Today, is the day, I'm going for it

Hello guys, so long story short, I've been cooming for almost all my life, since I was 10 yo, now im almost 21 and there is nothing I want to do more than quitting this stupid addiction.

I usually never post here but this time really triggered me, I have been feeling like a piece of shit all day because yesterday and today I relapsed to porn and masturbation, I was doing great on my streaks and suddenly my body takes control over my brain and pum! I find myself taking off the content restrictions on my phone and peeking on PH over and over until I finally go and relapse, its really stupid, I really feel so fucking depressed, how the fuck can I be so weak? I think I'm not even trying but I really am.

I workout a lot, I usually medidate 3-week, I take cold showers every day but nothing seems to be working, at least they were working but this relapse came and my life is falling apart, I dont know what to do anymore, I dont even feel motivated.

The reason I'm here posting is that I wanted to share my emotions with you and to not feel alone on the journey, thank you so much for reading all this, apologies for my English, I'm not native.