Starting a new life of being a WINNER

Hi everyone,

New to nofap,but very old prey of fap.

I was just a very normal guy some 3-4 years back. The one with the best sense of humor,lots of friends,lovely family.

My life changed when a boy in my class told me about fapping.I never knew about it.
They made my fun and asked me to shake my penis vigorously at home.I went to home and did so,I got a clear liquid out of my penis which I later discovered was semen.

I felt happy to discover a new thing.I spent a lot of time discovering it.I came across porn from the guys at my school.

I was addicted to it which I didn't knew.My life had already changed as I became unaware of my society,loosing my friends,loosing my lovely family.....

But my life really turned around when I was getting ready for school in morning and started fapping nude on bed.

I didn't knew that the door balcony was open through which my dad saw me.

He didn't said me anything but I realised that something was wrong because he was continuously abusing me.

Soon I realised it when my parents were sad with me and my mom was crying(because its a sin in hinduism for bhramins).my parents still had a lot of faith on me and then they accepted my apology(that's how my parents lovely my parents are).

A few days after that incident,I had to go to drop my father somewhere in morning at 4:30 am.I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. It was damn cold outside.I drove back scooter back to my house after dropping my father. I then went to bathroom to get ready for school. When I dropped my shorts, the floor under my feet was shaken when I saw that my penis skin had rolled down and it was hell of a pain.

I didn't knew what to do,I wore my clothes back,and rushed out of bathroom. I asked my mum to take me to hospital immediately. She was not understanding, then I told her what happened.

She took me to hospital as fast as she could.Doctor's there said that I have to go through an operation. My mother was very scared and she was crying and calling my father back to the hospital and my uncle's too..

I noticed that everyone there looked at me like I was a rapist.

Finally I was operated and I came to know that I had paraphymosis (a condition in which the skin of penis rolls down and does not comes back to its original shape).
I knew it wasn't due to fapping
Because from my childhood when was exposed to cold or heights my penis shrunk in fear.

I told my parents and doctor but no one believed it.

After that incident I didn't fapped for 3 months in fear.
But one day I relapsed to the urges and my mom saw me (they all were spying me) and she ordered me to leave the house in the condition I was in.

I left the home crying,and went to nearby park.It was late night at 1:00 am when I was feeling sleepy.I was attacked by some drunk people as they tried to steal my silver chain.

I was tired of running and I realised that I am in a place which I don't know about. I was tired of slapping mosquitoes which very biting me.II was also feeling cold,I noticed how helpless I was.I saw some headlights coming my way from the road ahead.I tried to read the no. And it was indeed 0453 which was the no. Of my uncle's white Audi.I ran to them and was crying and feeling happy too.when i went home, regardless of how bad I was,my dad locked me in his arms giving me a tight hug because they feared for me.

I felt ashamed. I stopped fapping but it is never gonna leave me.I tired every method from cold showers to meditation(in which I am already good at) but nothing helped me.

I took help of internet and read so called "€asy methods" which in last insisted me to buy book and audio etc.

Finally I found this website,made by a selfless man,I read some amazing articles here.

It helped me but I could not control my sexual energy after 7 days of no fapping.

I then finally registered here and typed my longest text(after which II am feeling better). I am feeling sad as I cannot donate some money to Alexander. I don't earn yet.but I promise my first earning will surely go to Alexander sir.

I really want some serious help from you people as I am ready to take on any challenge but I want to know how to"harvest my sexual energy".

Thanks for reading such a long post. I am really sorry if my poor English offended you anywhere.

Today is a very special day,its the birthday of my late grandfather. I loved him a lot and was with him in his last moments.I feel guilty to fap today,that is why I registered here so I could really start a new life like a winner on such a great day of my life.

-Eshaan

 

Thanks for the wishes JTT...it will be nice if you could join me on my reebot thread which i made just now!!!!

 

Yes, I Will K.O. fap out of my life #Thejourneybegins...

 

You can post your suggestions to help me out @JTT....

 

Thanks @gabriel,

My real problem is that I go in autopilot mode after 2-3 days of my challenge of NoFap

One of the best suggestions I got till now,thanks Gabriel brother

 

Yes, I Will K.O. fap out of my life#Thejourneybegins...

@ Gabriel pl. Help me out there also as I will be posting my daily problems there.