I used the term "blue pills" as I think the trade name may be filtered on here as an anti-spam measure. But yeah, I was never prescribed and only started taking them as a recreational thing - and the strength of resultant erections was so great that I felt like a king and didn't want to stop taking them. But, they also gave me headaches, dehydrated me and desensitised me to the point of not being able to orgasm at all. You're right, everyone's right - I'm overthinking and need to let the outcome go a little.
Yes, take a chill pill....a lot of the ED is about stress of failing to get the hard on. The more you focus on performance, the more anxiety will build up. Chill, take care of her pleasure first without PIV, let her have her fun, than plunge...she'll have her Os first, you will consider that you delivered the goods after all. If you have an issue, tell her that she can always come back for more Os without PIVs. Tell her that you have a few issue that you need help with. I've known "good friends" like that that tolerated the PIED or ED no problem, because the relationship/friendship whatever was good enough.
If it does come to that I can't actually think of a better human being to share it with. I guess all is well
Good. Use that to lower the stress level/stop anticipating/making scenarios in your mind. Instead, start fresh. She seems to be a good person to help with your issues. And the way you are presenting her, she might become more than a good friend. You might develop something stronger with her. Again, step by step, but looking good!
So this is what happened... She arrived by bus and the chemistry was intense, even when I met her at the bus station. We eventually got to kissing and I kept feeling myself getting hard, but not quite hard enough - anxiety kicked in for a bit. I wasn't going to take a pill, but there was one in the bathroom cupboard and I was like "fuck it", bit it in two and swallowed half. Erection no problem now (clearly), but even after three months couldn't orgasm - I blamed the V on desensitising me. Next day we were at it again - this time I didn't take a pill, but don't think the first one had worn off. Still couldn't orgasm. Today, no pills, erection no problem and pretty convinced the first one had worn off, but still didn't orgasm - it was like I'd gone beyond it. The sex was intense, but she was all about receiving - so I went down on her, did everything for her, and she didn't do much to me - she was either being a bit shy, or she just expected me to be ready without needing to do anything (I've had this before) :/ She lives 150 miles away so not sure if or when I'll see her again, but I'm still processing this and not sure how I feel about any of it just yet. I feel tempted to masturbate to finish the job, but I won't because I clearly still have a long way to go!
Wow, some story. I'm glad that it didn't hit any of my trigger points. Too bad about the lack of the O, but at least you were able to perform. Strange that you didn't have the "happy ending," but you will get another chance if you want it. Now work on reducing anxiety (something I also need to work on) and keep going strong with your No PMO journey. You are close to the 100-day mark, that's fantastic.
Sounds like you did good after all. I mean she probably will come back for more! And you are right, not all girls have the reflex to give....and guys must make the lady O!!! But if you get to see her more, engage the "sex preferences" discussion, to know more what she likes, tell what you like, etc... 150 miles is a couple hours drive...when are you going to see her on her own turf?
Yeah I'll certainly have to approach that at some point. She's a decent girl, but if she's not into reciprocating anything it's gonna cause problems. It's borderline complicated for now. Although we've known each other for many years she's apprehensive because she's recently out of a long relationship, and also I know her ex and it could potentially cause her a lot of problems - he's a bit of a bully unfortunately and they live in quite a small town. I think the distance at this time is mostly a good thing, but it's a matter of allowing her space and seeing what happens.
Yeah, highly surprised considering how long it had been, but I think her expecting me to simply "be ready" had a lot to do with it.
Playing it safe makes sense! And about reciprocating, I hear you. Both need to "participate actively". That might clear things up by discussing that later. Good luck!
I just want to add that I really appreciate the people who took the time to comment and offer their feedback. I'm not very good at knowing how to respond to many threads on here because I'm still learning and have a long way to go. But yeah, cheers guys, it's appreciated.
