The lie and fantasy of PMO addiction, pt. 2

You know what's the most frustrating thing about recovery? You make the perfect plan including all the healthy things: meditation, exercise, therapy, nutrition, porn blockers. You follow your plan to perfection. But suddenly, you're stuck alone at home for 1 night, your addiction takes over and you relapse. Why is that?

It's because fixing your thoughts is key. Your thoughts are what decides whether you succeed or fail. Nothing matters except your thoughts.

But guess what: if your thoughts can make you fail even while following the perfect success routine, then that means your thoughts can also make you succeed despite everything else failing.

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We already looked at how fantasies and lies about women fuel porn addiction. The lie and fantasy about men is equally harmful.

The lie we accept is that men are victims. Victims of biology, victims of society, victims of seductive women. We have a victimized mentality. It comes through in ideas like, "Men are sexual creatures and think about sex every seven seconds." What a crock. There's no research whatsoever to back that one up.

Or, how about this one? "If women didn't wear such skimpy outfits, men would be able to control ourselves." This one is more dangerous, because it has a grain of truth to it. Yes, women always seem to be pushing the boundaries of how much they can reveal. But that's no excuse for us to roll over and play the victim. We just need more understanding on why they do that. Refer to my previous essay for some thoughts on this.

The funniest one to me is when victimized mentality comes as a scientific theory: "Men's brains are designed by nature to make us impregnate as many women as humanly possible." Yes, of course, it all makes sense now! As a man, it's my biological goal to fertilize the women of all nations and tribes. To spread my seed across the horizon and remake the human race in my image. So until I can do that, I have to sit here in the dark with my wee-wee in my hand. Science!

The "sexual creature" thing is an idea that we accept and put on ourselves, not something real we're born with.

"But wait," you might be saying. "I know how strong my urges really are. Maybe yours aren't that strong, but there's no way to resist MY sexual urges. You can't convince me because I know myself."

Okay, then do me a favor. Load up YouTube and watch some clips from "My Strange Addiction." Listen to people making their case about sucking pacifiers, drinking gasoline, eating drywall, etc. They sound just like you! "I need this." "No one else can understand the pleasure it gives me." "It's just too powerful to resist." Etc.

After a few of those, you'll be ready to shake those women by the shoulders and scream, "DON'T YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO EAT F#&@ING PEN CAPS!?" I rest my case.

Now that we've dealt with the lie, what is the fantasy? The fantasy is high-class, instant, limitless sex. The idea that for men of a certain social class, sex comes easy and with no strings attached. Women just fling themselves at you and you can enjoy them however you want.

In what universe do people with no self-control lead a good life? Everyone on this forum knows the end result. I don't have to spell it out. Yet somehow we still believe that for certain men, it all works out. Who are these men, though?

The free sex fantasy has a dark history. It was carefully constructed over many years. Whether there was a conspiracy behind it, or just the hard work of one sick bastard, I can't say. Maybe I'll explore that history in another essay.

But porn addiction can only work if the whole truth is kept secret. They didn't show our uncles and fathers the drugs and network of tunnels underneath the Playboy Mansion. And they don't show us all the underpaid male pornstars who can't get it up anymore, or all the female pornstars who committed suicide. That would ruin the fun, wouldn't it?

That's why they keep pumping out free porn clips. The free clips load the fantasy in your mind, and the fantasy is what fuels the whole business.

We all know that, deep down, the consequence-free sex we're yearning for just doesn't exist. It's all someone's fantasy-land that we've come to accept as our own. And they've gotten rich selling it to us. But what good has it done for you?

I say it's time to leave Disneyland for the children and face reality.

 

It does seem that way. But more likely they were just swept up in something they didn't fully understand. Many of them still don't.

The point I'm making is that this fantasy did not come naturally to us. It was constructed carefully, brick by brick, by someone else. Wait til you read pt. 3

 

Here it is @Shane Smyth
https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/the-lie-and-fantasy-of-porn.334980/#post-3394243

 

@Exit To Freedom I find best is to decide which thoughts you will accept and which you won't. And deal with the intrusive thoughts the moment they appear- that way they don't come back so often.