Should I tell my dad??

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by bobmarley4200bit, Jan 24, 2020.

  1. bobmarley4200bit

    bobmarley4200bit New Fapstronaut

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    Guys, I’m seventeen and I can’t fucking stop. I’ve be trying since October, the longest I lasted was 8 days. Yeah, 8. By now I’m realizing that the only way I’m going to get rid of this, is by getting someone else’s help. What do you think?? Has telling your parents ever helped anybody???
     
  2. romeolima

    romeolima Fapstronaut

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    Hi there.

    It's not clear from your post what your trying to stop, Porn (P), Porn and Masturbation (PM) or Porn, Masturbation & Orgasm (PMO).

    8 days is not a bad streak and shows that you can do this, or anything else you set your mind to.

    Whilst everyone here has there own opinions and objectives I don't think that a complete lack of MO for someone of your age (or my age for that matter) is healthy.

    If you can be clearer or what you are trying to achieve then people will be better placed to assist you.

    Good luck
     
  3. misery

    misery Fapstronaut

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    I'm seventeen also.

    I know exactly where you're coming from. Even though I haven't been a member here for long, I've been reading the forums and trying to quit for a long time. Probably around four or five years now.

    The most I've been able to last is around two and a half weeks, and that was with circumstances basically preventing me from being able to do it.

    With all that being said, I wouldn't tell your parents. It might hurt matters more than help. Trust me, I know it can be tempting, I've thought about it too. I think this is just something that you have to tackle on your own, because truthfully you're the only one that can actually fix this problem.

    My best advice is this. Do NoFap, set up your counter, and do all that. But don't overdo it either. I've found that reading the forums too much and kind of focusing on quitting too much can actually just make you want to do it more, and can become an obsession all on its own. Instead, try to focus on filling the time with something else, getting outside, basically making it hard for yourself to find the time to do it.

    In psychology, there's a certain kind of technique called cognitive behavioral therapy. It's commonly used to treat things like anxiety, and depression, but it also includes some ideas that are actually very helpful in fighting PMO. One of those things is called thought replacement. The idea is that every time you have a particular thought, that you make yourself conscious of that thought, and kind of 'change the subject' to something else. So every time you catch yourself thinking about masturbating, try to think about something else, or get involved with something else. The goal is to make that into a habit so that every time you have that particular thought, you catch it.

    I hope that what I've said helps you some. Feel free to message me any time.
     
  4. SeekingPower

    SeekingPower Fapstronaut

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    One of the best replies here.
    But I wouldnt focus too much on NoOrgasm. You should replace that with yes Orgasm With Inrl GF.
     
    misery likes this.
  5. I am a father of a guy your age. Listen, being really into porn and PMO at your age isn't a good thing, but it isn't some horrible thing you should be ashamed of.
    Try a bit more on your own. You just might need to be a bit more strict with yourself - like homework or saving money. It doesn't come easy, it needs work.
    If you still feel this way in several weeks, talk to dad. A solid relationship with your father is a priceless thing. Don't listen to people who tell you not to do it. They probably are not fathers. It's the job of a father to help his son get through difficult times. But again, I'd try a bit harder on my own first.
     
  6. How old are you? At least give us a ballpark, ie 16-20
     
  7. misery

    misery Fapstronaut

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    He says in his post that he's seventeen.
     
  8. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Your dad might think it is a lot of crap because he didn't grow up in the age of high speed internet. So when your dad was growing up porn wasn't causing men the same damage as what it is causing men now because they didn't have an unlimited amount of it and the delivery of it was completely different.
     
    misery likes this.
  9. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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  10. So this is easier to beat if someone is helping - in person or on here, whether it's a support group, an accountability partner going through it, or someone. Most recovery programmes for most addictions agree.

    In terms of who, that's a hell of a thing. This is a lot to tell people if they don't already know, so consider that. I'd write what you were going to say at first too - there's lots of guides online for therapeutic disclosure.
     
  11. I suggest you limit your use, at your age trying to stop is very odd thing to even bring to the table. You are entering the peak of sexual development and sex drive.
    What do you expect your parents will do for you? How do you think this will improve your life and their life?
    About only thing they can do is, become more vigilant and interfere with your life but I am sure you will find that incredibly painful and it may ruin your parent relationship.

    You have huge sex drive, at your age only thing that is relevant to you is sex and sex related stuff. How do you plan to just stop that?
    You got brainwashed, yes porn has negative effects, yes you should limit how you use it. But at this stage pain of trying to stop will destroy your self esteem, which is already damaged because you are looking for support from your parents.
     
  12. I know your urge to tell someone close to you about your problem, but I think you shouldn't do it now. Listen to Ogikubo's opinion which seems the soundest.
    We've all been there, at the beginning of our road to freedom. Resigning from addiction seems to be an impossible task to do now, but if you dedicate yourself to it, you can do it. It's a hard fact.
    You must realise that you don't need porn to be happy. It's the other way round - you can't be happy while being addicted. Read about the addiction on our forum, set some goals, find an accountability partner, and join some challenge. You're young enough to have a life without issues concerning this addiction, but you have to stop it today.
    I recommend no PMO for 90 days. By doing only no PM it'll take you much longer to feel effects, so don't listen to guys telling you to skip it. Believe someone with more experience.
     
    misery likes this.

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