Singleness and masturbation

I am sorry but I don't have much experience being single. However, I can see in myself that if left unchecked, I would constantly lust after any female that I found attractive, regardless of my marital status. Marriage is a wonderful comfort but it is not the answer to controlling lust.

Man is both part animal and part spirit. Our spiritual side, aided by our intellect and directed by the will of God, is meant to lead the animal side not Vice Versa. Masturbation is simply a means to indulge lustful thoughts and indulging lust certainly won't lead to controlling the emotion. Take heart though, the more you learn to control lust, the less it dominates your thoughts. I assure you, there is light at the end of this tunnel and with that light comes joy, confidence and freedom.

 

You have a high sex drive because you have given lust free rein. Rein it in and your drive will reduce. This is difficult but not impossible, although I think we can only enter Christ's peace in this area with much help from him!

 

I am single and have abstained for 57 days now. And I would say sex drive goes up, but you learn to not act on it. It is possible to be extremely horny but without fantasies, and without thinking of masturbating. When you get used to being horny without feeling the need to act out on it, things get a lot more manageable. The sex drive is not the real problem, it's what you do with your thoughts. The solution would be to have a mind filled with scripture and prayers. Taking time each day to be with God is very important, and to keep thinking of the things of God.

 

I remember asking this question a while back from a single guy's perspective. Not diminishing the struggles of married men who deal with pmo, but being a single christian male, who wants to honor God, but has a sex drive with no healthy and holy outlet is tough. I pray that the Holy Spirit gives you the strength and the grace to keep on trekking because the struggle is real

 

This. My longest streak so far has been 90 days and I noticed a reduction in urges by the time I got there. I think of it like going up a wave. It's really hard at the beginning, but once you get over the crest of the wave, things get easier. I don't think the urges ever totally go away, but it becomes manageable.

What got me after 90 days btw was discovering arousing game mods. I was learning how to make game mods, my mind as far away from porn as it could possibly be, when I stumbled upon them. I say this because what tripped me up after 90 days was something new and totally unexpected that I wasn't prepared to deal with. I really think I could have gone another 90 days without falling into the usual trap (i.e. get an urge -> look up p-subs -> look up porn -> PMO) because I had gotten into such a habit of dealing with temptation.

 

There will always be novel things that seek to trip us up. Our commitment remains the same at all times: No P, no MO, no P-subs, no fantasizing. We kill lust at its root and do not let it flower in our minds. Onward.

 

I believe you are focusing on of a very important realization. Man's carnal mind is easily tempted by the idea of something new. Marketing executives learned decades ago that one of the most effective advertising slogans is "New and Improved". This is one of the major hooks in porn, the possibility of a new face or image that is more exciting than the last but of course it is all just more of the same ugly phenomenon. Underneath these images is a slimy, thoroughly evil, ravenous motivation to smother us in a morass of misery and rob us of an eternal life in heaven with God. The promise of new and improved is just another false promise from the devil.