silencing our inner vice voice

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Fredi-the, Jan 25, 2019.

  1. Fredi-the

    Fredi-the Fapstronaut

    I would like to know what you guys do to quieten the silent manipulative voice in your head that tells you to go ahead and look at porn. There are a million rationalizations that this voice seems to come up with to convince my mind to do it. It usually win out too. Since I found YBOP and NoFap websites about 5 years ago, I have had lots of motivation and attempts to quit PMO at various times but then it gets sabotaged by this inner quiet voice. The highest streak I have reached it 67 days but that was 5 years ago when I had hope. That's why I decided to join this community since I realize I need help as well as an accountability partner. Can barely make it a week now without giving into PMO temptations. Perhaps I need to install filters on my computer so the PMO option is taken away. Any advice on how to do this on a MacBook would be appreciated too. Hopeful at Day zero!
     
    pinzinet likes this.
  2. The Wrestler

    The Wrestler Fapstronaut

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    Hey - welcome to the forum!
    Past success is always a great place to build on for future success, what did you do last time that worked so well?
    What can you do to deal with the negative feelings that you try to escape by using porn?
     
  3. pinzinet

    pinzinet Fapstronaut

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    You got this! We're here for you. Keep talking about it here, and I even recommend starting a private diary (I do that) and use that panic button when needed. And by the way, 67 days is a huge accomplishment. I'm just starting and have never made it past 20 days in my entire life. Wishing you luck!
     
  4. Fredi-the

    Fredi-the Fapstronaut

    When I made it to day 67, I really believed I could do it and was very surprised when one click lead to another and built up momentum I seemed unable to stop. Sadly, I have slowly lost my belief and drive that I can do it and have only given it half hearted tries over the past few years. I am hoping that joining this website will be the ticket to my success and give me the belief I can do it to day 90. I also am motivated by my health this time. It seems PMO's make my BPH symptoms worse and I think is to blame for my enlarged prostate causing pissing issues. I am also tired of the guilt trips and shame I feel afterward PMO's and just want to be sexually normal. Looking at porn has been a 45 year addiction and with high speed internet, I has escalated to a kid in a candy store type scenario... always there at the click of a mouse. I think my willpower is strong enough this time to succeed so hopefully I make it to 90 days then see where I am at emotionally, physically and spiritually.
     
    pinzinet likes this.
  5. Fredi-the

    Fredi-the Fapstronaut

    Thanks for your support Pinzinet. I have also made a word document for my private diary which I will write in daily. I also listed all the reasons I am needing to quit and what will motivate me to succeed. Hope this works as I have never kept a diary/journal before.
     
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  6. pinzinet

    pinzinet Fapstronaut

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    Believe in yourself! You got this! Give yourself a real goal outside of quitting porn to help you focus on something else. I decided to go to the gym, and I had fun even buying myself a new gym outfit. I feel quite excited about it, and it has helped me to put my energy into some else that is new. I recommend you select something new for you to focus on at the same time as quitting porn. And, too, don't fear a potential relapse in the future. As I've read here, and believe to be true, it's about getting back up after falling down that *truly* counts – remember that. Write it down and put it on the wall for yourself to read everyday :)
     
  7. pinzinet

    pinzinet Fapstronaut

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    Diaries are the best :) My therapist told me that keeping a diary is a valid form of psycho-therapy, isn't that cool? Definitely my most useful life tool for exploring my emotions and coming up with solutions
     
  8. Fredi-the

    Fredi-the Fapstronaut

    I agree about diaries. BTW - Ironically, I have just signed up for a gym and am going to do a weight lifting program with a trainer to help me get started. Hobbies are my next focus. Thanks again for the great advice.
     
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  9. pinzinet

    pinzinet Fapstronaut

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    That's so awesome :)
     
  10. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    The thought is the primitive part of you that fears change.

    You need to calm it and give it an alternative.

    Try saying this to the thought:

    "Thank you for the thought, but that's the old, useless way. The new way is to improve so that I can succeed in life."

    You can adjust the wording to suit your circumstances. Make sure that you breathe while you do this.
     
    pinzinet and SirErnest like this.
  11. Fredi-the

    Fredi-the Fapstronaut

    Thanks Mordobarn. Great advice! I will try it. :)
     
  12. Andy Dufresne

    Andy Dufresne Fapstronaut

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    Hi Fredi. I always look at it as there are 2 sides of me (a bit like the wrestler's avatar!). One of them is the 'devil' who whispers manipulations focused on securing long term pleasure at any cost. He doesn't want to beat PMO at all - he loves it. And he won't die until the day I die.
    BUT, neither will my 'angel' side. So my focus is on giving him as much power as I can.
    There have been times when I PMO and the angel voice in me is literally saying"this will definitely make you miserable. Stop now and limit the damage" but the devil is already in control.
    However, installing porn filters, mediation, and a healthy dose of willpower are all helping to turn this tide (I really can't recommend porn blockers and not knowing the password enough)

    A similar analogy is we all have a bad Wolf and good Wolf inside us. The question is which one do you feed?

    Ok so over with the analogies. If you can manage 67 days, you can beat this thing. But don't let minor setbacks dent your confidence. This journey is not a straight line.
     
  13. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut

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    Let's not forget cold showers to focus the mind. Little by little, they become a necessary part of life once you make a start.
     
  14. ImpureHuman

    ImpureHuman Fapstronaut

    Brother, set control system in your mind. The awareness behind thoughts. enforce it with positive things.
     

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