What has worked for you?

I'm very willing. There's a saying - A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether.

Hopefully this post doesn't run too long, I'll try and be brief on each point.

Understanding that porn is a destructive force for the people that produce it and the people that consume it. Every time I watch it, I am a contributing factor of another poor soul put into the meat grinder for profit. I am the consumer. I am the perpetuator. Without my use, your use, his use, her use, will they continue to distribute a product with no one to partake in it? I think of my son and the porn jungle he will have to navigate one day when he comes of age. I refuse to play a part any longer in building an industry that is destroying our children. I am done being a perpetuator.

Having a firm grasp on how it has warped my thinking. The brain fog I experienced. The numbing of emotions and thoughts. How it caused me to objectify every female in front of me to a plaything for my fantasy. How it completely obliterated empathy from my being. I was nothing but self driven, self satisfying and self consumed. When I quit porn I still struggled for a year with flashbacks. My brain had been so hijacked that my thoughts were no longer my own at all. This realization made me furious to an extent I can't even fully put to words.

During the process I painstakingly identified my triggers. Anger, stress, frustration, boredom, being alone with access to electronics that facilitated porn and my brain on auto pilot. I made it a point to have no social media, no mindless internet surfing, and refrained from having my cell where opportunity could provoke a problem in a weak moment.

I stayed present in my mind. I did not allow for myself to drift mentally aimlessly. And I became ruthlessly honest with myself. The lies of weakness that are so well known to us all, the ones we comfort ourselves with "Just one more small time, then I'm done" I cut mercilessly from myself.

I told my partner. Everything. The ugliest, darkest, bitterest truths. All on the table. Displayed in all their technicolor wretchedness. I wanted to kill the secrecy. The lies. The hiding. I wanted this thing to have shelter no more in the dark of the unknown.

I went approximately 45 days of hard mode. No sex, no mo, no anything. Then introduced sex.

I kept in mind throughout that I deserve better than this in life. And most definitely she deserved better from me as a man. My son deserved a proper father, not some pathetic excuse of a man. If I don't get out from this barmy thing now, when will I? If not now, perhaps never. That is unacceptable. This kept me driving ever forward. Not allowing for slips. I became a man on a mission, my mission was restoring my life.

I post here now offering what I've learned, what worked for me, support, and honesty for those that might need it. It's my way of giving back and mending some of the destructive seeds I've sewn.

Cheers, mate. You can do this. If I can, you can.

 

You'll get there, mate. You're doing the most important work, the work that most fail at - being honest with yourself.

If I can help you at all, drop me a line.

 

For me....

1. I deleted my stash and never went to a streaming site since reboot/rewire.
2. Dedicate myself to working out and have an awesome healthy lifestyle.
3. Constantly pushing my own limits and getting off my comfort zone. Try new things. Interact and try to connect with people and have real conversations.
4. Have hobbies.
5. Go outside and do shit. Get a nice tan.
6. Discover neighborhoods and cool places to eat.
7. Travel. Even better if you are traveling solo.
8. Become an idea machine. Even better if your are constantly brainstorming money making ideas.

I personally don't like to read books about addictions and subjects of negative behavior. I read books that empower and inspire you so you can discover your own ways to become your best self. I can't focus on all that is wrong but I do recognize them as lessons to be learned. Once you discover and reach your own personal greatness all that is holding you back will fade away on its very own in good time.

 

http://antidoteforall.com/ try this out, its not magical, it may not stop you in an instant.