The journey begins, my commitments today

I decided to join this forum today as a sort of last hope for myself and possibly for a future. You see my journey has been tough like most. I have been fighting this 'demon' inside me for very long having lost every battle.
Like many guys it all started in high school and has been plaguing me ever since. Every effort I put to stop has failed. From restricting my internet use to even finding a girlfriend and failing in that too.
But is it really a monster? Do I have to keep on fighting? PMO has been a way for me to escape my problems, they say that every habit we develop is to make our life easier but not necessarily better.
Porn has been there through the bad and the good, but mostly when I feel alone and depressed. I guess that what makes it so powerful, a stress reliever that requires nothing of you. I have tried for more than seven years failing every time, I feel I am a failure, an abnormality, an anomaly of nature.
But no, I have my reasons:
1. Love has failed me. For me love has been nothing but pain, I'm not even sure I know what it means. I feel my parents do not really care for me. Sure they may have provided for my basic physical needs, but what about my emotional needs, or just because I am a guy I have no needs? I have never had a girlfriend, every girl I have ever approached in my life has turned me down giving excuses like 'I have a boyfriend', 'I see you as a friend', 'Too busy' but I know there is something wrong with me and I know they know it too. Why don't they just tell me what it is?
2. I am and always have been lonely. I have had nobody, no one who really cared, who really knows me. Many say that I have to give love so as to receive it. I assure you I have. I have showed love, to my family, my friends, crushes and total strangers but I have never gotten any love in return. They all forget me and my phone remains silent for the whole week.
So am I justified? Yes. Will I continue? No. I have to keep fighting at least for a future. I have to prove to myself that maybe I am not a tragic story, I am not a failure. I will stay on the battleground until I win!!

 

Thanks for the encouragement. Really need it, believe me. Its about the third day and I am starting to feel the so called 'Chaser Effect' really bad. Hope I can hold on, this is usually where I give up.