I started this NoFap journey to dealing with my HOCD, but after 72 days hardmode I faced a big challenge in my life last week. A girl wanted to date me and I declined. After that I felt as a crap as I was nothing. When I started this journey I thought with the reboot I would be ready for getting through my fears and find a real woman but I was wrong. After that I got the conclusion that I really need professional help. I can't do it by my own. I have very deep issues that are out of my reach. So, last night I thought, fuck you... I will masturbate, what is the purpose of all of it if I can't get a real woman. And then I musturbated with all my angry and frustration. It was so intense and filled with angry and fear that I couldn't not even feel the orgasm at all, just came and screamed with the top of my lungs with no pleasure ... it was like... fuck everything!! There you are!! And thats it... just put all my angry out on it. Now its hard to find meaning for NoFap hardmode again. I'm wondering, if I can't find girl what is the purpose of NoFap. I am so much better of my Gay Thoughts. Im glad for this but now I want to go back to M regularly as before without P or fantasize until I find professional help and get a real woman. What do you guys think? I would appreciate any help.
Didn't abstaining from pmo give you any benefits at all? I don't know anything about HOCD but nofap isn't a cure for everything, just a kick in the butt. There are many guys who feel great until they either relapse or having a wet dream, and losing their "superpowers". Don't you think nofap could aid you in your therapy? Kattskägg
For sure it did. During my 72 days of NoFap I felt invensible, I was motivated full of life and passion and my HOCD dropped considerably. But I guess the point is, when you are an addicted you really need a strong motivation for fighting against your cravings, I was 100% committed to NoFap as a solution for all of my problems but I realised that I also need help to deal with childhood trauma and now maybe 20% of my beliefs have disappeared and the 80% left is not strong enough for combatting my desire for pleasure right now. I made an appointment with a psychiatrist that is hell expensive and I will se if she can recommend a psychologist who can help me. One that I can afford. Now my mind is giving me a lot of good reasons for go back to M and I cannot dismiss all of them rationally. This is the reason I created this thread. I am just seeking some help.
I'm sure nofap will be a great asset for you treatment. You proved you could make 72 days, that's god damn impressive. Really hope you can find motivation again, and cope with your hornyness by doing other activities than fapping. Kattskägg
My mind is keep telling me this: - You should enjoy yourself until the appointment with the psychiatrist. There is no reason for you not doing this. Just M without P is fine. Its time for you to give it a break until you find some help. After that you can come back to NoFap again. And I must to say its being hard not to give in.
It's hard and that's why it works! And I'm sure there are other things you can enjoy instead, risk for binging and it's not good and might ruin all the hard work you've already accomplished. Kattskägg
Hi Anderstanding ! I want to say one thing : "When God wants to save a man, he sends him love" At the origin, it is from Lao Tseu. I'm french so in my language it is : "Quand le ciel veut sauver un homme il lui envoie l'amour." From my own experience, I think that you shouldn't have said no to this girl. That was your mistake. I truly believe that love tries many times to save us, but sometimes we don't open our gate and it's so sad. Personnaly it has happened to me many times and I have so many regrets. Does my answer help you ?
Its not only about relapse itself Its about realise that there are issues that are beyond my reach and I need to face it what scares me. I couldn't find balance to think clearly yesterday.
I think you were just sexually frustrated after declining that girl unless you didn't like her obviously. Honestly the problems that you are describing need nofap hard mode to deal with them. With your gay thoughts just let them be in your mind. You want girls so you're clearly straight so don't worry about the gay thoughts and just let them be. This is just my advice, hope you can relate or use some of it.
