I started this account when i was 28, now i'm go to be 30 in few weeks. I feel good to come back...even though i failed to stop PMO ....i think this is the time to start again..because..its never late I'm single...i want to have normal life interacting with friends/people...sharing things and all...and when i get married i want to have a healthy relationship with my wife. may be i'm not using this forum properly...that's why i made my plan 1. Updating everyday what ever i do...my feelings and all 2. Write a summary of my bible reading/sermon that i go through [ If possible ill plan to write my prayer here (because i plan but fail to pray, may be writing my player will help me)]
Make sure you implement changes to your environment. Whatever you used to use to relapse needs to be far away from easy access. Don't bring your phone and computer into situations that will easily trigger you. This is mostly an internet-smartphone-computer addiction. So you should regulate your time and usage of devices, keep them in communal areas, don't be alone with the door closed, etc. And spend as much time with your wife, friends and family as possible. You might find these social activities extremely boring at first, but that's part of recovery. Your effort means a lot spiritually and also spells the regrowth of the grey and white matter in your brain.
Its been 25 hrs..after i planned...the day was ok....heard bible messageon "Giving first preference to god and believing in god, but should do what we need to do..instead of lying on our bed and watch god win the war (2 chronicles)" .In my case its porn/sex chat addiction. I stopped my bible reading and prayer life long back...but i know i need to start again..sometimes i feel guilty of what i do..fell bad to go back to god...but i don't have any choice now...and non of my friends help me come out of this..because...some say its common these days to full fill our body needs..and some laugh at me as though they don't watch or do bad things...and the internet is full of bad stuff which trigger my mind. I did my study for 3.30 hrs...which is not sufficient when preparing for govt job and need to increase time. had small talks with family (i stay with my family have separate room and im going to keep the door open all the time)...and finally YouTube.com (which i want to stop using as much as possible)... i went through news...some discoveries ....and slowly into other stuff of actress (may be for 1 hr) which i kept skipping every video (thinking what i'm going to write in this daily report of mine...) and controlled touching myself...which i did i even had a thought to skip the plan and watch or have sex chats and do my usual M, but all these days i did that and skipped each and everyday...and failed...i don't want to fail again after that i watched movie "inception" and had phone calls with my friends about future plans. I feel good after 1 day..updating what i did...with out hiding that's it, have a great day
2nd day was a little bad... done some study for 1.5 hours that's it....did not concentrate much may be because i changed my sleeping time 3 days back.. night 10:30 pm to mrng 5:30 (previously 3 am to 11 am) Awake during night times will make your mind goes crazy for PMO. ..my mind used to spin around P most of the time.. even though i studied for some part of the time...(which is a very bad combination) now sleeping early ..and getting up early is actually good Most of the time my mind was thinking about P/ some dirty chats and wanting me to go around....it was soo bad that i took my phone to bathroom .but realized i was doing wrong and came out immediately(it was a tough decision to stop yourself from what yourbody want the most) i even stopped sleeping during afternoon( small naps).. if i sleep ill wake up during night and again may go back to PMO today im planning to study more time.... I know its tough to stop what your body wants..but its not impossible...we need to have will bible message that i heard was about gods love and wath he planned for us...why we need god...how we need to depend on him and for what...most of us do business with god without love in it (if you give me that - i will stop this... kind of things)...but god does not want it, believe and give first preference and he will be with you through ur tough times)
3rd day.....to be frank i'm not well right now...fever, cough and cold i was just lying on bed and sometimes listening to classes on my laptop. even though not well..i felt pull towards hot pics or chats..but did not do....may be because i felt i need rest not PMO the bible message is that we need to wait on god...for the answers of our prayers...because he is in control and he know s better when to provide ans / relief to our problems....waiting on god is good....the long he kepts you waiting ..more good is going to happen....i fell its the time of transformation thats all for today
Stay strong. PMO can be a way to distract from pain and discomfort, which is why sometimes the mind seeks it out. But there are better outlets!
i missed one day....today its day 5.....im fine fever ..cough gone, just little cold listening to online classes, bible messages...having chat with family... still not in the habit of reading bible daily or praying, may be i need to start bible study plan sometimes mind gets diverted (thinking about videos, chats and all) but not very much interested now.....may be this is the time i need to be strong. but i have to be true i'm getting hot dreams like doing romance and kissing strangers kind of, may be beacuse of the past fantasies hot stories, i know if i concentrate on what i need to do in life, i'll reduce all these kind of stuff ill plan my day from now....(past 5 days im sleeping by 10:30pm...it feels good), now i need to plan what all i need to do day time If you guys what to stop PMO first thing is sleep by 10 pm (don't stay awake during night) any way that's all for today
on day 6, i relapsed, i did not sleep the previous night till 1 am (went through youtube for dirty stuff, but could not do it) and next day i did not even go through any bible message, and i took my phone to bathroom and did it. my next rule should be ..no phone to bathroom but i studied for 4-5 hrs, that was good, played pubg for 2 hrs and then uninstalled hoping to not play for next 2 mnths not much to say about the day, thats it
Hey man, don't ever forget that God is there for you, He is there to forgive you, but you must ask forgiveness and accept it. He shed His blood on the cross so that all sins would be forgiven. I will be honest with you, I am on day 22 and I only made it this far because of Him, I asked fo forgiveness, accepted it, and pray everyday for Him to be with me and help me.
Good point about socializing sometimes being boring, but it being part of recovery. I don’t really socialize, and now with covid may not be a good time to socialize, but that’s the next thing I’m going to add to my recovery. Get out and be more social (in covid acceptable ways).
As of this post, I see you’re still at zero days. I’ve had basically no urges in the last 2 straight weeks and I’ll tell you why that is. Wait for it, this will blow your mind: I don’t think about anything sex, pmo related. And if I find my mind is slipping a little about wanting to go down that dirty rabbit hole, I just quickly give myself a mental bitch slap, and the thoughts go away and I get on with my day. What a concept, huh? Don’t think about something and it doesn’t exist anymore: at least as far as the mind is concerned, and being that urges come from the mind; quit thinking about it and it won’t matter how late you stay up, or this or that, you just won’t have urges. SIDE NOTE: because your mind is like a spinning hamster wheel with porn momentum right now, it will take a little practice to slow that hamster wheel down to get your porn related thoughts under control. Mind you, I didn’t say my mind doesn’t wander 100 mph thinking about other stuff; because it does. My mind is horribly out of control when it comes to thinking about stuff. I just said that I am currently very good about not thinking about sex pmo related stuff. Just get that pmo sex thinking under control and you will be surprised at how easy it is to suddenly put together weeks of being clean.
relapsed after 1 week again.......had bad week...different types of thoughts...family issues and alll...i will update daily from tomorrow ....going through bible message right now thank you all for ur replies guys....i though no one is going to read or advice me...thanks to magnamonium and boyrose for replying me...and letting me know that i'm not the only one who is fighting....
hi... from 2 days im having urges but trying to control myself, blocked youtube and other websites using qustodio, gave my id to my friend to check my usage. i stated listening to worship songs in spotify, but still did not start a daily routine to read bible....some days reading ...some days forgetting, i have a ques - what is worship? how do we worship? (heard from bishop t d jakes about importance of worship, but did not actually did not understand it) doing good with my studies, not diverting myself away from it.
