The Tinder Torture

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Chef Boy, Dec 2, 2017.

  1. Online dating is nonsense. Allready because you actually dont know if she really is that good looking. I dated girls from the net: they all didnt look as good as on the pics. Second: we aint what we write, even when we`re honest, the impression we create isnt the impression we would give if we would be in front of the other.... The competition is artifically higher then in real life. While online dating is supposed to make it "easier" it doesnt: its the oposite cause you have litteraly hundreds that compete with you at the same time. Like in a nightclub, just even worse. Thats why i suggest to approach women at daylight, alone, sober, on the streets: there you can show her how alpha-non-needy-masculine and shit you are, by simply having the balls to do so: cause each women knows that even the biggest loser on earth is able to write a wanna-be-seductive message in the internet. And even the worst looking people is able to make one or two pictures on which they look good. Girls know as well that all those guys in the nightclubs just have a big mouth because of the ten beers in their head and the peer-pressure ("yeah man i`ll totally do her"). So: if you aint really THE man, chances are she either finds you as creepy as the whole rest, or puts you in the friendzone. A good looking girl NEVER EVER needs tinder. Neither a girl without "issues". Girls that are using such shit are either girls with big big problems or not attractive at all. This is - unfortunatley - how it is. Now you can spend your lifetime by waiting for the exception. The cute girl that has no issues that is not a fake account and that wants you and exactly only you. Good luck :p

    PS: for everyone who doesnt understand why girls are as stressy as they are (and oh yes they are) i higly recommend to make yourself a fake account (and if its only on FB). Not even an ambitious one, use pictures of two different girls etc. The creeps dont get it anyway trust me... :D One must see how akward guys act, to understand women.
     
    Chef Boy likes this.
  2. Devil's Details

    Devil's Details Fapstronaut

    185
    117
    43
    If you want to get a decent girl, don't blame the girls for not finding you attractive, go out and become a man decent girls want to be with.
     
  3. Thats the spirit!!!
     
    Truegamer007 likes this.
  4. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    I think some people misunderstood the premise of this topic. I was explaining how tinder rejection can spark depressive and self-defeated thought processes; something that can easily lead to relapse. This was never about unravelling the female psyche.
     
    vibemaker likes this.
  5. Empty Red Cloud

    Empty Red Cloud Fapstronaut

    Why you just spoke the TRUTH, right then?
    Huh?!?
    That whole post was the truth. The muthafucking truth. Forget dating apps. Talk to girls offline.
     
    Last edited: Dec 9, 2017
  6. pira3

    pira3 Fapstronaut

    52
    35
    18
    I don't see tinder so bad like you guys. I mean, if a person just want sex, zero emotion bounds, what's the problem? Good for them, they know that's the place for that. I respect deeply who has a sexual life active like this. That's must be exausting and demands a lot of practice, that I envy someway.

    I know people who uses and are satisfied (mission complete). People who knonw their actual boyfriends/girlfriends too. And if people go there just for physical atributes, that's ok too. Who am I to judge? In 99% of my life, don't eat my lunch for my health, I eat because I want to fill my hungry stomach so hard that I can't barely breath (a little bit of exaggeration here). And this "terrible superficial" interest "some humans" share are in everywhere. If that so, cogitate quitting facebook, instagram and everyone else.

    Afterall, I agree tinder could be devastating for the ones who have a more fragile emotion, sexual issues or any other problems, and I'm including myself here. It's not for me, but I don't believe it's garbage. I'm superficial and exclusivity aesthetic too, if not I would never fall into this deep hole called PMO. I'm Saying this last sentence just for me, of course. Each one take your own conclusions about yourselves.
     
    respektive and Hitto like this.
  7. pira3

    pira3 Fapstronaut

    52
    35
    18
    Everyone have ego, needs attention (at some level). Everyone in some way look for external validation somehow... I don't understand this demonization in tinder and the girls in there.
    This flaws make part in anyone out there, tinder users and no-tinder users. We shouldn't be angry if some people search their pleasure in ways we don't or we can't. Chill out guys, everyone is mediocre in some part.
     
  8. Chef Boy

    Chef Boy Fapstronaut

    No one is demonising the girls on tinder. All I am doing is explaining how their abundance can negatively effect our self esteem and perception of society/our place in it. I understand why they behave the way they do.
     
  9. rikityrik

    rikityrik Fapstronaut

    30
    27
    18
    Mark Manson talks about this in his book Models. I urge everyone to read it, or at least listen to the audio book.

    The book isn't another pick-up related book, but a very honest description of how dating works and how you can get girls in your life.

    And about the rating system, he says that since everyone eventually has a type with regard to what attributes you like in the opposite sex (could be physical attributes, or more innate characteristics like sense of humour, etc.), it is better to "rate" them using binary numbers- 0 and 1. 0 being not my type and 1 being yeah she is my type.

