Slowly turning gay

Guyfaulx1605

Guyfaulx1605

Fapstronaut
I started looking at porn when I was really really young (like 7yo) the more I consumed the more hardcore it needed to be to get me off. At first it was a naked woman, then it was two naked women, then lesbians, then an orgy, then trannys Now I can only get off to gay stuff. The problem is I’m not actually gay. I’m Married to a woman that I love very much. Who I can’t come too. I keep trying to do Nofap. The longest I ever lasted was day 21. Today, I have relapsed at day 13.

if I give porn up for good will I be able to go back to being straight again?
 
The short answer is yes. You were exposed to sex way too young in your development which is most likely why porn has such a strong pull on you. You're 165 days PMO free which is absolutely awesome! Congratulations and keep up the good work. On the attraction to gay porn, I would encourage you to work with someone to get to the root of that if you are not already doing that, i.e. therapist, NoFap weekly group, SAA group etc. Hardest thing to do is try to do this alone - doesn't work well. I understand about not wanting to share with the wife, but with therapist help, you may decide that is ultimately the way to go and the way to expose this darkness to the light and defeat it. PMO addiction thrives in secrecy and shame, but dies in honesty and connection. I'm sure your wife ultimately will be supportive, even if it's rocky at first. Best wishes and stay strong.
 
No man, I’m not 165 days free, I’ve relapsed after 13 days. The longest I’ve ever lasted was 21.

The annoying thing is, that in the first few days I started having attraction to women but, by day 13 it was the gay stuff that made me hard.

I feel like a crack addict (no pun intended lol), the first few days I feel great but by day 13 the craving come and only thing I think about it cock.

The saddest thing is by this time I’m feeling so many benefits like improvements confidence, focus and drive but I always relapse.

also, the other sad thing is gay conversation therapy is illegal in this country. Do you know any other way of getting through this?




Robindale said:
The short answer is yes. You were exposed to sex way too young in your development which is most likely why porn has such a strong pull on you. You're 165 days PMO free which is absolutely awesome! Congratulations and keep up the good work. On the attraction to gay porn, I would encourage you to work with someone to get to the root of that if you are not already doing that, i.e. therapist, NoFap weekly group, SAA group etc. Hardest thing to do is try to do this alone - doesn't work well. I understand about not wanting to share with the wife, but with therapist help, you may decide that is ultimately the way to go and the way to expose this darkness to the light and defeat it. PMO addiction thrives in secrecy and shame, but dies in honesty and connection. I'm sure your wife ultimately will be supportive, even if it's rocky at first. Best wishes and stay strong.
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Best not to tell your significant other about your dance with the devil. Some people would not like to know or hear such things. If you say you're straight, and this is just an escalation problem, then why make her worry the worst? She'll pressure you more and she'll feel insecure. Solve these issues independently, and if you must get help; get it from here. She will not understand unless it has happened to her. For your own sake, fix yourself by yourself.

On a side note, NoFap is a great asset that clears the body, mind, and soul. I would say the drawback is that it doesn't do well with deep rooted fetishes such as these. The longer you post-pone your desire for gay porn, the stronger the urges get until the inevitable. Conditioning is key; conditioning is everything. If you must relapse, then relapse to regular porn. To post-pone a relapse for 13 days of homosexual intrusive thoughts and then release to such will do only more harm and write off any benefits.

Maybe a goal for you isn't NoFap, but a better goal would be periods of time to perform NoFap. Regular intervals in which you abstain and then release to vanilla porn until you crave it. Three days of abstinence should be met with one ejaculation to vanilla porn. Understand this is a problem you have but it should not be met with shame or else it'll grown within you. The novelty would suffice alone. Don't beat yourself up and just hope only for progress.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Take better care next time and limit yourself. Godspeed.
 
I got scared on time when I had a**l sex, I couldn’t get my mind off it. I caught myself sometimes staring at guys but I know I’m not gay. I love vagina a lot.
 
I can relate with porn at age 7-8 along with sexual abuse from two male friends almost back to back. I have been locked and loaded ever since. Emotionally I need a female and I have been married, kids and engaged currently. Sexually, I love both but only can get specific sexual with guys. Don’t over think this issue or you will drive yourself crazy. If you don’t want to play home with a guy, spend the rest of your life and grow old with a guy then you don’t like guys like that. Sex is sex and sometimes you end up liking certain things that aren’t the “norm” but that doesn’t define you. I’m in SA and I promise you are not alone in the slightest. We had so many guys having issues with SSA (same sex attracted) that we we started our own group. It will not go away totally and I would encourage you to track your cycle. It gets really strong once a month at least for me and it’s about the same time. Lol, it got to be at the same time my ex wife had her period. Reach out directly if you need to talk.
 
You are not gay. It is the addiction playing with your brain. If you manage to go on a sex fast with everyone in real life and in your imagination... except your wife of course.

KNOW... that it is the evil magic of the porn addiction that is doing this to you. It isn't you at all.

Just go cold turkey. I used all kinds of tricks to make acting out inconvenient but most of all I knew that I had converted into a drooling madman. When you clear away this addiction from your life, amazing things start to happen. You will notice your life getting better in a variety of ways after a matter of months.

The superpowers of Nofap are not free, however. To get them, you have to earn them by staying away... COMPLETELY AWAY from all addiction related people, places, materials and even thoughts.
 
Guyfaulx1605 said:
I started looking at porn when I was really really young (like 7yo) the more I consumed the more hardcore it needed to be to get me off. At first it was a naked woman, then it was two naked women, then lesbians, then an orgy, then trannys Now I can only get off to gay stuff. The problem is I’m not actually gay. I’m Married to a woman that I love very much. Who I can’t come too. I keep trying to do Nofap. The longest I ever lasted was day 21. Today, I have relapsed at day 13.

if I give porn up for good will I be able to go back to being straight again?
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It is because of the Testosterone levels,
When you PMO, your T level goes Lower, and when you abstain it goes higher
Doing Musculation and going to the gym and cold showering helps.

If you're too lazy:
1) 10 Pushups Daily
2) Cold Showers
3) Eat Healthy (No fastfood, Eat Rice daily, oat flakes daily, bananas daily, yogurt)

Your T-Level will explode =)

When you have low T-Levels it's normal to feel gay because you start to feel like you have the body of a Girl (it happened to me also)
Testosterone is what makes you feel like a real "Man" who craves eating pussies =)

I left PMO because it numbs my feeling and makes me feel gay and most importantly: lowers my Immunity system

Basically for me: If i don't stop PMO i won't be able to :
Work, be active in society, do works, etc..

PMO basically makes you numb and gives you the mood for doing nothing
 
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