ShotDunyun
Fapstronaut
90 days again. I got so cocky for a year, thinking I had PMO figured it out. You cannot tame this habit, you just can't. Even though I wasn't nearly as deep into the habit as in 2016, I lost all my confidence again. The moment I felt awkward with a pharmacy clerk 90-something days ago I knew I was in trouble.
I was afraid that I went the NoFap route, It was going to make work and life in general more difficult. That's exactly what happened, and now I am very proud of myself that I took the hard way and succeded.
I don't feel great yet, but I can see a lot of improvement. Now I want to beat my 200 days last streak, and try to make it a year, I'm very motivated.
I want you to read this and I want you to believe in yourself. I, as well as you, never thought I could make it to 90 days straight without masturbation, porn or orgasms. Just like you, I failed 20 times in a row, but every one of those fails were a small victory as well. Maybe you won´t make it on your first try, but keep trying. It will become easier, just do your best and give everything you've got to stop this habit.
It is not easy. It is a nightmare. It is like slowly walking into the depths of hell, and everyday that passes makes everything worse. You'll feel depressed, disrespected, suicidal, lazy, useless, unattractive, hopeless and a large etcetera. And that may continue for over 90 days.
But Oh Boy. Oh, Oh, Oh boy. One day you'll wake up and realize you dont feel like utter shit, then you'll have to live one month feeling like shit again. But you'll remember that day you didn't fell like that and you'll want to experience it again. And its going to happen more often. And you'll realize why so few people can and are willing to do it. BECAUSE IT IS NOT EASY. Keep this in your mind at all times. What you are doing is a fucking torture, and you are doing this to yourself. It this was easy, EVERYONE would be doing this. Your brain is going to try to convince you that this is not worth it.
But it is, the reward is something that you've always had, but you are just hiding it within you watching porn so often.
I know this is a long post, but fuck it, I will make a list of improvements first. So, if you don't mind:
Confidence : Damn, I dont feel like the Alpha dog yet, but I can see people straight to the eyes, I dont find girls scary, authority figures are equals, I walk straight, and more important I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME. Like that, I know I will never be perfect and I'm a flawed human being, but we are all flawed, so fuck whatever people think about me.
Energy: This is real, dawg. Sometimes I get 4 hours or less of sleep and I fell energized the next day. I work out so hard that I need a couple of hours to recover. I feel the need to work out, and I'm always challenging myself on what new bodyweight moves I can pull out. I've been doing an Unreal Engine course, and I feel very motivated do it. Just look at the length of my post, and I'm not even finished.
Brain fog: Improved a lot. I can read for a long time without interruptions and I can understand and remember what I just read. My ideas flow faster and clearly.
Physical changes : My body odor changes. For some reason when I'm on PMO I stink, but know there are people telling me that I smell good. Im gaining weight , some good muscle and some fat as well, but overall I cant really complain, I can stop being a twig. I dont sweat like a pig, my skin seems to be improving. The beard is longer and with a good color.
Female attraction: This is the most polemic one. People here claim that is real, people claim is fake and some people say this is a placebo effect. I cannot prove it, but I'm convinced that is real. The first two months I became invisible to women. No woman even looked at me during this time. There were just days apart from each other when I felt this crazy attraction, like I was just irresistible. Its happening again almost daily now. For some reason they find you very interesting, women of all ages looking at you, like knowing that you haven't masturbated or looked at porn for a long time. It's like they FEEL you, they know you are there, they can feel your presence from far away (from the other side of the subway convoy, when its full of people and it seems you stand out, from example). To be fair, people have always told me that I'm a handsome man, and to be fair the beard helps a lot, but for some reason when I fap often or when I'm going through the first months I disappear from their radar. Girls start texting me out of the blue. This girl always wants to see me and go to their house, this other one invited me to see System of a Down, she even bought the tickets. My boss(a girl) is always looking and flirting with me, she is always saying that I'm handsome in front of everyone. Her boss is always looking at me as well. This is real, brothers, I just cannot explain what it is or how it works, but it works.
Now the bad news:
No morning erections: Or at least not that often. When I have them are rock hard, but that has happened like 20 days out of 90. I dont really plan to be with a woman for a while, but this is making me worried.
No sexual desire: I fantasize regularly, but I don't aroused and I don't get erections from it. This is weird. And I don't like it
I swear Im almost finished. I advise all of you to keep P subs at the minimum possible. On my first 90 day streak I had several wet dreams. This time I've only had one, and It was not a full ejaculation, it was seminal liquid mostly. I'm sure that P subs are at fault when you have wet dreams. Also not looking at women. Now I realize that I've been retaining my seed for 90 days.
