Just feel the need to write down the desire I have to look at some psubs. I know that if I do it is only a matter of time before I relapse. Being honest always seems to help and I honestly have been stressed out from work and feeling a little sorry for myself so I am craving a dopamine high. I know though that I just need to let it go and remember that I don’t actually want to relapse. Thank you community for your support!
Psub is a porn substitute. Like browsing Instagram or Facebook, or looking and questionable YouTube videos. Not quite porn but still gets the dopamine going.
It also means looking at females butts, soles of feet, breasts, high heeled shoes or boots, fishnet nylons, tongues sticking out whether from videos or pictures.
Man I fell into that rabbit hole for a couple of days! i do that when I go nofap. I call it skirting. You look at something almost porn, but not actually porn. Yeah it's a trap.
I think Psubs are worse than porn in a lot of ways, at least for me. I find it fairly simple to avoid actual porn but its so hard to avoid triggering material that technically isnt porn. Just the other day I was browsing Twitter, on a page that has nothing to do with anything triggering, it was a tech related pages, and I see, inexplicably, that the page has retweeted something softcore. Before I can react to it by scrolling away or closing the tab, its already been seen and has already left its mark on me. Sometimes browsing the internet makes me feel like I'm contorting my way through a laser grid or something, its really annoying.
I totally agree with @AtomicTango I like funny memes (who doesn't amirite?) But so many are sex related.
Agree! If I can avoid the psubs then I don’t look at porn. But psubs send me into a spiral back to porn.
Hey Henryhill, making this post was a good decision. Maybe venting your feelings would do you some good and/or exercising if you have time. Try your best not to fall into the illusion that it'll be worth it because of feeling so much stress and that you can simply pick up and easily make another 30+ days..because it's really rough to fall down again, every time. I think you're doing so well for yourself. You got this, you gotta just stand through it, it will pass. Rooting for you!
Its even worse when you arent even looking at anything that feasibly could be linked back to porn or a Psub and it happens anyway. I'll be browsing something videogame related on a page related to videogames and then suddenly the trigger appears like
I just avoid the Internet as much as possible. Work (no possible triggers on Google Scholar or university library search) and NoFap. That's it. Edit: having said that, the laptop is going off now. Goodnight.
Thank you so much for your encouragement. I came here just now to feel some of that as boredom has kicked in and I really want to give in. But I know I’ll deeply regret it. I need to remember that even when bored at work I can find things to do that are enjoyable and will help me in the long run. So grateful for this forum and a place to find support.