When is Porn/Masturbation a problem

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by SomeGuy1417, Jul 8, 2018.

  1. SomeGuy1417

    SomeGuy1417 New Fapstronaut

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    From what i have seen, this community is very much anti-porn, but i ask you to not just throw "porn is bad" and instead try to understand my viewpoint. Of course if you have arguments that outweigh mine, i would love to hear them, it's why im posting this.

    Im now 18 and have watched porn since probably 12 or 13. I have also been geeting into more and more kinky things, mostly due to conversations with friends that talk to me openly about their sex life (i mostly have female friends). While i do watch porn and masturbate daily, i never found it to be a problem. In fact, as it is part of my evening routine, it helped me establish some good habits before going to bed as i knew id always get a reward just before sleeping.

    Now the past few days i have been reading a lot about the bad effects on porn and the science is pretty clear on it. However in these forums i have read a lot that watching porn is always bad and never good. And that is the main thing i disagree with and i wanted to hear more oppinions on.

    Much like sugar or kokaine, the substance itself isnt the problem (sugar in raw fruit isnt a problem ad unrefined koka leaf isnt a problem). Its the refinement and/or excessive consumtion of it. The changes porn makes in the brain are undeniable, however i doubt that ones brain would just instantly become worse with one porn session. For example, i feel like watching porn maybe once a week would facilitate basically no change (as long as one would have enough self control to stay at once a week of course)

    After reading about NoFap, i have tried it for about a week, expecting my daily masturbation to be a problem. However, i have had no symptoms of anything. I dont feel better than before, i also dont feel worse. Whenever i get an urge to masturbate i just ignore it and move on with what im doing. As for the other factors (erectile difunction, low libido, anxiety, etc) i also have never experienced those. One exception would be depression, however i doubt that came from my porn watching as i got it only during the last stretch of finals, during which i barely had time to even think about porn or sex.

    I would like to hear some of your oppinions on this. Should i continue NoFap, despite not seeming to get any benefits from it? When would you say that porn is a problem? Is it simply the dose or do other life circumstances also count in making it a true addiction?
     
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  2. +TenPercent

    +TenPercent Fapstronaut

    Just my opinion here: Porn isn't bad, but it is dangerous. So is the internet. Combine porn with the internet and you have an extremely dangerous combination.

    Before all of this it was videos and magazines. Before that photographs. Before that paintings and drawing. I don't think it was a really big problem back then . . .

    I'm sure there are some people out there who can look at a moderate amount of porn without much ill effect (kind of like how some people can drink moderately for their entire lives, but others will die an early death from alcohol) but honestly I think those people are the exception rather than the norm. All around me I see people hooked on their electronic devices. Add porn into that mix and I imagine that most people will get hooked if they look at too much internet porn.

    If porn isn't a problem for you and quitting it doesn't seem to make much of a difference, then maybe you are one of the lucky few. Or, perhaps more likely, you haven't been doing it for long enough to develop an addiction. It's your call what you want to do. But if, down the road, you find that you need help, we'll be here.
     
  3. SomeGuy1417

    SomeGuy1417 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for that reply. While i do think it isnt a problem, the changes made in any brain due to porn are undeniable and i will probably benefit from at least toning it down a notch.
    Also i agree, the internet can be really dangerous. To be its youtube that is a big problem, but porn is likely more addicting to a lot of people
     
  4. Vandermeer

    Vandermeer Fapstronaut

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    That´s a good comparison. Refined sugar is generally not healthy for the human body, but except cariosis it was not a huge problem in the past, because most people worked hard physically, candy was luxury till the post World War II era, good food every day wasn´t the norm and hunger was a very present feeling to older european generations. Now obesity and diabetes are rising health problems all over the western and northern hemisphere.

    30 years ago, people had to order, rent or buy porn. That excluded nearly all the people automatically, who were underage or afraid of becoming associated with porn in any way. If you had not the balls asking a whore for service, you did not get it. Same with porn. Now we are in the virtual age. Nobody really knows yet how this will affect relationships, families and young adults in the longer run, but we can already tell, it has devastating effects on hard addicted people.