I think this is it, I dont want to bore you with this Bible I just typed. Keep fighting. If I could do it, you bet your ass you can do it as well.
I was afraid that I went the NoFap route, It was going to make work and life in general more difficult. That's exactly what happened, and now I am very proud of myself that I took the hard way and succeded.
I don't feel great yet, but I can see a lot of improvement. Now I want to beat my 200 days last streak, and try to make it a year, I'm very motivated.
I want you to read this and I want you to believe in yourself. I, as well as you, never thought I could make it to 90 days straight without masturbation, porn or orgasms. Just like you, I failed 20 times in a row, but every one of those fails were a small victory as well. Maybe you won´t make it on your first try, but keep trying. It will become easier, just do your best and give everything you've got to stop this habit.
It is not easy. It is a nightmare. It is like slowly walking into the depths of hell, and everyday that passes makes everything worse. You'll feel depressed, disrespected, suicidal, lazy, useless, unattractive, hopeless and a large etcetera. And that may continue for over 90 days.
But Oh Boy. Oh, Oh, Oh boy. One day you'll wake up and realize you dont feel like utter shit, then you'll have to live one month feeling like shit again. But you'll remember that day you didn't fell like that and you'll want to experience it again. And its going to happen more often. And you'll realize why so few people can and are willing to do it. BECAUSE IT IS NOT EASY. Keep this in your mind at all times. What you are doing is a fucking torture, and you are doing this to yourself. It this was easy, EVERYONE would be doing this. Your brain is going to try to convince you that this is not worth it.
But it is, the reward is something that you've always had, but you are just hiding it within you watching porn so often.
I know this is a long post, but fuck it, I will make a list of improvements first. So, if you don't mind:
Confidence : Damn, I dont feel like the Alpha dog yet, but I can see people straight to the eyes, I dont find girls scary, authority figures are equals, I walk straight, and more important I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME. Like that, I know I will never be perfect and I'm a flawed human being, but we are all flawed, so fuck whatever people think about me.
Energy: This is real, dawg. Sometimes I get 4 hours or less of sleep and I fell energized the next day. I work out so hard that I need a couple of hours to recover. I feel the need to work out, and I'm always challenging myself on what new bodyweight moves I can pull out. I've been doing an Unreal Engine course, and I feel very motivated do it. Just look at the length of my post, and I'm not even finished.
Brain fog: Improved a lot. I can read for a long time without interruptions and I can understand and remember what I just read. My ideas flow faster and clearly.
Physical changes : My body odor changes. For some reason when I'm on PMO I stink, but know there are people telling me that I smell good. Im gaining weight , some good muscle and some fat as well, but overall I cant really complain, I can stop being a twig. I dont sweat like a pig, my skin seems to be improving. The beard is longer and with a good color.
Female attraction: This is the most polemic one. People here claim that is real, people claim is fake and some people say this is a placebo effect. I cannot prove it, but I'm convinced that is real. The first two months I became invisible to women. No woman even looked at me during this time. There were just days apart from each other when I felt this crazy attraction, like I was just irresistible. Its happening again almost daily now. For some reason they find you very interesting, women of all ages looking at you, like knowing that you haven't masturbated or looked at porn for a long time. It's like they FEEL you, they know you are there, they can feel your presence from far away (from the other side of the subway convoy, when its full of people and it seems you stand out, from example). To be fair, people have always told me that I'm a handsome man, and to be fair the beard helps a lot, but for some reason when I fap often or when I'm going through the first months I disappear from their radar. Girls start texting me out of the blue. This girl always wants to see me and go to their house, this other one invited me to see System of a Down, she even bought the tickets. My boss(a girl) is always looking and flirting with me, she is always saying that I'm handsome in front of everyone. Her boss is always looking at me as well. This is real, brothers, I just cannot explain what it is or how it works, but it works.
Now the bad news:
No morning erections: Or at least not that often. When I have them are rock hard, but that has happened like 20 days out of 90. I dont really plan to be with a woman for a while, but this is making me worried.
No sexual desire: I fantasize regularly, but I don't aroused and I don't get erections from it. This is weird. And I don't like it
I swear Im almost finished. I advise all of you to keep P subs at the minimum possible. On my first 90 day streak I had several wet dreams. This time I've only had one, and It was not a full ejaculation, it was seminal liquid mostly. I'm sure that P subs are at fault when you have wet dreams. Also not looking at women. Now I realize that I've been retaining my seed for 90 days.
I think this is it, I dont want to bore you with this Bible I just typed. Keep fighting. If I could do it, you bet your ass you can do it as well.
