The reason why you should masturbate

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by StreetLight, Jun 15, 2016.

  1. StreetLight

    StreetLight Fapstronaut

    Yes I do mean it. This is not a troll. And for all those people with significant streaks and have had success who might now think `Well this dude is telling to masturbate... Why don't I try?´ No. Don't. Don't do it. And if you do, don't blame me for it. It's not my fault, and you are the only one responsible for your actions.

    I'm writing this post, because I feel there are a lot of people out there having an extreme attitude towards masturbation and I believe there are good reasons to do it. But, before I tell you, let me reiterate some reasons why you should NOT masturbate:
    • It may hinder you in your long term reboot.
    • You won't experience the tremendous benefits that come with abstinence.
    Again: If you're goal right now is to not masturbate, then don't do it. By the way, I myself am currently abstaining from masturbation, but I've taken my own advice I'm about to give you in the past, so I know what I'm talking about. Moving on.

    So then, why the hell would you want to masturbate, given all the reasons against it? Because I feel like a lot of people are failing to get in touch with their own healthy sexuality, which this is all about. Abstaining from orgasm forever is not the solution unless you want to abandon your inner sex drive forever. If you don't want to have sex anytime in your life, go ahead and close this window.

    `But StreetLight´, you might say, `the only healthy way to orgasm is through sex with another woman!´ There is a lot of truth in there, I give you that. But guess what, this isn't going to happen for a lot of us anytime soon. And for some people, at some point the pressure just gets too big. `But StreetLight, I'm doing self development. I'm going to the gym. I get a lot of confidence to talk to girls! I'm working towards getting laid!´ Well, congratulations. Then we're in the same boat, as this is basically what I'm doing right now. However, we are not entitled to have sex. There's two people involved and there's chance involved. That's just not how it works. `So you're saying we should jerk off instead?´ No. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying healthy masturbation is a way to get in touch with one's own sexuality.

    Notice the 'healthy' in there. Because I bet most masturbation people participate in here, especially when they do relapse, is not healthy. Especially when relapsing and people are beating themselves up while they are doing it. Healthy masturbation is not done to escape reality and rush oneself with dopamine. It is done, because we are sexual human beings. Think of it as food. You can eat junk food, or binge because you're frustrated and have a rush filled with instant gratification and regret, which deteriorates your body and your soul. Or, you can eat healthy, when you are hungry and indulge sweets every once in a while, if you stay balanced. You also don't masturbate healthily with porn, because it puts you in a very different state of mind, and I won't argue with that because I can't. Part of developing a healthy sexuality is actually having healthy orgasms. Like you need to have self love in order to receive love from others, it's difficult to receive pleasure from others if you can't receive true pleasure from yourself.

    When you masturbate, it comes from a place of sexual arousal. You take your time, and do what feels right. This is all about feeling yourself. You let go of your thoughts and rationality. Just listen to your body. If you're feeling aroused, you can go with it. If you don't, leave it be. Just go with what feels right and relax. Pay close attention to how it feels down there. In your belly. And wherever else you might feel it. Experiment with yourself, try different things and take your time. Start slooooow. Keep in mind that the journey is the goal. Relearning how to touch yourself requires time.

    When it comes to fantasizing, maybe you're better of not to fantasize in the beginning and to completely focus on the bodily experience. When you feel a little more confident, you can indulge in some fantasizing. Don't 'seek' for the perfect fantasy. Your imagination can be a thriving place of creativity and source of sexual arousal for others. Go with the flow and whatever feels right. The key is to unleash your inner sexuality and let it come to live. You will learn about what arouses you and what makes you tick.

    From my past experience: The feelings and the orgasms are waaaaaay more intense than they ever were with porn. I also learned that I have very different things that get me going, depending on my mood. I actually started with abstaining just from porn for a while before I decided to include MO. It was not only way easier for me, because I could release the pressure from time to time, but I also felt that masturbation could be beneficial for me at times. It helped me relax and have inner peace. More than anything, I learned how stupid porn was in that it actually makes the experience worse. Naturally I tended to masturbate way less when I listened to my body (instead of artificial stimulus) and only did it when I was really in the mood. Of course, after masturbating I felt a little tired and hungry (I don't know if I'm the only one but anyways...) and I still felt good after the orgasm was over. In fact, I had a calmed sensation (a little similiar to that after sex) down there for about a day after I masturbated.