    There was a reason, that porn was considered only for adults. But the main problem is, it is now accessible most easy, anonymous and for free to everyone, who wants it. What would have been a " wow, free porn, that must be paradise!" scenario in a 70/80/90 teen comedy, turns out as a diabolical trap for all societies and the consumers. Because they literally fuck themselve and their sex life/relationships up by this habit.

    Imagine there would have never been a reglementation and ban of hard drugs and the following results. Of course, everyone is responsible for himself in the end, but all these addicted and wrecked people won´t just kill themselve or change back over night. They are often unable to have intact relationships and they will need health and social support. That is why totalitarian regimes like China declare it as a unsocial threat and start to overwatch their own citizens and make bad entries for the ones, who don´t keep themselve away from it. People don´t need a Big Brother state, who treats them like little children, but have to learn taking responsibility for themselve and recognizing the danger of self destructive behaviour. Everybody knows that heroin or crystal meth consumation has serious and dangerous effects on people in the longer run, so even younger people know at least about the potential risks of a drug addiction. That is not the case with porn yet. Because also the parents and teachers and politicians are involved themselve and use it regularly. Many, if not already most males with an internet connection watch it. I can only guess, how many people are sitting in the parliaments, while some NSA or other secret services spying out their porn habits and make them potential blackmailable targets.
     
    +TenPercent likes this.
  5. Unflinching

    Unflinching Fapstronaut

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  6. For me PMO was a very slow slide into a life of totally isolation. I was clinging onto the virtual life tighter and tighter until I became a “social loser”.

    Don’t know how to interact with real women and frankly quite scared of them.

    When I was 18 I was already deep into porn but was still totally unaware of where I was headed. If anyone had told me then where I’d end up I wouldn’t have believed them. I was still social and there didn’t seem to be a problem with how I used porn.

    I’m taking steps to better my life but there is so much I’ve missed out on in life due to my clinging onto porn. But as the saying goes: Better Late Than Never.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 9, 2018
    Adam76, Vandermeer and +TenPercent like this.
  7. Pmo was a downfall to hell.
     
  8. Adam76

    Adam76 Fapstronaut

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    Hey there, I don't think anyone can tell you what is right for you. The question I'd encourage you to ask yourself is for how long can you stop? A week's not bad, how about a month? 90 days? If you can't then you may have a problem. For me I know I need help and don't like what I become when I act out. Also ask yourself...whatt Do
    you want from life? Does PMO help you? Hurt? Noone can answer these questions for you. The rest of your questions I'M HOPING are just details that you're not going to find from an online form.
     
  9. ConMan

    ConMan Fapstronaut

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    For me it becanb a problem when I couldn't get a reliable erection with my gf lol. That's the only reason I'm quitting.
     

  10. I wouldn't say that porn is inherently bad. People can react to certain stimuli in a number of different ways....and from what you said, it sounds as though you probably don't have an issue, and your depression was triggered from a one-off event rather than being a recurring thing.

    Even if you had depression on a recurring basis, going no PMO for 30 days or whatever might not get to the root cause, and probably shouldn't be sought out as a cure for that.

    If you don't have any issues you can tie to PMO, then cool. Enjoy all the PMO....


    The rest of us, however?

    P, M, or O......or all of them......or a combination of them.....is adversely affecting our lives. Some more than others, which might explain why "porn is bad" seems to be a typical perspective around here.


    Me? I might actually watch porn after my 30 day challenge is up......but if I do, its because I feel as though I've successfully rebooted: I feel as though I don't have to watch it, but rather it's an occasional treat. I feel as though my interactions with - and perception of - women isn't tainted by actresses doing whatever for my amusement.

    If not, I'll go on a longer challenge, and see what happens.

    I went on a 4 day mini-challenge unintentionally, and it seemed to do something for me, so that's why I'm here.


    ^ That's a pretty long way of saying your mileage may vary, huh lol ^
     

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