What do you think would have stopped you starting?

D

Diggertron

Fapstronaut
Hey team,

Long time fighter, constant reader and first time contributor.

I’m wanting to make a difference, I see so many people trying to quit, the struggles that come with it, the lack of self worth. I see it! I feel it! and I can’t help but think of the term, “Prevention is better than cure”

I wish I hadn’t started!

so my question is, what are some things you wish you had at the start that would have helped stop you in the first place?

Eg.
Better (open) communication from parents?

Working on self worth?

secrecy?

access?

people you hung out with?

it being acceptable socially?


I’d love to hear from fellow fighters, I want to create awareness and would love your help on this!

thanks in advance!
 
Hey, I think when I started I understood the concepts of addiction with more familiar vices - alcohol, drugs & gambling. So I think just having it stressed from the start that this can become an addictive behaviour, and all the knowledge about what it does to your brain to rewire it would I hope have been enough to deter me.

But that's easy as a 30-something to say, when I was a teenager teeming with hormones at the time.
 
What a great take, actually just telling someone it is addictive! It’s just such an unknown!
Thank you for your response!
 
honestly, aside from the internet not existing, probably nothing. I was introduced to PMO by a friend, but chances are high I would have discovered it anyway.

I think, in the future, porn addiction will be something they discuss in health class in school as more and more studies are done, kids are introduced at a younger and younger age, and more and more people become aware and accepting that it is a legitimate problem. This would probably help at least a bit for some people. I know health class and DARE kept me from ever doing any "hard" drugs, so it definitely wouldn't hurt to make people aware of the potential for self harm at an early age, as opposed to simply just teaching that it's "healthy, normal activity" as they did when I was growing up. It's just like any drug or addiction really - if used in moderation, maybe there isn't much wrong with it. But, the problem is, some people are genetically / sociologically / situationally predisposed to falling victim to it, and those are the people that could use all the help they can get, before it's too late.

I just realized that I went on somewhat of a tangent based on your examples, so, will answer in another way.

I think if I had the following, I would have been much less likely to succumb at an early age:

a) a more fulfilling social life / circle of friends
b) more encouragement and discipline from parents to do good in school / extra curricular activities
c) more encouragement from parents to date and have relationships with actual people (my mother demonized women completely at a young age to get me to stay abstinent, and my father never really talked about it at all)
d) more discipline and control over internet access
e) parents setting better examples themselves about having more discipline and control in general
f) parents being more aware and helpful about my depression at an early age
g) more help coming from parents to help deal with my severe acne which maybe would have caused:
h) less shame, embarrassment and higher self-esteem

The rest is probably just genetics and circumstantial.
 
Last edited:
On my childhood, i see two people naked and that give me a childhood trauma and give me sex addiction. So i think, if someone tell me what happening with me in that time, then i won't be a pmo addict for 20 years....
 
I can’t thank you enough for this reply! Thank you for being vulnerable and honest! Appreciate it man!

And looking at you now, here on NoFap kicking goals! I hope you’re out doing those things for yourself now? Some extra curricular activities, something you enjoy! You deserve it man!

Wastedlife said:
honestly, aside from the internet not existing, probably nothing. I was introduced to PMO by a friend, but chances are high I would have discovered it anyway.

I think, in the future, porn addiction will be something they discuss in health class in school as more and more studies are done, kids are introduced at a younger and younger age, and more and more people become aware and accepting that it is a legitimate problem. This would probably help at least a bit for some people. I know health class and DARE kept me from ever doing any "hard" drugs, so it definitely wouldn't hurt to make people aware of the potential for self harm at an early age, as opposed to simply just teaching that it's "healthy, normal activity" as they did when I was growing up. It's just like any drug or addiction really - if used in moderation, maybe there isn't much wrong with it. But, the problem is, some people are genetically / sociologically / situationally predisposed to falling victim to it, and those are the people that could use all the help they can get, before it's too late.

I just realized that I went on somewhat of a tangent based on your examples, so, will answer in another way.

I think if I had the following, I would have been much less likely to succumb at an early age:

a) a more fulfilling social life / circle of friends
b) more encouragement and discipline from parents to do good in school / extra curricular activities
c) more encouragement from parents to date and have relationships with actual people (my mother demonized women completely at a young age to get me to stay abstinent, and my father never really talked about it at all)
d) more discipline and control over internet access
e) parents setting better examples themselves about having more discipline and control in general
f) parents being more aware and helpful about my depression at an early age
g) more help coming from parents to help deal with my severe acne which maybe would have caused:
h) less shame, embarrassment and higher self-esteem

The rest is probably just genetics and circumstantial.
Click to expand...
 
