scared of girls

Very helpful reply

 

I didn't read the comments, sorry, but here's my suggestion, it might work, or not, so try it.
When you feel that anxiety again, (when it comes - don't try to summon it on purpose), instead of fighting it, just sit with it. Even taunt it, like "is that all we've got?! More anxious, now!".
Only do it alone.
We suppress (resist) some emotions in our past, and as we change, they just try to evolve, and they will, if you just let yourself have what you already have.
It might disappear forever after 5 minutes of this, just because you dropped the resistance to this "fear".
If it doesn't work, let me tell you that I had legit anxiety attacks before meeting my love (lol I seriously was insane), but it's been years since then and we're very happy together still. So in the worst case, just feel like shit - you might still go and get lucky like me.

 

I think that first thing that can help you is to avoid any expectations. Get out with a girl for fun and to have a great time.

 

A lot of this is good, it is good to avoid approaching girls in a streak/reboot.

But the main reason why someone does a reboot is to upgrade their lives.

They get clarity of thought, energy and mental focus.

Using those tools, they can earn more money, start a business, improve their current business.

Or they can go out and be awesome with their skills, it can be in countless ways, like music,

writing, art, athletics, etc.

Here is the endgame:

creating an awesome life, which will bring women, without approaches.

Trust in this process.

 

Hey, man, what you write here seems noble. Please, however, be cautious not to become sexually repressed in the process. I'm writing this out of concern. This is great that you don't want to live just to please women - with this I agree. But don't beat yourself up for the fact that they keep getting in your thoughts - after all, you are a man and they are incredible I think it would be better if you allowed these thoughts, just not follow them into the fantasy land too much. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I really see some danger with your quest.

 

I think you got the right attitude.

The only thing I can add, speaking for myself, is that there always has been

kind of a minimal or ambient amount of sex drive there, in my mind.

I don't see that changing very much because that aspect of a man,

is his purpose in society.

Some men are eunachs, this is true, but not many.

But as weird as it sounds, having a robust sex drive

actually is good FOR THE REBOOT/STREAK!

The reason I say this is because the sex drive is what makes a man

achieve in life, in sports, academia, business, music, arts, fighting, whatever.

A eunach, or priest, in my opinion would not get much out of streaking for that reason.

So the streak becomes a double-edged sword,

making the man more intense, yet happens because he denies himself.

The thing about the streak is that it is emotionally hard for me sometimes,

because I have moments, and I think, boy, I would sure like a woman about now...

But if I stay on this life improvement course, I am using and developing discipline.

And what you will learn over time,

is that there is always going to be a girl for you.

Always. Everywhere you go, there is someone.

Since you know I'm not lying about that,

put off chasing women as long as possible,

and you will be seriously glad about that in the future.

You already have some awesome momentum in your streak now,

keep it going.

You are too smart, I can tell by your writing, to throw it away.

 

It will be very surprised, but I never knew how to make a girlfriend or talk to girls, and I never thought about to making girlfriend, please tell me what to do,

 

Yeah, you don't have to feel bad about how you think about women.

That is just a bunch of male-shaming that comes out of the media.

I mean, when you see a girl who is all primped up, what is a guy supposed to think?

Hey, I bet she's really good at chess...

Hey I wonder if this girl knows the Beethoven sonata as well as I do...?

That is not part of attraction.

Likewise, she doesn't think about you like that either.

So it's ok, it's part of it.

Is it ok to say that because she was wearing a skirt, that someone has the right

to blame her for their sexual thoughts?

No, that's the responsibility of an individual, what they think about.

But I think you are a good dude, and you will complete this reboot,

and every day things will keep getting better.

I am seeing your attitude improve already.

Notice how effortless that is?

It's because you are putting in the work to do the streak.

I commend you, my friend.

 

Can relate - I'm having similar thoughts/experiences. 7 weeks is a great streak - get back at it, man. You'll feel great in no time. It's right there for you to take!

 

7 weeks?

 

Oh ok.

Keep it going, you are over the 30 day mark today.

Super excellent outstanding!

 

I had the exact same thing. It made realize that deep within. I thought i didnt deserve love. Once I acknowledged I deserve love just like everyone else it went away.

 

I guess it depends how you define "love".

In America they use the same word to define romantic love, familial love, unconditional love

and friendship.

When I myself talk about love, it's about romantic love with a girl.

But who deserves it?

This thing is not standardized, exactly...

Everybody in my opinion does not and does deserve it at the same time.

 

oh, pfft, I would never have met my wife if I had this rule. Just meet somewhere crowded like a town square, shopping mall, etc first time you meet. If the girl on the profile pic isn't there, go home. Don't agree to meet up in an abandoned warehouse or a car park late at night!

You should be doing things that scare you - all the time! It is good for your character. If you are anxious about taking a girl out for a drink - do it anyway! If she humiliates you, walks out and leave you with the bill - big deal. Treat it as a learning experience. The worse thing that can happen is rejection, and after that happens a few times, you will realise that it isn't that bad. Whatever, try again. This is about building confidence, improving as a man. It's not about getting married to the first girl who doesn't run away from you

I think guys here should lighten up about paying for dinner too - what's the big deal if she's 'using' you to pay for a meal anyway? Take her somewhere nice but basic. Don't play at being a big shot if you can't afford it. Treat it as entertainment, budget for it, and treat her. If you are so poor that you can't afford taking a girl to a restaurant once in a blue moon, maybe focus on your career for a bit.

 

This is masterful insight. I mean that.

I also have met women online, never had a problem.

The thing where I have gone wrong in dating is to rush into the first date.

I think there needs to be some weeks or a month where there is a solid rapport built,

then dating at that point is ok, fun even.

But if you meet a girl, and the same week you are on a date with her,

the odds are slim this will end up in a relationship.

You can play the numbers game, and sometimes it ends up in a relationship,

but it's an expensive way to get there, filled with rejection and unproductive time wasted.

Go out on a date with someone who you like, don't settle.

Love is the intersection of compatibility and attraction.