Guys I just wanted to get this off my chest. I have been suffering from depression and anxiety which is having a disastrous effect on my mental health. I do understand that lots of people suffer from the same thing and I really hope things work out well for them in the future but today I just wanted to talk about my situation as I feel that it's worthwhile to offload what has been going on with me. I'm in my mid 20's and I'm at this stage where I want to get my life sorted. My mum has come from a broken home in which her mum (my nan) has ruined things. My nan ruined her life by making the wrong choices, being chaotic and ruining her life and others around her. She has been divorced, had to move to council houses, dealing with her two children's disabilities (my uncle and aunt who cannot walk after getting into an accident) and not having support from relatives given they tried helping her as much as they can but she didn't listen to their advice. My mum has seen and been through a lot and her trauma had been instilled into me from a young age, telling me about her life story nearly all the time to the point where I can write a book about it. My trauma caused me to have confidence issues during school, not being able to achieve most things given I had a lot of talent in me and been going through a lot of low moods. I would say that things have improved now, I'm in my mid 20's, I managed to get a drivers licence around 2018, I graduated with a Mathematical science degree and made lots of good friends in University. I did have good friends from school and never had issues with others but I felt that I enjoyed University the most since it was very fun. I would say that my mental health caused me to finish education 3 years later compared to the average person in a western country but the main thing I should remember is that I'm still very young and I managed to get there in the end. My diet had always been poor but I managed to sort that out by having an extremely healthy diet as of now, I have been going to the gym regularly and lost 10% body fat in three weeks (I'm naturally a slim guy) and looking to get shredded for the summer. I'm currently looking to get a top job and I feel that I have done the hard work already in terms of my qualifications but it's quite hard to find a job. One bad thing I need to stop is smoking cigarettes, I have been smoking as a result of my mental health and this is one last bad habit I need to quit in hopes of me wanting to improve my life in all aspects. Naturally I am an incredibly ambitious individual with lots of potential in life but my mental health is slowing things down. I have faced a lot of racism and stigma for who I am and the trauma instilled into me has had disastrous effects on my productivity. I feel that I have managed to iron out a lot of bad habits and turned them into good ones but there's still a lot of work to do. I felt like I been held back by family thinking I was not good enough to do certain things but I pushed through and got what I wanted so far. I feel like I'm nearly there but I just want to get a good paying job and continue with gym. I have prioritised self care and I find nofap easy, I relapsed recently because of a certain thing that happened but I'm confident to keep pushing and should have no trouble reaching day 90 as I have done it a few times. I seriously need to get my mental health sorted and to quit smoking, I know this is a huge challenge and I must strive to overcome this all on my own. I was hoping if people could please give me some advice on how to cope well with this condition. My family are aware of my situation and have decided to cut off the negative grandparent for the sake of moving the family forward and for my mental health, her actions have led to a domino effect in which trauma has been passed down to me. I will do whatever it takes to be the best version of myself.