the story to inspire you to change,to all my brothers here

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Thrices, Aug 1, 2016.

  1. Thrices

    Thrices Fapstronaut

    i write this being quite emotional,with a sad song playing in my mind
    im going to share my story of defeat,i ws born in northern india,my dad ws a boxer so he put me to play criclet,i loved ws a new life to me,i thought if i can pull this,id be a great personality.3 years in,i became one of the best fr my age their was,my coach said ud represent india smtime in the future,but smtimes love brings curse,my fellow player once brought to the park a book,full of nude images,i didnt knw wt it ws,tryna act like a friend and a man,i sat with him looking at thm.i payed absolutely no attention to the ws only fr my friend's company.anyways,later,another friend of mine took me to a cafe,he took a seat in a corner ,seat for two,he started surfing porno,showing me sm nude pictures.i thought thts wt boys do,i shld like it.alright,my mom didnt let me go wth him again,she thought he wsnt a good guy.

    i wld cm frm school ,in washroom one day,jst accidently,felt smthng in my private part,ofcaurse started rubbing it,had no idea wt tht white stuff do it everyday after school,stamina?1/2 hour and i wldnt cum.later,we bought a computr,i being an aggressive teen in 14's already about 6 feet tall.i typed sm dirty things,and started enjoyin my cricket ws going good but suddenly abt 6 mnths in,i started feeling not to play cricket,like too sensitive,no more the strengh or power to bowl at 80kmph,pretty fast fr my age.trials came in ,and i gave up cricket,got too nervous,coach critisised me,my dad did,they had no idea why i wld pull out at the time most important.i started not going to park anymore,feeling weak and dad wld forcefully drive me to the park where i wld spend my next 2-3 hours with no focus or desire,i cld see myself feel skinny and fellow players went on to play districts,and in abt 3 mnths i gave up totally wth the excuse tht i ws having hard time studying,it ws a lie to keep at home.

    years in and i kept doin it thinkin it ws ok,although i wld feel so very weak after classmates at school wld say its ok to do it tht they do it too.i increased on the stuff...years passed and im in high school,in to boys,grown up,and im a skinny but tall basturd,verbally bullied everyday,i got social anxiety,everyday school became a struggle,i became stupid,more stupid.

    i grew my passion fr wrestling,and into college,but i gave trials for cricket where i sucked now,ofcaurse i failed.for wrestling i cld do nthn coz i had not enough guts to go to the nearby wrestlin i am sitting in my room,typing all this stuff of how i destroyed myself,how i turned into a pussy,my dad thinks im a coward,he dsnt understand social anxiety,my mom's no more,my younger brother thinks i job ,nothing,i dnt evn go out of my house a single minute somedays....if smone of u,is smwhere in earlier stage,improve,try,work hard but improve,im starting my journey nw to a better me.we all will... thanks im goin to maybe canada this year fr exposing myself into the world to help me improve.i got on heavy medication after i destroyed my penile nerves and muscles as i faced many problems,im ok now,best of luck to u all,masturbation or porn is not natural,its the curse of technology with all its dsnt make u tht weak or tired,try it out its way better thn rubbing urself virtually like sm animal and a well my day 1 to improvement after sm relapses,bt they r a part of trying to improve
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. LongWayHome

    LongWayHome Fapstronaut

    It's sorry for me to knew, that you're going through many bad things in life. I hope you can learn from them and grow stronger every day.
    Please, take your time and do not throw yourself at the deep end. Think again about fighting your social anxiety with going to Canada.
    I fought it with going out every weekend, just to ask random people directions where to go to central station or main building in my city. Sometimes I chit-chat with people and after few weeks my social anxiety was the least problem for me. Going out with dog is awesome too! You will meet really good people and think of yourself as a human - not animal anymore.
    Take this "sunny" from your nickname and put it in your reality. Let it shine stronger and make your days brighter.
    Stay strong brother in India.
    marcpro likes this.
  3. Thrices

    Thrices Fapstronaut

    hey thanks,actually here in india its very difficult to do coz people are way too rude,stare too much and its not safe to leave home ,especially cousin lives in modesto,u.s.a and he advised me to go abroad fr the reason tht thr's better people,better environment,its mainly coz of study.but ill think abt it.thanks again.its actually too many people here they dont let u live.atleast with peace
    Lucky1 likes this.

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