About 1% of people who come to a quitting forum are totally done with their habit. They will work 24 hours a day to fight it. They will read books, and articles, take notes, fill up journals, pray, and no matter how much it takes, they will do it this month. But... most of us make up the 99% for a long time. We try a few new things to fight back, and then try something new when that first thing did not cause a miracle. I am going on vacation for 7 days. This week consider finding 7 new habits that you will implement daily this week (and this year). Do everything and anything it takes to make these new things habits. Even if you fall on the day you do all of them, do all of them the next day. Realize... daily Bible reading is a key to success. And prayer, and turning rapidly from lust etc. But, if you are still part of the 99% almost anything you try will not work at some point. Sure, the verses for quitting will help you fight off temptation real good. But, if you are part of the 99% it will be hard to make doing that a permanent habit. The key point is, believe that your 7 new habits are changing you dramatically. No matter what happens believe that the 7 new habits will change your mind. When I fell my last few times my mind was so changed that I literally thought, “I am ruining my week and probably my month by going back to this garbage.” But I still went back, and I felt really stupid about myself. Consider praying: "Father, show me what You want me to do."
One day at a time is the only way any of us remains free. Each day we pray "give us this day our daily bread." Each day we take up our cross and follow the Lord. And all of us are just a series of bad decisions away from being right back in the pit. We depend each day on his mercy and goodness. Apart from him, we can do nothing. I know this is not what you mean by you post, @timcia , but I just want to state it clearly for anyone new here or new to being a disciple of Christ: There is no elitism in his Kingdom. There is no top "1%" of special holy people or common mass of the "99%" who are still lacking some essential thing. Everyone in the Body has their role to play, and all of its members are valuable and worthy of honor, each one a beloved child of the King, our Father. The disciple who has been committed to the Lord for one day, struggles and all, is as precious to our Master as the lifelong disciple whose struggles are fewer. In fact, the Scripture makes it clear that He will leave behind the 99 who are safe at home with him to venture out and rescue the 1 who has still not made it back! Porn is a horrible plague, and we should indeed go all-in to break free from its captivity. But our efforts alone will never be sufficient to loosen its hold on our hearts. For real heart change to occur, we need God's help. To do what is needed to remain free each day, we need his strength. When our own words fail us in prayer, we need his Spirit to speak for us. Our own effort matters -- and we must commit fully to his program of restoration, without reservation -- but on its own, it is a small, weak thing. If our focus becomes our own righteousness, we have missed the main event. May our attention be fixed on Christ, for salvation is in him alone. One day at a time, each and every day. God bless you and your own efforts on his behalf, friend @timcia ! Enjoy a very well-deserved vacation!
Based on my interactions with people on NoFap who have gone many days without PMO, my view is that the difference between the 1% and the 99% is that they have gone to efforts such as these, and their motivation to do so is Spirit-led. As Tao said, we need The Spirit to change our hearts. Such a change will present itself as the daily fight you describe or similar. Something else they all have in common is complete honesty with themselves... taking a long hard look at themselves and their pasts, taking a holistic view, admitting all weaknesses (not just PMO), and tearing down these barriers so they can put them to God in prayer. For me in particular, one of the most honest things I had to admit to myself was that I didn't really want to give up PMO. All the habits, accountability etc. was just a facade to lie to myself that I was making an effort. Reporting failures every time you give in is not honesty. Admitting you like giving in is honesty. Once I started doing that, things began to change.
The article was for people who don't understand why what they are trying is not an instant cure. To tell them to keep doing solid Christian new habits even when success eludes them. Nothing more, nothing less.
