What Can you do if you are about to relapse?

This may or may not work but you could give it a try and let me know if it works:

(1) When your mind is clear, write in a piece of paper why you do not want to relapse. This can be a simple statement. Mine is this "If I choose to relapse now, I will be feeding the addict part of my brain. This will only bring me temporary relief. Things will become more difficult later. Staying clean when I face no urges has no merit. Resisting now requires courage and I can do this". I carry this piece of paper in my wallet.

(2) Tell yourself that this is a deceptive brain message. It is an emotional reaction that wants to hijack your brain. Say "this is my brain trying to play a trick, not ME". (For more information on this, read the book "You Are not your Brain"). Separate the deceptive brain message, the inner voice in your brain, from your real you (as in "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins; or "You are not your Brain" by Dr. Schwartz).

(3) Fast forward to the moment after relapsing. Try to visualize how you will feel, and make it a very real experience. I have recorded a message in my iPhone of how I feel after relapsing. When I am tempted, I play this message. This will help you realize that relapsing is not that great. But your brain does not want to hear any of this. It wants to rush you to act out.

(4) Tell yourself that you will not relapse for the next 10 minutes. Surprisingly enough, if you succeed for 10 minutes, you are likely to succeed much longer and with practice, the "urge" will dissolve. The addict in your head is impatient. It wants action NOW. If you do not give it to "him"; it loses interest. The dopamine rush declines, and all of a sudden the urge is gone.

(5) Find a more constructive activity to do instead. Ask yourself: what is the next right thing that I can do now? What else can I do now? What other options do I have? Then go ahead and start doing the alternative behavior. Your brain will gradually associate an initial urge with the alternative behavior. New brain connections will be made, making it easier to resist next time For some reason, when I have an urge, I always listen to a Bruce Springsteen song.

There are obviously many other things you can do: take a cold shower, leave the house, do push ups. But the above steps have worked for me many times. I hope this is useful

 

Fully agree. The fantasy needs to be stopped before it becomes a "virus of the mind". If we allow it to grow, it gains momentum and can become unstoppable. We can observe the urge from a detached position and know that "we do not really need to act".

 

I watched a video in the motivational video series created by @fercho29

There was some simple advice there. Before acting out, ask two questions (1) where does it leave you? and (2) where does it lead you? One thing I have found useful is to write this in a piece of paper that I carry in my wallet. When the urge comes and you feel like "suspending judgement", read it again to remind yourself of where you will be in a few minutes if you relapse.