Spooning, rubbing. Is this safe for my reboot?

I'm interested to know how some others feel or think about this scenario.

The setup...
At night, laying in bed with my wife. I guess we are spooning....clothed.

Spoiler: Trigger Warning. Intimate details. Not necessarily safe for at risk Fapstronauts.

She wears pajama pants and t-shirt to sleep in. I sleep just in my underwear. I'm caressing her arms, side, back, etc. Sometimes I make a move to get inside her pants and she doesn't resist. Other times she doesn't want sex and says stop, not tonight, etc.

So if she's saying no, I'm often still there with my dick pressed up against her butt. I find myself slowly and softly pressing against her. It feels good, obviously. I get erect and I know that either she'll give in to the touching and let me progress, or not. Sometimes after a few tries she's into it and then we have sex. Sometimes she says no again. Still I press against her. It feels so good. Slowly rubbing back and forth on her.

Here's where I'm torn on the matter. I'm not having sex with her, I'm not masturbating, I'm not looking at porn, heck most of the time I don't even orgasm.... But I did last night, and I have before. She obviously feels me, and knows I'm rubbing on her. She knows my NoFap quest. I'm more into sex than her, especially right now with so many things happening in our circle. She's overwhelmed. I'd like to think that she okay with me getting "something" vs nothing and also not doing MO alone.

In my head I feel like she's my partner. And this is okay and safe - in regard to NoFap. But recently I started to read into the NoFap forums about men using a Fleshlight "toy". I've thought about it. She's not interested in sex as much...would the Fleshlight be okay...etc. In reading up on the many folks who've asked the same question it seems a lot of Fapstronauts are very against it stating that it should be Vagina intercourse or nothing when rebooting. Back to my rubbing...and I doing harm by stimulation of rubbing against my wife, especially when I orgasm?

Looking forward to hearing the group consensus. Thanks.

 

Being able to get control over your addiction means also to learn to say no to certain things! If you get turned on next to your wife but cannot stop, even she said she doesn't want to continue, shows the severity of your issue. Learn to control your needs and learn to accept feeling horny or triggered without acting on it. Building up resilance is most important when fighting an addiction.

I definitly would count it as a relapse, especially if she neglected a sexual act with you beforehand. You simply take what you - or rather your addiction needs. I often see users here that use their "high sex drive" or their libido as an excuse for their failure during reboot. Do not lie to yourself! We are no wild animals that do not have any control over their behaviors. We have a continousness and the power to say YES or NO. The faster you admit your issues to yourself the faster you will make progress in your recovery! Trust me - been there, have done that.

You have a partner and you have regular sex, why would it make any sense for you to get a flashlight? Enjoy the time you have with your wife and besides that stay abstinent! It's the best you can do.