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What to do when girlfriend wants to watch "50 shades of grey" with u?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Chiaro, Feb 25, 2015.

  1. Chiaro

    Chiaro Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, hope you're good.
    I have a quick question that actually needs some consideration.

    So now let's say a "friend" of yours has a girlfriend that doesn't know about his "addition" and now the gf really wants to watch that movie. How would you advise that friend in that situation?
     
  2. seventyniner

    seventyniner Fapstronaut

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    Simple one. Don't go. Did you mean in terms of not being exposed to tempting material? Simply don't go. If she wanted to watch Cinderella or some weird horror flick that you're not into, you'd just say no and let her watch it with her female friends, right?

    Or did you mean in terms of being afraid that she might ask weird questions after the movie or about the movie and your addiction might come to light?
     
    Don Gately likes this.
  3. BrooksterFap

    BrooksterFap Fapstronaut

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    just don't go, and sorry for those a big fan of this novel 50 shades for me is not even can call a movie, the story is obviously all about sex and no direction.
     
    Don Gately likes this.
  4. FutureGuitarGod

    FutureGuitarGod Banned by User Request

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    If it means a lot to her, then go fucking see it. Chances are you've brought her along to do something that you liked because she cared about spending time with you. Reciprocate.
     
  5. master90days

    master90days Fapstronaut

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    Tell her the truth, that you find 50 shades of grey wrong because http://fightthenewdrug.org/five-things-fifty-shades-of-grey-teaches/

    If that doesnt work, go with her and fall asleep during the movie. Take a hat with you to cover your eyes, stare at the people heads in front of you during the moving.

    If all fails, pray you have willpower and mental strength so it doesn't cause a trigger later.
     
  6. Explain that is amovie about violence of abuse and if she wants to go anyway then go and fall asleep.
     
  7. Squeaky Soul

    Squeaky Soul Fapstronaut

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    Even going and trying to sleep is playing with fire.

    Do the right thing - tell her how you feel and don't watch it. She might laugh, she might make fun of you, but would rather subject yourself to temptation (after 21 days), or would you rather be honest?

    Be innocent :)

    ~Squeaky Soul
     
  8. terminator1

    terminator1 Fapstronaut

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    It is very hard to remove sexual images from the mind. You don't want too add too much stimulation while you are trying to reboot. We all know what it is like to stumble so why even tempt yourself?
     
  9. NoMoYo

    NoMoYo Fapstronaut

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    don't go. tell her the movie doesn't align with your values.
     
  10. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    I heard the movie was pretty tame, in France it was rated PG 13...
     
  11. KeenEye

    KeenEye Fapstronaut

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    I say don't go. 50 Shades of Gray is written by someone who's in brainfog from too much porn and erotica :D make this an opportunity to strengthen your nofap resolve and principle!
     
    Papa_Chief likes this.
  12. jbastoniv

    jbastoniv Fapstronaut

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    You'll have to judge for yourself. How are you handling mainstream media now? There are P substitutes everywhere we turn now days. Look at SI's latest swimsuit issue, she is pulling her bottom to just above her (well, you get the picture). What I have done is realized all of this is fake. The girl on the cover looks like she is 14 or 15, air brushed to no end. It's all fake to sell things. I saw a House of Cards episode the other night with a totally nude girl and I thought, nice, no effect on me, in fact, she looked normal, no gigantic fake breasts, no PVC outfit, no ginormous ass, just a nude women, and that was fine. I was still very cautious of not letting that trigger me, but it didn't. I look at it differently, not as MO material, not as a new fantasy material. It is about rewiring your mind and it can be done! But it takes work, reading, research, positive reinforcements etc. You are 24 days into it, only you can decide. If you are sexually active with her then you could go and have PIV afterwards (if she is all turned on). I read the book, it's pretty childish and corny. It's not very believable, but it is talking about a subject that is more fantasy than reality. I think where people get mixed up is they think there are a lot of people into these fetishes. There's not, it's really not mainstream, it is P, and flourishes there, not in the vast majority of bedrooms across the world. I am not saying it doesn't exist, it does, and is a life style for many, but a small percentage. If you have a doubt figure out a way maybe not to go. Sorry for rambling, I was inturrupted several times. Good luck and be strong.
     
  13. CountryDude

    CountryDude Fapstronaut

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    Watch it! Its not porn.

    It may test you, but life is a test. Just seeing a woman on the street can trigger you, so are you never gong to leave the house?
     
  14. Knight Solaire

    Knight Solaire Fapstronaut

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    I believe it to be not such a good idea. You are here to stop yourself from conforming to modern society's oversexualizations of current media. It could be triggering and you would also be watching porn. Movies with sex in them are the same as porn. You are still watching two people have sex. Even if it's fake or what.

    I hope you make the right choice and stay away from things like that. Hopefully your girlfriend should understand.

    Good luck friend
     
    Caveat Emptor likes this.
  15. Prov.4:23

    Prov.4:23 Fapstronaut

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    Holy crap! I would run like hell. No way I could make it through that. Plus, I have not seen great things about the treatment of women in regards to what how the movie portrays women sexually.
     
  16. Caveat Emptor

    Caveat Emptor Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Tell her you don't watch porn, and therefore cannot go. Assuming she's a good girlfriend, she'll understand. If you were a vegetarian, she wouldn't make you eat a steak for her, would she?
     
    Knight Solaire likes this.
  17. Immor

    Immor Fapstronaut

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    Don't go. Just because the movie sucks. It is plain cringe-worthy. Regardless of what you think of the supposed subject.
     

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