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Trying to cure my fear of intimacy

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by NF SINCE BIRTH, Jun 29, 2021.

  1. Jun 29, 2021 #1
    NF SINCE BIRTH

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut
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    A friend invited me out tomorrow. I never considered her dating material although she is pretty enough. I realize I probably have a fear of intimacy after a lot of traumas growing up plus a bunch of failed relationships. I can easily break the ice and flirt with girls up until about the point of kissing. So this friend I am meeting tomorrow. I was considering confessing to her that I struggle with this and ask to kiss her. I have no romantic interest in her but I trust her and I am thinking that it would maybe be a good idea. I just hope that it doesnt backfire and that I lead her on unintentionally. She has been a friend of mine for the last 3 years or so, so I guess it is pretty safe to assume that a kiss wont be a big deal for her.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Jun 29, 2021
    NF SINCE BIRTH, Jun 29, 2021
    #1
  2. Jun 30, 2021 #2
    Vanquisher12

    Vanquisher12 Fapstronaut

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    I don't think it's a good idea to try this with a friend you don't have feelings for, because the fact you're forcing yourself to kiss a girl you don't have romantic feelings for in the first place will only add to your general fear of building intimacy.

    Instead wait until you find a girl you genuinely feel for, so that your feelings for her can entice you to overcome your fear. Talking to her about it is also a good idea, it'll show her you trust her with opening up about your vulnerabilities and that you don't care what others think of you for that. If she's right for you she'll help support you with that. It's a case of using the carrot over the stick.

    I like the sound of asking her if you can kiss her too, because it shows her you respect her feelings and want to make sure she's on the same page as you. Does that definitely work?
     
    Vanquisher12, Jun 30, 2021
    Vanquisher12, Jun 30, 2021
    #2

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