this some practical solution for this which can work for me and for everyone if you have give me if there are any person whose journal are motivation type tell me the name i want to learn from them i want to grow

 

happen brother our mindset have became like this thats why we have to change our mindset we have to give priority to thing which gono improve us which gono help us to make ourself the best version we can be

 

MUST READ

I made to day 4 today day 5
so as i told i was not using internet yesterday night i used it
4 days experiance without internet
1)i was having a good amount of time to do thing yes i was not knowing what to do but when you are free dont access internet then you will something cool something creative internet access means porn and masturbation but no internet access so i was thinking now what i can do and i started working on it
2)in the evening i used to wake up till late night manuplating my mind that i working but i was in autopilot mode and was surfing blindly on internet but when i shut it off i used to started sleep early 2 days i sleep at 11 and yes 2 days i sleep at 1 but fine
everyday i woke up early in the morning i was having goals real goals not of internet
3) i made great and more videos as you lnow i do online teaching and for that i have to make videos yes i was offline but i was having books from there i studied and made videos on my phone
4)i met 3 more tutors gave them the work to make videos for my online teaching convinced them
5)met my own team of my startup had a great a talk it was amazing meeting them yes i was not online but it was an amazing experiance
i realize all the benefit i used to listen from nofap user when they stop porn

what happen when yesterday i opened internet
1)i opened whatsapp first thing i search is divanshi(desperate) message it was simple hi i replied hi
then to pooja (second girl) i dont think so there is any love like something its normal we get dophamine by chgatting with girl so i was doing it i understand that
then i was keep on searching some good message whick makes me happy but didnt found it there were 68 messages to reply some were asking notes some were asking doubt my mindwas fuck it i want dophamine i swap to facebook didnt found anything there also then i to youtube to watch some videos urgue came lets watch porn but now i was havig a control on me my will power was increased because 4 days i havent used internet i closed my phone off the internet wrote all this experiance and gone for sleep
woke up today early in the morning had great urgue that divanshi reply would have came let go to whatsapp i said no i will take 7 days more challenge is beneficial for my life let do it
i m not gono reply even to divanshi for one more week i hope i will forget her also i want to change my life this is my life icant give my control to anyone else my life is like my car why should i give the steering to some one else i m gono drive its firstly on autopilot mode so need to change that first bring the ar in control then go slowly and take speed but in control when we take speed we again go back to autopilot mode this is a message i want to give you

 

had a relapse

 

dont give up you can do this

 

i relapsed again in the morning yes i m going through failure consistantly but i wont give up will try new approach untill i quit this addiction if we give up or if we get dissappointed we will never gonno win if you relapse okay i will start again this is not first standerd test this is a fucking marathon race where you will fall again and again if you loose initially you stop coming to nofap then again you need to start the marathon keep on going you will win nobody can defeat the person who keeps on going

 

sure i will be happy to send me your journal link

 

7 day challenge of no pmo + no internet
i can only use internet i n my colege library that also to come to nofap only
1)In night very much urgues come to use internet because a patter was created i used to surf on internet til midnight 1 -2 am then go to sleep but now there is no internet so i feel uncomfortable sometime but yeah in starting i will seek but once i m used to it then i will be fine
2)many thousand of random thoughts come in my mind always and i keep on day dreaming feel bad also on some negative thought i cant even walk without thinking this is the condition i can say its overthinking do you any idea to improve it even i will search for it
my hard time will start from tomorrow 3 days there is holiday of uni so i have to stay at home i must pre plan for this so i wont get distracted i will messaging you may between this 3days or direct on next tuesday and yes i will be clean till tuesda

 

relapse yesterday

what i learn that matter alot i have to win championship not every match

yes i m writing now and even planning what to do when i m at home i working on me bro
1)if i stay normal at home urgues comes nothing to got bored urgues comes
2)why i relapsed yesterday bcoz i was making a videos on a lecture which was a bit difficult and i was not able to make the video i wanted too and frustration was coming depression was coming and gave up
but actually it was normal the reality was it was really not easy after relapse next day i think of that topic in a creative manner and made the video so simple so yea when we do some difficult task those task which gives mental pain we give up we have to make ourself strong enough and understand how urgue work next time if my videos will not work it out its ohk i will take a break rather then giving up
3)what to do when you are at home alone?
-plan your day
-cut off the internet
plan those thing in which you have interest otherwise there are chances of relapse if you dont have anything to do clean the house wash clothes i did yesterday its a awesome feeling so this what i learn from from my last mistake how was it ?