    I hope this was resourceful to some of you, especially if you're struggling getting those longer streaks. You can always step up the game by also quitting MO after you quit P. Please let me know what you think.
  2. Andrew_Andrew

    Andrew_Andrew Fapstronaut

    The point your making is that MO isn't bad by definition. I agree, I think that if we weren't supposed to MO at all, we would have shorter arms.
    I think P is much more harmful and addictive, and it's the reason most of us are here. P is artificial stimulation. I'm not denying that doing MO in excess is a problem too, but it's not the majority, I think.
    The thing is that a lot of us tend to relapse to P during a chaser effect from M. That's why a lot of folks decide to do hard mode. On the other hand I'm curious if abstaining from MO isn't causing flatline and loss in libido. That would be throwing baby with the bathwater.
    I'm trying this approach myself, I stigmatized MO in my head, thinking that it's part of the problem. That lead me to M only with P, which we know isn't healthy. So I'm trying just not to watch P instead of No PMO hard mode. We'll see.
    It would be cool to see some discussion on this, as well as some more scientific approach.
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2016
  3. Rapparee

    Rapparee Guest

    Again I will give my support to this, on NoFap we are all here to tackle our addiction to P but some of us do not have a problem with M and O, I certainly don't and am only going through hard mode because I know my addiction has impacted that much that I need a proper reboot in order to get that stage where I can M and O without being something artificial.
    Again I express my objective opinion that a lot of peoples perception of M & O is determined by ethics and morality. for me this comes from my self rather than an outside element dictating it to me. Also I believe a liberated sexuality is healthy that we mean to explore our bodies but not excess in them, at least in self stimulation that is. If your Ming all day long everyday, for sure it will have jest as damaging affect on you as watching P.
    I agree with you that its where the mind is, the intentions behind M and O.
  4. feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

    A dopamine hit is a dopamine hit. You are still a junkie looking for fake arousal and a hit of dopamine..... and your brain is rationalizing. It's like an alcoholic saying beer is not as bad as vodka.

    The only thing natural is sex between two real people.

    I think it is a bit dangerous to post this on noFAP. People trying to give up PMO don't need to have seeds planted in their head why they should masturbate
  5. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    I think the TE is right. But what definetely has to be said is that, you should not masturbate when you have to arouse yourself through fantasy. Fantasy will be influenced by porn anyway and it will only set you back on the track of porn. IF you masturbate, do it when you feel naturally aroused. If you're on NoFap it'll come by itself. You won't need any artificial stimulation or even fantasy. The sensation is the most important part. This is what NoFappers have their brains get used to. Getting aroused by touch and sensation and not by fantasy. Being in the moment. NoFap never started out as a movement to abolish masturbation but porn. If you don't get rid of your natural urges your body will eventually urge you to watch porn.
    But I would still say that hardcore porn viewers should go hardmode anyway because they associate masturbation with porn and one will lead to the other.
    So step 1 is getting rid of porn and step 2 is getting in touch with your sexuality through masturbation without any kind of artificial stimulation.
    If you don't watch porn you won't masturbate that much anyway because you don't activate the coolidge effect in your brain.
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. i
    I agree 100% and we may even get aroused during the day, though not moing and p all the time, what are we to do with this energy in the places, and even the mind after several days, I am trying to get out of the habit of mo every day, but when I need to release or my mind has a women going crazy in it, I will mo to have relief.
  7. StreetLight

    StreetLight Fapstronaut

    Thank you all for your thoughts on this.

    I'm glad that you give it a try. Please keep us posted on your experiences and findings.

    Hard mode is definitely the stronger form of reboot, no doubt about it. As with everything, moderation and balance is key when it comes to MO.

    The key difference between P and healthy MO is the artificial stimulus that is disconnected from sexual energy. There is a fundamental difference between the two, it's not simply a matter of 'dosage'. A dopamine hit by itself is not problematic, rather it's the behavior associated with that dopamine hit that can be problematic. But I can see that there is a risk of replacing PMO with 'dopamine hit seeking' MO that lacks the benefits that come with healthy MO.

