The Power of Leverage

Some great nuggets in this article from Anthony Robbins

https://www.tonyrobbins.com/resources/pdfs/The-Power-of-Leverage.pdf

 

I've sort of been applying the pain and pleasure concept, and it seems to be making it easier.

First: I think A LOT about what PMO has cost me. The goal is to have it sink into my sub-conscious, so I can associate PMO with pain, and not the short term feeling of pleasure.

Second: I have tried a few strategies that could be called "Aversion Therapy", associating immediate pain as soon as a fantasy emerges. I wanted to come up with something that essentially SCARES my subconscious so it runs away from porn. Almost like when I rat pulls a lever and he learns that he gets an electric shock.... he doesn't like the feeling, so he stops pulling the lever.

When a porn fantasy emerges, I tried to divert to several unpleasant thoughts, and I settled on the following.

When the 1st image appears in my mind of a porn scene, or some online dominatrix that I was addicted:

1. I picture myself being taken over by a dark evil cloud. Almost like the spider man movie where the dark substance was taking him over. Kind of scary and not pleasant.
2. I picture myself slapping away the dark cloud, and being terrified of the darkness.
3. I create a panicky feeling, almost like what you would if a cock roach fell inside your shirt. You would frantically try to get the hell away. You would be running around the house screaming...."Aaaaah, get off me!"

So.... I am trying to train my subconscious that it will NOT get pleasant feelings from bringing up images of porn into my conscious. So like the rat, it will learn that pulling that lever leads to pain.

Then .... I divert my mind to images of me and my wife being super happy. I smile and try to FEEL love and happiness.

Sort of the carrot and stick routine.

I have some to the conclusion that it is almost impossible to over-power your subconscious. So I am attempting to retrain it.

I am the Dog Whisperer..... and my subconscious is a really really bad dog, that just need to be retrained

 

Yeah. I agree.

I tried the mindfulness concept of just "watching" thoughts, but not getting involved. This actually works fine for things like anger, and other emotions. I have used this concept quite well to catch myself in other negative mental states and just let them go.

But I think the urge for porn is too strong. When I tried to just hold the thought, but not react, it doesn't seem to work. Often just holding the thought lets it build. I can't just "let it go" like I can with anger.

And trying thought suppression made things MUCH worse.

Thought diversion worked ok, but sometimes the pull to porn was so strong, I couldn't keep my mind on the thing I was trying to divert TO.

But my new technique is working better. I am basically making it unpleasant for my brain when it deliver the thought of porn. So rather than divert away from something that is pleasurable, and I making it painful for my brain when it delivers the thought of porn.

Basically, I am trying to train my brain to run away from fantasies, by making it feel fear whenever a fantasy starts....rather than pleasure

 

Mindfulness is a 24/7 thing. You don't need to be actively meditating to be mindful. Meditation, especially the Vippasana practice, is intended to used outside of a seated practice.

The idea is to ALWAYS be mindful. It helps you get good at catching negatives thoughts and impulses.

The seated practice of meditation is really just training for daily life away from the meditation cushion.