what's happening to me?

everything is fine. this is normal.

 

There are so many other people in the same situation as you it is totally normal for this generation. Just relax you are doing nothing wrong.

 

Hi Mike. It often happens that if someone is caught out during a long streak - 143 is good going btw - that there can be a bit of a binge. I think it as more to do with the feeling of disappointment than sex per se. We know that after we cum, the chaser effect sets in for a few days. But for a seasoned abstainer, it is the dragging feeling of disappointment that is the catalyst. So, refocus, decide not to berate yourself for being human and start your next long streak. Keep an optimistic outlook and stay vigilant.

 

Mmm, I think this is misleading Danny. Am I right to suppose that what you mean is that this sequence of events is common? That is the meaning I was trying to convey.

 

Hey Toughmike,

I'm glad you are taking this binge seriously. However, I think just saying nofap isn't working for you might be missing the larger picture. I have found that much of my struggles with PMO surrounded my difficulty in processing the ins and outs of relationships. When I had conflict, or needed to show openness or intimacy with someone, I would retreat into PMO where I felt comfort or control. Of course we know the promise of comfort or control is a lie. Additionally, If I want a physical relationship more than anything and then suddenly lose it, the sense of loss is profound. Your behaviors probably are arising from the fact that relational pain is hard for you to handle. PMO doesn't happen in a petri dish without any kind of outside contaminants. By that I mean, you don't PMO addictively for no reason.

If you introduce relational pain that you don't know how to process, then PMO is always possible. I don't think just abstaining from sex is the answer. Rather, I think you should take some time to look at how you personally process relational pain. If you have your ducks in a row there, you may be less likely to spiral. I just think you've introduced a new variable into your sobriety and have to learn how to address it. Also, don't lose the forest for the trees. You are in the trees of a binge, but 143 days is fantastic! That means you are capable of doing it. This thing is a process. You just learned a new thing about you. Take courage my friend! Hope this encourages you or helps some.