This is a first for me

Hi,

I found this site when I searched something like “how to masturbate without porn”, or at least something along those lines.
Like mmost people here, I’ve been watching porn since as long as I can remember. I had the wonderful idea to look up “Britney Spears nude” on the internet after her music videos were on the air all the time and it was downhill since then haha.
I never thought of it as an issue, especially since my high school GF liked it too and we had a very very active sex life together.
FF to life now, I’m married and sneaking porn a couple times a day, usually when I’m on the can, which is pretty gross.
The main reason I want to quit is because my memory has been very troubling for a long time now and it’s impacting my marriage. I smoked a lot of weed for many years until I started my career about 9 years ago, so I always chalked it up to that. But I started thinking maybe it has something to do with the quick stimulation to numb my brain for a few seconds every time I jacked off. After some internet searching, I found that there is some research to back up that theory. So now I’m determine to stop!! I want to improve my memory and not need to lie to my wife when I tell her I remember some detail she brings up. Plus it’s degrading to be sneaking around jacking off in the bathrooms of our home. Pretty lame.

So I’m only on day 5 or so. My main plan was to quit porn, but everyone here seems to be saying to quit masturbating all together. THAT seems daunting. Does no one recommend to just use my imagination once and a while? I could use some background on why I should stop altogether. It literally sounds painful.

Thanks everyone.