Second times a charm

Today i made the decision that my next go at this will be the time i can finally say i have over come this addiction for good!

The reason i say second times a charm is because a little over a month ago i though i'd beaten it for good. in the past year i'd managed the odd 5-14 day run but that last time was the first time i'd really gone beyond that. (68 days followed by a month of binge watching/masterbating ) that run came after i'd admitted to myself that spending whole days doing nothing but watching porn was not healthy, I was at a real low point.

Those 68 days taught me that i can do this. Like many of you i read posts on this forum in which people had managed large streaks and though to myself i could never hope to get close to anything like that myself. In my experience each week does become that little bit easier!

I felt quite a few noticeable benefits. These are just the ones i'm sure are 100% real and not just some placebo effect!

1- Improved mood/ more in tune with my emotions

Number one benefit for me I cant remember the last time i felt so optimistic.I've never been an unhappy person but this was on a whole new level. I can remember tears of joy and sadness while watching a couple of movies for example. Normally very little moves me outwardly (I know i should be feeling things but more often than not i feel a bit removed from it all if that makes sense)

2- More confidence

3- My eyes were much brighter

I was always skeptical about these types of claims but i've added this a true benefit for me as after week three i began recording a weekly message to myself as motivation. I always though i had pale blue eyes but by the last few weeks my eyes were bright blue and really popped out at you.

4- More motivation

I find it hard to get myself out of bed in the morning just now, I just don't have the drive. On my streak i was jumping out of bed straight into a cold shower.... In January and February while it was sub zero and snowing outside. That says it all. I wasn't skipping breakfast and i made time for doing some weights before work.

5- Looking at women as people

Porn has definitely shape how i view women and not in a positive way. I felt as time went on i looked upon women in a better light and had more of an interest in what made them tick as individuals

Anyway sorry if i rambled on. Here's hoping i can get back on track this time. I found reading though a lot of these posts great motivation. This time around in the early stages of what i hope to be my final reboot i'm sure they will help with the hard early stages of it

 

Thanks for your encouragement.

You sound determined and just as tired of failing as i do at this point! I don't want to even think about relapsing from here on out as i know i'm just hurting myself.

All the best in your reboot

 

Hey yugowolf1991 that was a very impressive streak, you definitely have it in you to go on another and better it! Feeling bad afterwards i guess is a natural response but the quicker you say to yourself you need to get back on track the better. I wasted 39 days (Relapsing more times than i like to admit) before hopefully saying enough is enough yesterday. I feel joining this site will help me in that goal. it really helps to keep all the reasons we are doing this fresh in our heads while also showing we are not alone in our struggles. All the best to you