Hello everyone. I go by the username Overman85 and I am a porn addict. I'm 34 years old. I've been addicted to porn since the age of 15. It first began with me watching pornographic movies on VCR. I would cut school and masturbate once or twice a day. Once porntube websites came out around 2006 or so, my addiction escalated. I was unable to hold a regular job throughout most of my 20s due to this addiction. I woke up and went to sleep with porn on the brain. My desire for sex in real life with real women decreased dramatically. I went without sex for years thinking it was normal and healthy to masturbate to porn. One day, maybe around my mid to late 20s, I came across the concept of porn addiction. It never crossed my mind before that my porn use was problematic. If anything it was only a symptom of my virtually nonexistent romantic life in my mind. At this point it became clear that my porn use was a huge reason for why my life was going nowhere fast. I told myself I would quit numerous times and failed. I wrote my relapses off as normal because I didn't have a girlfriend. The truth was I didn't have a girlfriend because I was a porn addict with a fear of intimacy. At age 29 I started working a regular job. A year later I met a 24 year old woman. At first I just looked at her as a sex object. I got the impression that she was down for casual sex but I was wrong. She was very shy when I made my attraction known. I found it very cute and endearing so I continued to pursue. As I got to know her, I realized she had a greater fear of intimacy than myself. Ironically, this along with my deep seeded loneliness made me fall in love with her. Long story short it didn't work out and I was very heartbroken. While I didn't entirely quit porn while dating her, I didn't feel the need to use it as often. After we failed to form a relationship, I began using it more frequently again. Since then it has gotten worse and I have been watching more extreme porn during this lockdown. I've been experiencing PIED and delayed ejaculation more frequently than ever before. On Wednesday I saw a woman I've had sex with on and off for almost two years. I lost my erection while having sex with her. This is the second time its happened where I was unable to get it back up. She told me she's starting to feel inadequate. I confessed to her that I have a porn problem and its gotten worse during this lockdown. She told me I need to reset by not using porn at all and report back to her in two weeks. I can't believe its gotten this bad. I had delayed ejaculation but I never thought I would get PIED. I enjoy having sex with this woman and I have some feelings for her even though we're not exclusive to one another. And I know its not her because this has happened with other women over the last few months. I am now determined more than ever to remove porn from my life. My mental health and sex life depends on it.
Good luck! Make sure you know how and what to change as well as the underlying mechanisms behind your addiction.
Thanks for the replies. I'm really taking this more seriously than ever before after experiencing PIED too many times in the last few months. I am now treating this as a real addiction. Not only will I refrain from watching porn but I am also choosing to refrain from masturbation entirely. I'm looking at this far beyond a 30 or 90 day reboot. This is a long term life decision to stay away from porn, and masturbation in general. From now on the only acceptable way for me to have an orgasm is through sexual intercourse with a real life woman. I'm going to wait at least until next weekend to have sex and see if my sensitivity is returning to normal.
Hey, welcome to the NoFap community : ) It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us! First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you: Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button/ Set up your day counter / Rebooting Resources/ Accountability groups (new!)/ About NoFap/ Support NoFap Here is just some advice: First and foremost please take a careful look at each section in the forum, there may be something(s) you will find to be of big help to you. Secondly I advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then begin posting frequent status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. The forum has got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you support. There’s a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive conversations. It would be great to have you join in and become part of the team! We support others in the threads, profile posts, and journals/reboot logs. Once you receive some support, please be sure and be grateful to the member for the help/support you received and consider giving some in return to anyone you wish. Thirdly, you should highly consider creating a public journal/reboot log (in the appropriate sectionfor you) to write about your days in depth for us members to follow along on your journey and offer support to you on. Please start your journal in the correct section and with that, also try your best to post in the correct sections as it is mandatory and would be helpful to the mods who organize the forum. : ) Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
