Routine or Abstain

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Rakif Samad, Jun 10, 2015.

  1. Rakif Samad

    Rakif Samad Fapstronaut

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    So here is the situation. I am obviously trying to abstain from PMO, like everyone else here. Everyone has different has different ways of doing so. What I like to do is have a busy routine. I like to keep myself busy, do work, do activities, basically do anything that can keep my mind focused and away from PMO. However the problem is that I am at times very lazy. Sometimes I don't like following my routine even though I know it is good for me. Sometimes I might skip a prayer or miss a chance to go to the gym.


    But I know I need to keep myself busy so that I don't relapse or PMO, because I know I can't just abstain with pure willpower, I need a few things to occupy my mind and my time. So the question is, what should I spend most of my willpower or attention on?


    Following my routine to the point where it is practically a second nature, but I may relapse a few times or putting all my will power into abstaining and ignoring my routine.


    My thinking is that if I can develop and follow a busy routine like it is second nature to me, I will have an easier time at abstaining since I can willingly keep myself a bit exhausted and busy. Plus it is good for the long run


    I have to take the time to develop discipline in one of them, if I try to follow and discipline myself to follow a routine and abstain at the same time (which I have tried) I can sometimes go insane or have days where I just quit and binge on PMO like the aftermath of a breakdown, that is why I wanted you guys thought process and insight from your own personal experiences in this, which is better?
     
    eldish likes this.
  2. eldish

    eldish Fapstronaut

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    I think that having a set plan for when obsessive thoughts come (which they will!) is necessary. For me, I have made a commitment to watch a youtube video or walk away from the computer all together and splash cold water in my face. I also think that spending most of your time carving out a new way of life with exercise, nutrition, hanging out with friends is key! Every-time I have ever been successful it is because I am so focused on positive stuff instead of PMO. So my advise, have a set plan for when the obsessive thoughts come and do it everytime they come until they stop coming. I learned this from a guy who has several years PMO free.
     
    AdamJibril likes this.
  3. Rakif Samad

    Rakif Samad Fapstronaut

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    ha thanks man, your advice is really what I needed, I suspected that routine was key but I needed a second opinion. But I really don't have that much discipline, because sometimes what can happen is that when I have a severe urge, I lose all will to do something other than PMO, my mind sticks to my urge and that is why I wanted to develop a routine that will rid most of the urges that I could potentially have by expending some of my energy.

    For me cold showers nor cold water usually works, mostly exercise, so maybe when what I could do is do a few push ups or work on a project or something or just even hang out with my mother, do some work around the house or just talk to her and other family members.
     
  4. Bro you need a middle way, dont make a routine which is too hard and you should relax more, especially in the moments when u get urges. Your body has to relax.. it sounds to me, that youre doing 1000 tasks everyday, lower the amount of tasks to a few each day, i think then u stop having these lazy days. Here is a great video from NoFapAcademy about dealing with urges: Stay strong ! :)
     
  5. eldish

    eldish Fapstronaut

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    I also have heard that when having obsessive urges, the best thing to do is flee! Get away from the computer and get away from the smart phone or tablet. Flee! Go outside on a walk or something. Call a friend. Whatever you do, get away from the thing where you could relapse - the computer. I only have a few days but this is something I read and plan on doing myself.
     
    AdamJibril likes this.
  6. I think its another way to deal with it, NoFap has many different ways and methods :p Use what works for you. But its allways hard to fight every urge, so i like to relax and give my body the comfort it needs. I think if you are allways fighting it, you can easier get back to PMO ^^ Its my opinion. Fighting urges is important to learn how to deal with uncomfortable situations, but sometimes you should listen to your body and give him a break and just sit back. Good luck my brother! :)
     
    eldish likes this.
  7. Rakif Samad

    Rakif Samad Fapstronaut

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    thanks you all for you answers i greatly appreciate the support and advice
     

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