    I totally agree on ditching the conventional rating system as you mentioned in your post because firstly, it is subjective. Your 8 could be my 6 and my 10 could be your 9. Therefore, it is not a consistent model, if we just look at it from a pure analytical perspective. Secondly, rating a girl, especially when you rate her 7 and above, is putting her on a proverbial pedestal sub-consciously, thereby making the whole interaction with her cognitively biased towards what they call the "Halo effect" in social psychology. Look into it if you don't know about it.

    But again, I urge you to read the above-mentioned book to get some insight into how dating should work and how you can improve it for yourself too-by taking action-not through egotistically gratifying realms such as the online dating world.

    PS: Nothing against Tinder. If getting laid is your thing, and you want to do it through Tinder, go for it. I strongly believe though that I am not going to find a high-quality girl I want to date or have a potential relationship with on that platform.
     
    vibemaker likes this.
  10. pira3

    pira3 Fapstronaut

    52
    35
    18
    @Chef Boy I agree and I reiterate this point in my first post.
    My opinion was about the others posts.
     
    Chef Boy likes this.
  11. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    678
    808
    93
    Yeah bro I feel you I'm learning not to judge others and this has helped me cultivate self love
     
  12. Hitto

    Hitto Fapstronaut

    678
    808
    93
    The rating system is terrible and superficial I try to check myself because I feel if I rate others based on looks that only plays off my pmo programming lol but 8 month streak I'm learning to treat everybody the same especially women who are clearly attractive
     
  13. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

    725
    10,071
    123
    My Journal
    Can relate to a lot you say. Thanks for sharing.

    For me the one or two dates I get there once in a while aren't worth all the clicking and negativity on my self-worth. And the biggest turn off is simply that you can't check REAL chemistry there. Even if you like the same things, she's hot and whatever.. her vibe in real life can be a total turn off, cause we're not on the same level.
     
    SanityOverVanity and Chef Boy like this.
  14. Well thanks to you guys i just deleted tinder. Online chats are the worst. The rejection ratio is super high on these apps, 7+ wont reply, u present urself as needy male, girls behave like idiots online and being not nice to you because they can. Offline girls are the best....yet its super hard for me to meet them in normal places.
     
    vibemaker and Chef Boy like this.
  15. rikityrik

    rikityrik Fapstronaut

    30
    27
    18
    Watch this vid bro for some motivation, and start approaching them chicas during the day. Shows balls of steel.

     
    vibemaker likes this.
  16. great vid, yet its just not im afraid - its the fact there is no occassion to meet them. and if so all of them have boyfriend ...... i've tried it aroud 5+ times and everytimr normal girls just have boyfriends.. in normal places
     
  17. rikityrik

    rikityrik Fapstronaut

    30
    27
    18
    It also depends on the approach too bro. Sometimes girls will say they have a boyfriend just to be polite, but yeah it is possible all of the girls you approached actually had bfs.

    Try to work on your body language, tonality, and eye contact man. And more superficial attributes such as style and hygiene can sometimes make a difference too. If you do all that and start approaching girls with a proper stance and intention, you can play the law of averages. Then it is just a matter of approaching girls, and seeing what sticks until you get that first girl who would be interested in you. You just have to trust the process, but also try to hone the aforesaid process as you approach each girl. You'll be smooth af in no time, and approach anxiety would pretty much be a thing of the past for you if you do all this.

    Then you don't have to rely on tinder or any of that bs when you get good at this. Approaching just 5 times won't make you good at it though. It is like a newbie who hits the gym and doesn't see any gains after 5 days. You've got to be consistent and persistent with it all, and then you'll see those "gains", if you will.

    Also, you don't have to necessarily alot a certain time in a day just for pure approaching. You can simply make it part of your daily schedule. For example, when I was in uni, I would approach one girl on my way to the gym, which was a 15 minute walk, and approach a girl on my way back from the gym. You see what I mean? Don't need to chase after them if you can do it as a part of your daily schedule.

    And rejection is part of the game man. I guess the first step always is to feel the rejection so much so that it really depletes the ego that we all have within us. Once that starts eroding, you'll really be able to connect with people in general, let alone girls, in your day-to-day life.
     
  18. Physicist

    Physicist Fapstronaut

    402
    268
    63
    forgot tinder, go out in the real world.

    also if girls have boyfriends, still be genuinely interested and keep talking.

    in a few years when you get really good at social skills, you'll realise a girl will be attracted to you and wont even mention her boyfriend and will still sleep with you.
     
  19. Step-One

    Step-One Fapstronaut

    126
    100
    28
    I never had any luck with Tinder. Seems like it's mostly for really hot people, a way for them to hook-up. Which is fine . . . for them lol :D
     
  20. Truegamer007

    Truegamer007 Fapstronaut

Share This Page