Videogame Detox and Detach.

@Cirilla, I haven't read the Witcher books no, but I'm starting heavy school shite next week and I think I'll need a good fantasy book to balance with all the real-world class reading, I'll have to check one out... Where to start tho?!?

 

I used to be addicted to a video game for a year. I worked 3rd shift, then I
played for 3-5 hours in the early am when I came home. On weekends, I played about the same amount, but I was motivated to get out.

By the end of that year, this addiction had me by the throat. How it happened was so gradual. I slept all my weekends away, I isolated a lot, and I was deeply depressed. I started to contemplate suicide.

That was when I knew that madness had to end. And after that year, I did very little video gaming, then when I became about 28-30, it went to zero and stayed there.


Remember that video games are too addictive to use for a hobby. Hobbies for guys in a reboot need to follow these rules, in my opinion:

1. be outdoors
2. be with people, but not in a house
3. be something that is not expensive or require a subscription
4. be something that can be walked away from at any time
5. something that requires movement, like standing, moving, a sport,
a stand up game, like cornhole
6. something that takes some amount of skill to develop, like singing karaoke, playing in a rock band, indoor climbing, snorkling, playing basketball, volleyball, tennis

7. (optional) something that can earn "some" money, which makes it more challenging

Video games follow NONE of those guidelines.

 

Hey thank you for sharing those guidelines. I agree that video games significantly affect my mental health and eventually make it worse: having suicidal thoughts,...

Personally, I think PMO and Video Games share a mutual connection, because I have done this for years that after any gaming session, I would be back to PMO behavior.

I'm reading Atomic Habits and this realization makes more sense. I think a load of habits will be formed easier if their identity/nature is related to each other, especially bad habits, then auto pilot kick in and I found me doing something I shouldn't do.

Ex. My Relapse Pattern:
Pattern A:
1. Getting triggered by erotic graphic or audio, especially after letting my guard down.
2. Starting to make up my excuses, motivate myself to give in my urges.
3. PMOing
4. Orgasmed and feeling rewarded (artificially)

<=> Pattern B:
1. Letting my guard down
2. Make excuses to play video games
3. Playing video games
4. Feeling rewarded (artificially)

<=> Pattern C: watching Anime/Manga

That's why I believe that I need to focus on improving my life in all aspects and changing my inner self but not PMO addiction itself in this current streak. And I won't let my guard down again, making a huge change to environment is creating a chance for my addiction: will-power will end up being drained.

 

All of that self-analysis is good, my friend.

But there is one flaw. An addict has distorted thinking. This means that "keeping your guard up" as you say has some problems.

What you might consider is that if you consider yourself an addict of PMO, video games, or other things is a more permanent solution.

Nobody can tell you if you are an addict, only you can. So I am not saying you are, or if you are not. That's your decision, nobody else has a say.

But if you did, the permanent solution is to buy a copy of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Everywhere where they use a word for alcohol, like beer, wine, etc,
replace it with "PMO", "Video games" or whatever.

Then you can discover the solution that you won't have to wrestle with anymore.

It worked for me. I'm sober over 10 years now. Continuously.

 

I'll read it someday, hope I can find a free copy because I don't live in the US. Thank you for recommending me a book.

I said I wouldn't let my guard down means I won't remove or attempt to remove my porn blocker again.

Making environmental changes is one of the important tools to get rid of a bad habit in my opinion. I won't use my will-power constantly for not overcoming my urges or my fear of missing out but on my daily list's tasks. Make bad habit less accessible.

I made a mistake when I was on day 15 in my last streak. I tried to reset my laptop in which I set a strong blocker the first time, everything was fine until I had a sexual dream. After having it, my brain seemed numb, my will-power apparently decreased significantly. And a few hours later, I relapsed after slipping on my laptop (seeing hot girl on news).

You can blame me because I wasn't persistent, adamant or having a strong will-power. But I believe a physical barriers (porn blocker) must be there whenever I am in weak state. Porn is so easy to access, as well as Video Games,...

However, enviromental changes is just one of tools to overcome any addiction. We need an arsenal of tools, a package of weapons, ranging from physical to mental tools to successfully break this vicious addiction.

Thank you for the response.

 

Yes, you are right. The one tool that the AA book will give you is a spiritual solution
to the problem.

This solution is permanent because it removes the need for will power.

The problem with will power is that it only goes so far. The porn addict has very little left.

Even if the porn addict has more will power, the environment has a way of always
bringing a new temptation.

Another issue is that when a man isolates women and sexual imagery from his environment, then he gets hypersensitive. This means that when he goes to the store and sees a cashier, who isn't even very attractive, it's enough to make him go home and use M.

