Why can't I mean it

After 8 months of nofap, now I have relapsed 5 times. 3 were this past night and morning and they were all with porn. After each relapse, I would listen to a sermon about purity or attacking porn. But in my heart of hearts, did I really want to quit? Could I really say, "okay that was the last time, im done with this"? … No

The Bible says "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to life and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death". I don't currently have that Godly sorrow, even though I want to have it. Instead I had this fake temporary worldly sorrow like "uh oh, I did something bad. I'm gonna have to pay the consequences later"

I haven't felt that strong conviction and heart transformation to WANT to really quit.

I want to be able to say with absolute confidence: I will never watch it in my whole life again. @Road To Freedom Finally touched on this: My heart isn't in it!

After this last relapse, I feel like I destroyed some part of me. My brain is now fried and foggy and I have descended.. I can't continue like this

Idk how to cultivate that strong desire to never go back to pmo. It seems only hitting rock bottom can generate that desire. Please pray for me, and I will pray for you that you are struck with a burning desire to quit, a desire that will overcome any urge to relapse. Please Lord, help