There was a reason that I stumbled upon an interview with the founder of NoFAP on NPR a couple of months ago, and kept the site up in my favorites while continuing along the cycle of despair. I am BRAND NEW. I have been married for 19 years and although there have been a few bright moments, this cycle has been with me for most of the last 18 years and tainted every relationship and all chances for growth, both financially and personally. Last night my wife came home and I didn't hear her till the doorknob to the office turned and I was at a loss. At all costs I had to stop her from seeing the screen, where I'd been Photoshopping her friends. I held the Mac with the power button down tight and walked backwards till it shut down. Her first words were that she wanted a divorce. Over the last 10 years a similar incident has put me in this same situation 3 or 4 times, but our relationship has lately been at an all time low. Here I am, if I make it through this or not I can't let the remaining years of my life, I'm 55, be filled with self-loathing and regret. Despite all evidence to the contrary, every time I thought was the last time and this time would be different: The biggest cliché, the saddest truth and the biggest lie. If you're out there, I need help. Thank you
That kind of posts give me motivation, courage and determination to stay clean because i dont want experience shiit like you escribed, thank you. You will make it, do everything in your power to change it, there is plenty information on the internet how to break this habbit, peace man.
