Starting over

I discovered this site in early September and started a reboot for no M on 9-11. P is not a big issue with me and O is not happening with anyone. It was easy. What's the big deal? I got through blue balls, started to work out, plan my days better, and cut out bad habits. All of this was based on my success with stopping masturbation longer than at any time in my life (going back a long way). There was one moment of temptation but I got through it. I just lay there in bed next to my wife, resisted the old rituals, and fell back asleep.
After 16 days I did masturbate. My attitude was that this was an educational glitch and that I would smoothly incorporate what I'd just learned, keep rebuilding, and march toward 90 days. Then the shit hit the fan and I regressed big time, back to my worst days and beyond. The progress I thought I had made disappeared. Now I realize it may not be easy after all. Maybe that one approaching lapse is a big deal. I'm not interested in seeing how far down I can go. I've got to turn this back around. The purpose of this announcement is to stop the slide and start rebuilding again. This is reboot #2. Hopefully I'll have more to share in the future.
I've had a confusing launch in NoFap. I started as "myrowtohoe" and then, due to my own machinations and a change in username initiated by me, I posted a few times as "longrange." Now I seem to be back to "myrowtohoe" and hope the confusion is over. I appreciate the patience of the NoFap managers. I love this site and plan to continue. Thanks for listening.

 

Thank you Moni and Bob.

Bob, you said, "I've seen a lot of guys that go 15 , 30 days and think one time won't hurt." That was me all right. How could just once be a problem? In those 16 days I thought I had become an expert and would be detached and in control if I beat off just once. Yeah, right. But I never would have believed it if I hadn't experienced the actual miserable outcome. Hopefully that lesson will stick for a while.

Putting up the post about how I'm starting over has calmed me down for the time being. Making a connection with you guys sure beats staying isolated. For me masturbation is all about isolating myself in my own fantasy world and becoming addicted to that way of life. Stopping M hard and long term is a first step that I'm hoping will put me in a position to start to learn how to rebuild my relationship with my wife. I want to read Success Stories to find out about how people take those advanced steps. So it's now October 1 and this is Day 1.