That is why I suggest the spiritual solution with AA.

But the other things you do are good, they are just not going to be reliable.

My best, brother!

 

Yes, you got it. Escapism is the heart of the issue.

The fact is that we can't "cure" it.
You can't fix it, the escapism tendency is always going to be there.
10 years sober, and sometimes I think it'd be nice to have a drink.
Our brains, as addicts are destroyed this way.

But what we can do is keep focused on the work we have to do.
There's a lot of suffering to make the transition back to reality.

I told you about how much I cried and wanted to kill myself that first reboot.
But now I don't feel like that. I've been working hard to make things happen.
Things should be complete next year, and I have a lot of peace and joy.

That is what the reboot heals. You start to realize that the world is stupid,
but they have to stay stupid (present company excluded).

And while they are stupid, because you put in the work and suffering,
you will flourish.

 

Wow, what a coincidence I did the same this morning, deleted all the games and applications that made me procrastinate from my computer, well my other step now will be to delete the songs too!

 

When I said "the world is stupid, and it has to stay stupid", I meant that
there is a certain freedom in the reboot, or when breaking off of addictions.
An addict usually sees themselves as a victim, or tends to internalize the wrong
messages from people or society.
The guy who gets healed sees the world as a jacked up place.
But he keeps it outside of the wall.

He can do that because his inner value is more important.
And he knows it is more important because he earned it.
What is outside of the wall is not reflective of him, even if he was part of it.
In fact, this kind of man who has defined his boundaries knows that
being outside of that wall was mostly full of setbacks.
Because people make mistakes, people have malice, people lie, people hate,
and so on.

All that negative junk is evil, and the NoFap guy doesn't need it or want it.
What the NoFap guy needs from society, he decides in advance, gets that thing,
and departs.

Never forget:

In the streak or reboot, a man earns value because of suffering.
He suffers because he thinks of what he wants, yet denies himself.
It doesn't matter what it is he wants, he denies it if it could break the reboot.

Does that make sense?

Boundaries are important because that is the reason for the escapism.
A man who faps is trying to escape because his life is messed up.
He could have caused all of it, some part or none of it.
Either way, he needs to get back to the safe zone and heal.

The main thing a guy needs to do in a reboot is suffer through that pain
of transformation.
Then he comes out way stronger, smarter and more capable.
Even when a guy does a marginal job in the reboot, still there is a ton of benefit there.

Sorry about the long dissertation.

 

I'm with you. I only game socially now. Gaming alone is pure escapism - better to grapple with my problems and do healthy IRL things. After I started meditating, I noticed that some games - GTA, even Halo - put me into unhealthy states of mind.

I hardly watch Netflix anymore, too. But I'm going to get Apple TV so I can watch Foundation with my daughter.

-EK

 

I honestly stick to older video games in all honesty. I honestly think there has not been a decent video game released after 2016. Here are some examples of the games I still play, The Half Life series, S.T.A.L.K.E.R., Halo, Call of Duty 4- Black Ops 2, Time Shift, Tomb Raider, Prototype, Far Cry 3, Crysis, Honestly I find that Minecraft and Terraria are the most helpful games for me because they help me with my Autism. All this being said I am considering giving up gaming for lent.

 

Glad I found this thread.

I had been about a month or so with out playing video games. At some point I made the decision to remove all the games from my PC (barring a settlers of catan clone I sparingly play with my far away cousin), Over the weekend I installed Linux Mint on my PC and proceeded to a ton of cheapy open source games from the software manager. While watching the OP video I uninstalled all but two games. Typing this post I removed the final two.

Porn is in the past. Now it's time for video games to get a proper reboot. 90 days, that's my goal. Will I be able to return to them? Time will tell.

 

Some great thoughts @greenishmoon .

Years ago I used to play some games alone but a lot of it with with my brother. We'd either play multiplayer or watch each other play (usually I watched). Something changed as I approached my twenties. I (or we?) began to diverge in our gaming. I had games I wanted to play which he didn't so I played "mine". The big one was Phantasy Star Online. I wanted him to play but he never got into the game so I played online with others. A big part of going into PSO was the prospect of meeting people. The person who introduced me to PSO apparently lived reasonably close to me. I latched onto the idea of meeting people outside the family and my small circle of childhood friends. In the end I never did meet this person in both PSO or face to face. I do question how much of a "gamer" I was in my adult life as reflection is telling me the video game was only a means to social interaction.

Competing has been difficult for me as well. Losing makes me want to quit.