Successful people, can you check my current state..

Hiya,

20 days in doing basically a hard/monk mode and not looked at any p or had p fantasies. Was 3 times a day pmo addicted, some mild pied and had performance anxiety and basically a fear of having sex as its been so long.

I got paranoid week 2 that my junk was never going to work again and attempted a fap during a very emotional period where i was also flatlined, 100% ED over 5 minutes. a day later got some of an erection but was so paranoid.

2 days ago, played with myself as my head is back together, stress free relaxed, thinking of 2 girls I am into in real life that are also into me (at least physically)... hard for 30 minutes, lighter touching, no deathgrip, swapping hands, rubbing top of penis.. no O.. felt like a new man.

This morning, played with myself, stress free relaxed, thinking of 2 girls I am into in real life that are also into me (at least physically)... hard for 1 hour in total, lighter touching, no deathgrip, swapping hands, rubbing top of penis.. no O.. felt amazing.

I feel i'm healing, never had fantasies like that before and never stayed hard like that either ever but I know that I shouldn't be touching or thinking about this at all... so I wanted to know what people that have had success think, should I beat myself up about this or congratulate myself a little.

 

@ GL Lucid
Thanks for the reply.

I've jumped the gun a little bit and think I need to just cool it a bit. I suppose going from a 60% erection for the last couple years to having this crazy big thing ready to rumble has been somewhat overwhelming.

I was so confident I even started looking back on hookup sites.

I hear you about COMPLETE rewiring, its no good just being a few weeks in when a couple more months is at least what I need.

Thanks.