Starting dating

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Hardmode-Monk, Nov 26, 2018.

  1. Hardmode-Monk

    Hardmode-Monk Fapstronaut

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    I am thinking about dating. I am 22 and I haven't dated before. I have no idea what to do. I keep hearing that I should go to clubs and meet women. The issue is that I am introverted and I can't dance. I can't imagine the girls will be turned on by that.

    In person I have no idea how to approach. I tried the cold approach and she passively said she had to go. She then cirlcled the room and sat next to an athlete. I mostly don't do the cold approach becasue i dont feel like putting up with a woman in a bad mood.

    Online I have no luck.

    So yeah. I spend all of my time studing, practicing, reading, and working. The path I am on has no girls on it. I do need to invest time in all of the activities I mentioned a second ago but still no girls seem to want me and I am tired of waiting.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 21, 2018
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    So you're not doing anything that involves meeting women and you wonder why you don't meet any women?

    The difference between approaching someone you find difficult to approach as opposed to someone you can approach easily is that you're overly concerned about the outcome and you feel that what you normally do or say isn't good enough to get that outcome.
     
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  3. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    I wrote this post a while back. https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...-to-find-the-right-woman.159639/#post-1342540
    U can scroll to the lower part of the post on where to meet women.

    Consider when u say girls ur speaking about half of humanity. There is almost no path ur on that does not include em. The question is the type of women ur interested in. Once u specify who or what type ur interested ... then u can figure out how to approach that person as women are individuals and there is not one specific approach strategy but u can boil it down to probabilities then give it ur earnest best.

    So what kind of woman would u like to meet and what role do u want her to play in ur life? Is it for intimacy ? sex? companionship? Ur introverted does that mean u dont want to be forced to go out much? U sound busy so that means she is going to have to deal with that busyness and u will have to make time for her. What kind of woman would u actually want to make time for?
     
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  4. Hardmode-Monk

    Hardmode-Monk Fapstronaut

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    Everytime I talk to people in general I don't feel comfortable. I even find myself not wanting to socialize.
     
  5. Hardmode-Monk

    Hardmode-Monk Fapstronaut

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    My type is anyone who would have me. Beggars can't be choosers.
     
  6. Hardmode-Monk

    Hardmode-Monk Fapstronaut

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    I also need to get good grades and graduate. I am beginning to feel like friends and women are in themselves a full time job.
     
  7. MetaGame

    MetaGame Fapstronaut

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    Friends and women can be responsibilities but those can come with fulfilling meaning and connections. That is part of why I asked u all those specific questions. Its not supposed to feel like a job but it will if it is the wrong people and scenario.

    Maybe you should start with making friends and hanging out with people more and more before u focus on a gf. Might seem redundant but its likely u will meet someone u like or at the very least figure out what u dont want.
     
  8. SpoonDog

    SpoonDog Fapstronaut

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    As someone who never been able to cold approach women, I have found online is what works for me (albeit it's very hard work). I know from experience people will tell you have to go to pubs / clubs to meet people but it's not for everyone. You've said you've had no luck online but what have you tried? Ultimately whatever your route, the key is to start interacting with women and get that experience under your belt to begin with.
     

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