The Friend-Zone...

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Daviesmark1, May 9, 2017.

  1. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Ive been talking to this girl where I am staying at my student accommodation for a month. I am 18 and she is 21, I wouldn't usually go for older girls but she doesn't seem that old when talking to her.

    She is Spanish too and acts differently to a lot of girls from uk.

    I have messaging her for a few weeks now, we've meet up to go running a number of times, gone for coffee, meet up to go to the library etc . She keeps messaging me to do all this stuff- a lot of the people in my group thinks she likes me but I'm not sure.

    She asked if she could borrow salt from the other day, I said sure, and she then brought me a bar of chocolate, and she keeps messaging thinks like " you didn't come downstairs for her film last night :( , or are you not coming downstairs later!?"

    I don't know if I am misinterpreting this whole thing and she may only just view me as a friend... But, she's suggested that we go out for a meal like twice now as well. She hasn't been meeting up with the other guys where I'm staying either, only me.

    I have exams coming up atm which need to take priority over her so I said to her I may not be able to meet up much atm- I am going to ask her out for dinner next Friday when I finish though.

    I thought everything was going well.. Until today!

    When I first started texting her , i didn't send any X's and therefore we've been talking for a few weeks without sending any. But I thought I'd try and throw one in for the first time today as my friend who's a girl suggested this is a good way to tell if someone likes you..

    So I tried it today, sent her a message with an x... She replied back without one:/

    I'm presuming this means I am well and truly in the friend zone ?:(
     
  2. Rigel7

    Rigel7 Fapstronaut

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    I'm going to be blunt - how long you stay in the friend zone depends on how long you intend to keep playing games with her. The more "secret challenges" you set in your head for her, like "will she reply with an x to my message?", the longer you will continue to toy with her until she loses interest in you and then you are well and truly just friends.

    I'm sure more guys on this forum would back me up on this, but seriously, stop playing games and go ahead and ask her out.
     
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  3. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Ok, thanks for the advice. I will ask her out (for next Friday) tonight
     
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  4. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    I think she thinks I'm not interested too because she's asking me to the library with her a lot, and I'm not asking her to go with me... But that's not because I don't want to see her, it's because I like studying on my own without distractions
     
  5. Like @Rigel7 said, either commit to asking her out or commit to only seeing her as a friend, don't just linger with your feelings and hope for something. The only person who can put you in the "friend-zone" is you, because it is based on how you perceive your relationship. Hopefully she says yes :)

    And yea, it sounds like she likes you.
     
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  6. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    I never really thought of it that way, but I think you're probably right actually. I've been putting it on hold slightly lately as I have all my exams next week! And all i'm thinking about atm is her and it should be my exams, not her! :/ o_O
     
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  7. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Does anyone have any advice on how to stop thinking about her so I can focus on my exams, whilst at the same time still making it look like i am interested and not just ignoring her while I have exams?
     
  8. Rigel7

    Rigel7 Fapstronaut

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    You do this by asking her out. How does asking her out solve your problems?

    1) If she rejects you, then you don't need to worry about thinking about her anymore. You can move on.

    2) If she accepts, then just explain your situation that you're temporarily in a busy season but want to spend lots of time with her after exams are done. That way, she knows you're interested in her but understands you have your own priorities as well. If she's not willing to let you focus on exams, it's probably not worthwhile dating her because she will hold you back from pursuing your studies effectively, so then you can break up with her.

    Why are you still delaying? Don't get me wrong - I don't want to sound like I'm berating you but I don't think you clearly understand that people do move on if it's taking too long for the other person to make the move. In most societies, this means that guys have to make the move. So hurry up and do something - love isn't going to wait for you.
     
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  9. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    You're right. I think she will say yes, regardless of whether she only likes me as a friend or more, because she's too nice of a person to reject- I think she'd be happy to go as friends even if she doesn't like me like that.

    I'm meeting her soon, so will test my luck. Yeah I know:/ I, quite nervous which I wasn't I haven't made a move properly.

    Considering she's already suggested going out twice I'd say there's a good chance she will accept- hopefully anyway
     
  10. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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  11. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

  12. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Hmmmm. Perhaps
     
  13. Is that the sound of fireworks I hear? Lol :D
     
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  14. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Hahah !:)
     
  15. The Errol

    The Errol Fapstronaut

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    Just don't give a damn about her. Don't complain and just treat her as any other girl. Play with her, mess with her in order to make her laugh, and just act as a man. All depends what you want with her. If you really want some kind of advice (Serious one) look for Zan Perrion and the Ars Amorata community. They usually share interesnting content and they have covered up the friendzone theme.

    Just be a man. Be confident, and try to be more open to your desires towards her. Don't hesitate, neither hide your true feelings. Avoid having a hidden agenda. Just tell her how you feel, and be vulnerable. Don't fear rejection, instead hug it. Therefore you will know what to do. And also, NoFap apply to mental fapping too. Don't overthink about her.

    Good luck! And the odds be with you!
     
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  16. SheMonk

    SheMonk Fapstronaut

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    I personally believe the fear of the dreaded Friend Zone is BS.
    What's so bad about befriending people before you dip your dick?
    If you don't have a foundation of friendship underneath all the romantic and sexual hoo-haa, then once your infatuation dies out, you'll split up, so stop being so afraid of befriending your romantic interest first.
     
  17. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Spanish girls are crazy hot, me gusta. And congrats.
     
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  18. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Good point
     
  19. Daviesmark1

    Daviesmark1 Fapstronaut

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    Indeed hahah! Thanks! She looks about my age, 18/19 which is good too
     
  20. Joe dalton

    Joe dalton Fapstronaut

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    Friendzone them before they friendzone you!

    Sounds funny but try it, when ever i met a new girl i acted like when im alone with my male friends (ofcourse more respect etc) i didnt change the way i am for them.

    Then girls start think why all the boys outside acting diffrent in front of me and you dont? You just stay easy, you just ask if she wants to go out with you like you would ask a homeboy, That makes you special.

    Another thing i did everytime was calling them brother, the girls got crazy about beeing in the friendzone and tryed many things to get out of it.

    Of course only play these games with the right girls..i mean if there is s girl that really wants you and shows you emotions you dont need these games...

    cheers
     

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