I relapsed. Yes I did. It was kind of intentional but I did not really feel that good afterwards. Right after a 90 days streak I thought to myself that relapsing is an option, because I have no wife/girlfriend/friend with benefits - so, in my opinion, I have to release the pressure from time to time. So I fell back into the old habits for a couple of days, and then I realized, that I actually do not want to be that person anymore. I do not want to fap to porn. I do not want to be socially awkward. I do not want to think of women as objects. So I stopped. It might sound as if I would think about breaking this habit as one of the easiest things ever. But I don't. I just don't want to make up my mind about that stuff anymore. I don't know on which day exactly I fapped for the last time (must have been about 1 month ago; I maybe could figure it out with the help of my calendar on my laptop) and I don't want to count the days. Don't get me wrong: I do not think that counters are useless, I just started a different approach on fighting my addiction. I already started to work out a long time ago. I eat healthy. I have a decent job and I study economics. So I guess I am doing fine. All that is left there for me to do, is keep on going and maybe (when the time is right) to throw myself back out there and find a nice girl to share a part of the way together… Thanks for reading. I wish you all the best.
I have the same exact feeling with looking at pictures, something in me wants to do it, I think its me, but I think its just the past conditioning of the brain. so used to the same habit, tricking you and me into believeing we want to really do it again, I am in the same boat, along with everyone else on here!!!
I have a different approach too, I don't want to stop MO forever, the goal is reducing it considerably and not to waste time looking for P on the net, so if that works for you, not counting the days, you should keep doing it
Thanks, so far it works just fine. But as soon as problems show up, I am going to share them with the community. I may try to not care about the days, but I still think that NoFap is very helpful. How is your reboot so far? Do you think it is difficult to separate P and MO?
@Hampster You are doing very well indeed. And I'm exactly in the same frame of mind as you when it comes to counters. I think they could be of some help in the first stages of recovery, but as time goes and you learn more about rebooting... you sort of realize that counting does not matter. What matters is the change in lifestyle, this is what allows you to reboot. One can't spend his life looking forward to the next goal in terms of fap-free days. The ultimate goal is to kick the habit for life and then counting really becomes meaningless...
It has been difficult, but not INSANELY hard, I just think I need discipline. I used to be addicted to Pepsi too, so one day I said "Fuck it", just one every week", and I haven't failed on that. So yeah, MO without P is possible and is too early for me to say I suceeded, but I'll keep doing my best and I know you'll do it too
Completely agree with this. When I first joined this site I made a big spreadsheet to document how many days it had been. I said to myself, 'just make it to 10 days'. So what happened on the 11th day? I relapsed big time. I've stopped counting now and have made it to 2.5 weeks so far without even being really tempted or noticing how much time has actually gone by.
Exactly, the change in lifestyle is what I am looking for. I think when you are able to fill your day with meaningful tasks, you will not be tempted to do stupid things (e.g. fap or try to numb yourself - like I did). And I have to say it again: this community helps a lot. Just reading all the stories made me realize that I am not alone. And I also get some new ideas (like to take cold showers instead of hot ones - I really started to like them already). Thank you for your positive reply. I wish you all the best.
Thank you. I try to do my best, stay positive and disciplined (which is kind of hard but also fun, when you realize that there is only one way to do things: the right way).
