Why I’m Serious This Time: An Essay By Robin

WHY I’M SERIOUS ABOUT IT THIS TIME

I’m doing the 30-day NF semen retention challenge, and am determined to not let anything stand in my way. Why am I so determined this time around in particular? Let me roll the chestnuts for you.

I am 100% done being nervous in ANY capacity while talking to women, and am done overthinking it. I want to be an actual PERSON, and a confident one at that. Either I seriously missed the boat on something, or my Asperger’s and social anxiety condition makes it hard and prevent me from getting out as much as I’d like (although at the same time I feel autism isn’t an excuse to not have a girlfriend). But the thing is, I’m ready to become an absolute machine, and also constantly read Coach Corey Wayne’s material on learning to interact with women better, not make it obvious that I’m trying to hit on them (aka be more mysterious), get phone numbers with ease, but above all else, EXERCISE my social skills.

I’ve said this before, but I do have quite a bit of experience with dating and intimacy, it’s just settling down and finding a relationship that’s difficult. I’ve almost had girlfriends (and a friend with benefits but that’s not even close to being the same thing, or fulfilling at all at the end of the day). But it is a huge void in my life right now. And the fact that I work 40 hours a week in a factory doesn’t help (always tired at the end of the week and just wanna lay around; but I also moonlight as an artist, and I’m trying to focus on that right now full force and be uber-confident in my skills instead of wasting time being neurotic about what I’m lacking in my life.

This is going to be a time I will utilize to put myself out there more. Practice my conversation skills, practice talking to people, and be on the outside looking in on what I can do to attract more women. I don’t know what it is about me that is giving me problems attracting women, whether it’s nervousness, shyness, lack of conversation starters, if there’s a move I need to make that I haven’t, or if I’m just boring to them, too eccentric, too needy, I have no idea. Segueing from a conversation into getting phone numbers is definitely an issue for me, but ready to work on that 100%. Or maybe it’s too much porn on the brain from all these years. Or it’s cause I live in a big city and there’s too much competition.


For AT LEAST 30 DAYS, it is now mind over matter, and I’m focusing more on professional life and hobbies, and hoping that attraction will come with time despite the fact that I’m a late bloomer, who is trying to keep the faith that the right person is just around the corner, and I’ll find them at the perfect time. They say social skills are like a muscle, and I’m ready to exercise THAT muscle more, and not certain other ones lol.

I can pretty much be Larry David at times (except I’m not a rich Hollywood celebrity lol), but I say things that rub people the wrong way pretty often. There’s a 9 out of 10 chance that someone was offended by something I’ve typed just now, but I don’t give a damn anymore. I’m ready to give this habit a break and become at least sub-par and going out and mingling with people by showcasing who I really am and being confident about it instead of feeling inadequate constantly and overthinking whether ill ever be in a relationship or not. PMO was making this 50x worse, and now I’m realizing that.