The Three-Step Model for Overcoming Addiction

This post is a copy+paste of one of my comments on another thread, but I thought I would re-publish it here so more people can see it. This is the most straightforward and easy to use guide I have written. Enjoy.

The Three-Step Model for Overcoming Addiction


Explaining Addiction​

Addictions take over because they pretend to satisfy some unmet needs by giving us dopamine when we feel bad. The brain of an addict realizes that it is easier to just get the dopamine than to deal with the problems directly. This creates a dependency relationship, and eventually our behavior becomes impulsive. We teach ourselves to instinctively act on our urges in order to make our negative feelings go away. In order to resolve the addictive behavior, it needs to be replaced with healthy activities which actually satisfy our needs. I am not being specific when I say "needs" because they are different for everyone. You must determine what it is that you are using PMO to cope with. This leads us to the first step of addiction recovery: self-awareness.

The Three Basic Steps of Recovery​

My simplest and most recent model for recovering from addictions is summarized with the following three steps. Each step will be explained in the proceeding paragraphs.

1. Self-awareness----------
2. Reasonable goal-setting
3. Positive habit-building--​

Self-awareness​

Take as much time as you need to reflect on your situation. Why are you unhappy? What would you like to be different? What are you using addiction to cope with? Though this is the first step, you should be engaging in these thought patterns throughout the reboot process. You need to learn as much about yourself as possible. I recommend that you spend a few minutes every day to just pause and think about your life. And I highly encourage everyone to write their thoughts down somewhere.

Reasonable Goal-setting​

Once you have answers to some of the questions you asked yourself in step 1, you should have a general idea of what you would like to change within your life. Now it's time to make a plan for how to change. Start with some basic, non-specific goals. "I want to stop watching porn." "I would like to have a better routine." "I need better ways of dealing with stress." It shouldn't take long to make this list; you will probably have a good idea of your goals without thinking, but you should still list them out anyway.

Your next step is to list out the specific steps you will take in order to meet these goals. Here is an example of a specific step: "From now on, when I get an urge I will take three deep breaths." Make as many steps as you need in order to meet all of your goals. Then put these steps together to form an action plan. This phase is where you will spend the most time, and will probably make the most miscalculations. It is possible to be too lenient with yourself, but it is also possible to be too strict. This is where the "reasonable" part comes in. The action plan you create should let you accomplish your goals, but it should also be relatively easy to commit to. It is okay if you need to add or remove some steps, or rebuild the plan entirely. Do not feel guilty about making it easier, but do not be afraid to challenge yourself.

Positive Habit-building​

This is the easiest step because a solid plan should create positive habits automatically. Once you have your action plan, you will need to follow through with it. It will seem overwhelming to change your life in such a large way. We all fear change - this is why we stay addicted despite the negative consequences. (And yes, quitting porn is a massive change for people like us.) But here is what I recommend to overcome this fear. Start with one day. Get a calendar, pick one day, and put an "X" on it. That will be the day where you try out your new plan for the first time. No strings attached - afterwards, you can go back to your bad habits. But at the end of that day, ask yourself: "How did this feel? Was it so bad? Could I do this again?" Hopefully you will feel good about yourself and you will be eager to try following your plan for a second day. If this continues, you will quickly build positive habits.

Conclusion​

This guide does not cover everything you need to know about addiction and recovery - only the basics. There are other important factors you should be aware of, such as having a healthy living environment, building a reliable support network, establishing healthy relationships (and avoiding toxic ones), and dealing with urges properly. I may discuss these in another post. And of course, I always encourage anyone who is struggling to consider psychiatric care. There is no reason to fight this battle alone.


And no matter what happens, congratulate yourself for trying.

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|| __ || - || || || ____ || || - || || __ ||
|+-- ---++++++ ______ | | | | | | | | | | | | ______ ++++++ +|
|- ^ -|-|-| + +--------+ + | _-|- ^^^ -| _-| + +--------+ + |-|-|- ^ -|
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I hope you found this guide to be useful. If you enjoyed reading it, consider looking at some of my other guides below. My next project will be to compile a list of helpful tips for dealing with urges and managing a successful reboot.

Does this describe you? | NoFap®

The Indifference Method (Abridged for Normies, 2021) | NoFap®

 

I would love to make a comprehensive guide that covers every possible aspect of rebooting, but I fear no one would read it. Plus, this whole process is incredibly personal - two people might become addicted for different reasons, and recover for different reasons. And of course, I am still learning (notice my 0-day counter).

That said, I will probably make some more advice-style threads when I have time. Of course, some topics don't need my input, since they have been thoroughly discussed already. PAWS and urges, for example, have some great resources already available. My goal is to just prime the people who haven't thought much about the psychological aspects of addiction and recovery and to get them to start doing some serious self-reflection. Once they are good at that, they will be able to find out more useful information that applies specifically to them.