Interesting, so you’re saying more education would have helped?

thanks for the response!

war Survivor said:
On my childhood, i see two people naked and that give me a childhood trauma and give me sex addiction. So i think, if someone tell me what happening with me in that time, then i won't be a pmo addict for 20 years....
Click to expand...
 
Two things:

1. Education:

I had 0 sexual education outside of school. Also what was already said: addictions were mostly recognised with alcohol & drugs ONLY. I had no talk about alcohol and drugs neither... I knew that PMO is something that I shouldn't watch, for example because of religion, but this was something so UNIQUE and satisfying most basic needs, that I couldn't stand it!

2. Better relations with girls/peers

If I had better relations with my colleagues at school I might get in relationship with girls. I know it might not prevent me from PMO addiction but there's a chance that it wouldn't if I engaged sexually early enough. Another factor is that with not best relations with peers I was stressed really often and it was a way to vent out my inner tensions and anger. I had no idea that it only fueled my issues...
 
Diggertron said:
Hey team,

Long time fighter, constant reader and first time contributor.

I’m wanting to make a difference, I see so many people trying to quit, the struggles that come with it, the lack of self worth. I see it! I feel it! and I can’t help but think of the term, “Prevention is better than cure”

I wish I hadn’t started!

so my question is, what are some things you wish you had at the start that would have helped stop you in the first place?

Eg.
Better (open) communication from parents?

Working on self worth?

secrecy?

access?

people you hung out with?

it being acceptable socially?


I’d love to hear from fellow fighters, I want to create awareness and would love your help on this!

thanks in advance!
Click to expand...
The communication with the parents. Some outlets outside of school.
Perhaps earlier diagnosis of the mental health issues i have now.
 
Thank you for sharing!

I spent so many hours wondering how to stop, I never put much into why I started.

Definitely agree! Education is massive!

And just basic friendships and activities.

Coub said:
Two things:

1. Education:

I had 0 sexual education outside of school. Also what was already said: addictions were mostly recognised with alcohol & drugs ONLY. I had no talk about alcohol and drugs neither... I knew that PMO is something that I shouldn't watch, for example because of religion, but this was something so UNIQUE and satisfying most basic needs, that I couldn't stand it!

2. Better relations with girls/peers

If I had better relations with my colleagues at school I might get in relationship with girls. I know it might not prevent me from PMO addiction but there's a chance that it wouldn't if I engaged sexually early enough. Another factor is that with not best relations with peers I was stressed really often and it was a way to vent out my inner tensions and anger. I had no idea that it only fueled my issues...
Click to expand...
 
Thanks for helping out and sharing man,

This is something that keeps coming up I haven’t really thought about.

Extra curricular activities. Just something to get me out of the house and being social.

This is awesome!

Would love to hear from anyone else

Tryhard Winduptired said:
The communication with the parents. Some outlets outside of school.
Perhaps earlier diagnosis of the mental health issues i have now.
Click to expand...
 
I'm not sure. I started with nude scenes from movies. I'm only 33, but I am just old enough to have been from the generation that paused VHS tapes in my VCR to fap. So I'm guessing even had I been ten years younger in 1990, I would have done the same. I think high speed internet is the real cause though. From about 2003 onward...
 
Yeah! I feel this!

It was so normalized yet I felt I had to hide it at the same time. The taboo nature of something that was accepted. There was no measuring stick. What was too much etc.

And doing it with autism, man, that must have been tough! Congrats for being here bro! I appreciate you!

Need2Rewire said:
If I had a better support system as a kid. I have autism so that's come with its own challenges, and I never really felt that comfortable talking about my mental health as a kid and frankly I struggle with that even now.

Growing up, I was basically taught that porn and masturbating were not only normal and to be expected, but also healthy. If I had known it would lead to all of this, I like to think that I wouldn't have gotten into it, or at least not like this.
Click to expand...
 
Wow! I relate to this post!! Been there, Mr Skin back in the day, celebrities definitely is where I started as well.

A nude scene here or there you think won’t make a difference, but then you want to explore and understand. So you go looking for more.

Comes back to that communication, education and understanding!

Thanks for sharing my man!

gingerguy88 said:
I'm not sure. I started with nude scenes from movies. I'm only 33, but I am just old enough to have been from the generation that paused VHS tapes in my VCR to fap. So I'm guessing even had I been ten years younger in 1990, I would have done the same. I think high speed internet is the real cause though. From about 2003 onward...
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top