    I think for most people hard mode is the best option and I encourage everyone who chose that path to stay on that path. I chose that path because for me, at the time, the disadvantages of MO outweigh the advantages. However, the advantages should not be disregarded and as I've said, I feel like some people (include myself in the past) benefit from just abstaining from P instead of PMO. In any case, relapses in hard mode do happen and MO is definitely a better option than PMO. Whether or not the 'allowance' of MO leads to more people relapsing is a different question entirely.

    I agree 100%.

    I agree with your perspective. The channeling of sexual energy is the exact reason why I and many others choose not to MO.
  8. Islanders190

    Islanders190 Fapstronaut

    Sounds like a pure addict talking to be honest. It's like an alcoholic whose sober and in recovery says one day he will drink Achohol in moderation because of the health Benifits . But we all know its only a matter of time before the perso n in sobriety returns back do his heavy alcohol Drinking ways .
  9. Islanders190

    Islanders190 Fapstronaut

    Haziam very well said
  10. Islanders190

    Islanders190 Fapstronaut

    Then Make it happen stop making excuses. Instead use that energy of not masterbating and go meet real women. If you believe you can or can't your right either way . Life's to be short to be wasting time
  11. true!
    StreetLight likes this.
  12. yep, I am back to going 90 days with out any m at all, its the only way to get a women friend. then it will force me to be into women and talk with them get deeper into friendships, not talking about sex, till I get married of course.
  13. yeprussell

    yeprussell Fapstronaut

    I find this to be one of the much more interesting threads I have come across on here.
  14. TheWannabe

    TheWannabe Fapstronaut

    Hmm. I can't say I agree with everything you said, but you've raised some very interesting points that made me think a little.

    I will personally pass, mostly because at the stage I myself am at, it would be more destructive to even try screwing myself. My sex-starved brain would start seeking images, fantasies, or even actual pr0n to amplify the pleasure partway in. In general, somebody trying to break the addiction probably shouldn't engage in it.

    However, the rest of your logic is actually quite sound.
  15. GNerd2012

    GNerd2012 New Fapstronaut

    Great post brother, I most definitely agree. I am currently doing no PMO, but this is only temporary. I want to MO in the future, when I know I can trust myself to have control over my own urges, and act on them responsibly. I don't agree with other NoFappers who demonize male sexuality as something destructive and evil. Yes, it can be dangerous when not controlled by the conscious mind; however, it's not something to be ignored and ashamed of. I like how you compared sexuality to eating (both within the Root Chakra of spirituality). It's similar to how I view it. The way spiritual people have times of fasting (NOFap/PMO), there are also times where you need to eat.
  16. feo1966

    feo1966 Fapstronaut

    Why? Why on earth?

    Save your sexual energy for real women. Jesus! It is like a junkie saying "my long term goal is to switch from crack to pot".

    There is only one reason why male sexual desire exists....and that is to motivate you to place your penis inside a woman....that's it.

    Anything else is a perversion of whats natural and you are no better than a dog humping a leg.
  17. Why waste time asking, lol? I just couldn't believe my eyes at this thread, had to come and reassure myself there are similar minds as me here, there are.

    Whew, logic like this is dangerous for recovery.

    Now if I may share a tidbit from another post:

    Here are some of the harmful effects of masturbation
    to be considered, kindly read and stop doing masturbation
    once again. Make your impression in the comments.

