WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO ME?!?

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by feelsbadman2000, Oct 29, 2019.

  1. feelsbadman2000

    feelsbadman2000 Fapstronaut

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    I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I finally crossed one of the few boundaries I had. I have been fantasizing over fucking cuck shit and jacking off to it. I’ve been watching porn for most of my adolescence, and I’ve been deeply entrenched in sissy porn for the last two years. After learning about the psychological harm of porn and masturbation, I've cut down on masturbation a lot. Instead of once or twice a day with porn, I do it about once every four days without porn. However, the stuff I think about has become more extreme. I’ve lost interest for the most part in old fetishes, but now I’m getting new, worse ones. I’m honestly just writing this to get it off my chest. If anyone has advise I’d appreciate it.
     
  2. athlean

    athlean Fapstronaut

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    What is cuck?
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  3. iUsedToHaveAnAccountHere

    iUsedToHaveAnAccountHere Fapstronaut

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    Relax. Its only fantasies, its all in your head.
    Who havent had fucked up fantasies (or even done fucked up things) being young?

    Besides, this ”cuck” thing is VERY common, dont feel bad about it man!
     
  4. Avaloview

    Avaloview Fapstronaut

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    Stay FAR away from any of that stuff. You should feel achievement for cutting down to a 4 day gap. I think you need two have 2 aims in the short term.

    1) Extend 4 days to a week. If you feel the need beyond once a week, cold shower immediately. Eventually you push it further to two weeks, etc.

    2) If you relapse but begin to even think about those things, stop. You just lost your week pass. Every time you successfully masturbate with that stuff in your head, you are strengthening neural pathways which will reinforce the addiction. Break the cycle!
     
    Fallensoldier1, FX-05 and Enwar like this.
  5. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    sorry to say that, but dont blame others for choices you've made
     
  6. alexg1709

    alexg1709 Fapstronaut

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    Many of us felt the same way as you and some of us still do.

    Drop PMO completely for 90 days and reap the benefits of your mind and body healing.

    Do not think that PMO has now mental side effects. It carries physical side effects too and they are not a joke.
     
    nirav2696 likes this.
  7. Nigel198419841984

    Nigel198419841984 Fapstronaut

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    I know how you feel. You start to change your tastes but it's not really you.

    Try not to beat yourself up about it. If you are horrified by what you are watching after you have M then it's your brain telling you something is wrong and you need to try doing things differently to stop.

    I'm in a similar situation and I'm going to try seeing a therapist.


     
  8. DerSchütze

    DerSchütze Fapstronaut

    This is part of addiction, escalation, shock and disgust paired with arousal is how you develop fetishes. Many of us have been down this road, with different genres. You're not special, these fantasies aren't any worse than other porn developed fetishes, none of them are real, all products of a reversible porn addiction. Start nofap now, you will fall, learn from your relapses, and things will get better.
     

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