    1. Masturbation makes you weak, it spends more
    energy and burns your calorie
    2. Masturbation creates nervousness and neurological
    3. Masturbation is a main cause for erectile
    4. Masturbation addicts you even if you taste it for one
    time. Controlling it is a very big menace.
    5. Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be
    sleeping most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm.
    You will experience a damn tired.
    6. Masturbation causes stress and strain in your mind
    and soul.
    7. Masturbation also affects us psychologically; it
    creates depression after ejaculation and makes one to feel
    bad on his own.
    8. Getting red hot while masturbating will give a bad
    name in your surroundings and it is indecent too.
    9. Masturbation cannot be done simply, it needs to see,
    touch, indulge or at least think of a sexual practice/ sex
    organs of the opposite sex. This is more harmful that the
    image in your memory that you see could not be erased
    easily. This will lead you to a noxious problem that you
    cannot see any girl/ lady/ women without a single thought
    i.e., sex.
    10. Masturbation creates an urge to do indefinitely; it
    doesn’t see the place, people and culture. It makes you to
    fell in a worse sexual problem if chance knocks the door.
    11. Masturbation leads you to illegal contacts because the
    urge increases day by day and finally will lead to the search
    of a source for sexual pleasure.
    12. Masturbation is the main reason for speedy sperm
    release during sexual intercourse. It will create
    dissatisfaction to you and to your wife.
    13. Over masturbation reduces your sperm count. Couples
    who desire to get pregnant should not masturbate.
    14. Seminal fluid that gets released on masturbation
    contains proteins that are needed for many metabolic
    activities and cell formations. Proteins are the building
    blocks of our body; ejaculation often will create you to be
    lean and distracts your metabolism of muscle building.
    15. Ethically masturbation is wrong; you think of X/Y and
    do sex of your own. This hinders your values and respect
    on others. May be you are good in all other regard but will
    end up in a great problem if not concerned to stop this
    16. Masturbation wastes your time and makes you
    17. The pleasure of masturbation never lasts for a long
    18. Masturbation creates more problems as you lose your
    memory and thought provoking ability.
    19. Masturbation is not the end for your desire; you may
    be fooled by your own practice. It will never give you a
    solution or a satisfaction but seems that it gives.
    20. It is not needed in any way to your sexual life that it
    has to be practiced without fail.
    21. Guys who masturbate will lose interest in sex with
    their wife very soon. They can’t feel pleasurable for a long
    22. Masturbation induces homosexuals in schools,
    colleges and hostels. Many times the latter creates sexually
    transmitted diseases like VD, syphilis, AIDS etc.

    And if you still think masturbation is 'normal' or 'healthy', 3 links I shared in another thread and a book that every boy should have read before Kinsey research warped the minds of most of the mass media controlled Western world:

    When A Boy Becomes A Man
    Ghost79, feo1966 and Deleted Account like this.
  18. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

    I agree that for a single young man, its hard not to masturbate.
    But I feel like I overdone it as a teen. That contributed to my usage of porn.
    Also, I ended up with PIED. I kept fantasizing and watching porn to release my seeds. I stayed up late to release, making me more tired.
    I decided to stop masturbation, along with stopping to watch porn, to reduce the amount of CHASER effect occurances.

    Of course, its all easy to say, as I have real sex with the wife.
    Again, I feel for the single guys. But you folks know that its like walking on be careful!
  19. Red Eagle

    Red Eagle Fapstronaut

    Dude, do you even get what you're saying? The reason why I stayed away from for a time is because of religious lunatics like you who think masturbation is a practice of the devil or something. Masturbation in itself is not ethically wrong. Nobody gets hurt, one person feels pleasure and relaxed after the act. Masturbating without the thought of anyone and just focusing on the sensation is much better anyway and you'll feel more satisfied. The problem is porn and not the act itself. While I agree that overmasturbation is unhealthy I don't see the damage in doing it now and then. If you are busy with your life you won't have the urge to masturbate that much anyway. The coolidge effect gets triggered by porn and not by masturbation. The reason why I think masturbation can be beneficial is because it can teach your body to get aroused by touch. If you fantasize all the time during M, sure you set yourself back. In this day and age our fantasies will be influenced by porn so I recommend staying away from fantasy. It's better to just M then to let all the sexual tension build up and watch P. That was the case for me sometimes.

    And to point 22. Shame on you for writing something as stupid as this. Really I'd feel embarassed for writing this. M won't turn you gay. Being gay is completely natural and there is nothing wrong with it. How is it supposed to turn a teen gay anyway? Just religious nonsense.
    And even if it was right, we should then encourage teens to masturbate, so they will turn gay so we can stop the over population problem.

    I'm really thinking of leaving the Nofap forums behind. NoFap seems to attract to many extremists in many ways.

    My tip guys is find out what works for you. Don't follow blindly, like stupid sheep, what others say. Many ways lead to rome. If you struggle with P addiction even though you used the advice on this site, then maybe the advice here is shit. Find your way out of P addiction and don't let others influence you too much with their extremist ways.

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