Why Suicide Isn't Selfish

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1. Depression is a disease, not a personality trait.
Even though science has proven it a million times over, our culture doesn’t yet fully recognize that MENTAL ILLNESS IS A BRAIN DISEASE, just like hepatitis is a liver disease.

2. Depression isn’t just sadness.
[Some] imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow and unendurable.

3. People who die from suicide don’t want to die.
A person doesn’t try to end her [or his] life “because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise.

4. There’s nothing selfish about suicide.
Some people say that “it’s selfish to leave children, spouses and other family members behind… What they don’t know is that those very loved ones are the reason many people hang on for just one more day.

5. People don’t “commit” suicide, they die from suicide.
This is a much less judgmental, more straightforward way to talk about someone who dies from mental illness. They are not ‘a suicide’ any more than someone who dies from cancer is ‘a cancer.

https://cupofjo.com/2018/06/suicide-isnt-selfish/
 
Absolutely agree. People saying suicide is selfish only isolate people further who are considering suicide, making them feel like they're selfish for even thinking it.

Anyone having suicidal thoughts should talk to someone about how they are feeling. There's nothing selfish in wanting an out, but others have felt this way and they come out of it in the end. You can too.
 
I don't understand why you've created this thread.
And I dislike it very much to say the least.

I know that what you're saying might be very factual and true and I agree, but it's not a good way of thinking.
I'm afraid that this might encourage people to give in and commit suicide instead of trying to evade from it and turn their life around.

You can compare this knowledge to knowing about the placebo effect - which once you know about it, doesn't work for you anymore - it doesn't help to know that.
You will get the same result if you question your existance in a very factual way. You will find out that you don't have a purpose - that you weren't created for some "reason" and that coincidence is only an illusion - nothing happens by random, it's just a bunch of factors we can't control or see.
Knowing all of this will make your look on life very brim and dark and you feel useless and such, but it doesn't help to know this.
And you don't have to think that way.
The best thing is to just keep it to yourself, because some knowledge shouldn't be shared.

You should not need to care that you don't have a purpose, instead you should give yourself a purpose and make yourself worthy and do the things you like to do.
Even if you have to do all of it in tiny steps with the help of other people.
 
Sarah W. said:
I've had to go through two of my family members kill themselves and to me it is selfish, regardless of what they're going through agony or not those people never talk to anybody for help or comfort. They'd rather take the route of dying than trying to find help because it'll end their misery.

They claim they're just a burden to their family and useless to society, yet that's just stuff they invented in their mind and repeated it over and over again through out the years making it true to only themselves. Never once did those two talk to me or anyone in my family about there being an issue or having difficulties, so nobody thought anything of it.

There's nothing fucking worse than seeing a note somewhere telling you they're off to kill themselves and for you not to worry and be at peace with it, because by the time you see the note they'll be gone! They may have had years to think about what they're going to do but the family and people around them are the victims that always bloody well find out after it's too late. They don't think about the people that love them or are in their lives and the concequences of doing that, but maybe they do and they just don't care because they'd rather end it than deal with life and the misery it can bring most folks.

I'll never know, but maybe if they talked to me like a human being in the first place I'd know what was going on in that head of theirs...
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I can somewhat relate to you and I understand why you don't understand why two members of your family would kill themselves without giving any hint or sign.
I too have lost a family member to suicide and he didn't even leave a note. Being left in the unknown was the most terrible thing for me.

But I've also been on the other side. For years I was considering suicide each day and sometimes I was only inches away.
The only thing that held me back was that I didn't want to hurt my friends - I didn't want them to suffer like I did.

You might not be able to understand, but you just can't talk to people about your issues.
When your depressed to the point were you have barely enough inner energy to keep yourself alife, the amount of courage you would need to talk to someone is out of reach.
For me it was also that all of my issues were my fault and not anyone else's and I didn't want to make them feel bad for me, just because I couldn't get my shit together.

Well.. it's not totally impossible.
At a point where I didn't want to suffer from depression any longer I decided to pull my last lifeline and opened up to a friend -- one who lived in a faraway country and who wouldn't affect my life.
For me, that was the best thing I could have done.
If I didn't do that I would not be here and I wouldn't have regained a little portion of hope.

That is why I try to help people on this forum who are or were in a similar situation like I was in.
Unfortunately I can't help everybody. I hate to see people writing about their depression but I have to ignore them, because I just don't have the time, capacity or hope to succeed to even try to help them.

I wish there were more than a handful of people on NoFap trying to help others.

Wave Surfer said:
It was created for those who blame the people who take their own lives.
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I know, but why here? Why do you have to post it where a lot of people are in danger of commiting suicide?
I understand and admire your intentions, but I ask you in advance, please remove this thread. It's more likely to harm than help.
People who didn't experience depression and thought of suicide just will not be able to understand.
Unfortunately.
 
Wave Surfer said:
Because people do it here.
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Well yes. They do. Because they feel like nobody cares about them leaving; because they get no reply to them sobbing their heart out and asking for help; because they find threads like these which make them feel like suicide is a valid option.
What do you want to achieve with this thread? The people who read this won't suddenly feel better and understand why their loved ones killed themselves. They will most likely question your statement for good reasong. Take the reply of @Sarah W. for example.
Do you want to encourage people to commit suicide? No. You want to make it easier for people who suffered from losing someone to suicide, but instead your risking to have even more people suffer.

I myself have found your arguments very convincing and most of them were on par with those I had when I was in danger of commiting suicide and when I read them I started considering it again -- luckily I'm currently at a point where I can shake off those thoughts, but other people might not.
So please, delete this thread or at least edit your introduction and turn it from discouraging to encouraging.
 
DoeDew said:
What do you want to achieve with this thread?
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You're not understanding what I'm saying. I'm saying some people here place all the blame on the person who commits suicide. There are some members on this forum who don't know what depression is. Like the quote I quoted at the beginning some members think being depressed is like going through a divorce, losing a job or breaking up with someone.
 
I'm sorry, my intention was not to make it sound like you couldn't understand at all. If your life was perfect you wouldn't have to be here.
But you made it sound so easy to escape from being suicidal -- which it's certainly not.
Sarah W. said:
I knew I would spread my grief onto others tenfold, not to mention I don't actually want to truly die and it's just my messed up brain talking.
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I have the same belief. But this is something everybody has to realize themselves. And some people just don't think this way at all.

Sarah W. said:
the government needs to figure out something that actually works to prevent suicide.
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There is nothing the government could do. The only way to prevent suicide is to tackle depression.
And depression is something that automatically comes with our society, because it opens up a lot of freedom but at the same time a lot of prohibition that evolution didn't account for.
 
As someone who’s been suicidal and has attempted suicide I will say my decision to do so, while not easy, was still extremely selfish. I’m not going to say my experience is the same for everyone since I know there are people who have mental illnesses that severely limit their ability to choose, but to say that’s the case for everyone would be false.

I feel like a majority of people these days want the ability to choose whatever they want but also to excuse their choice or not claim responsibility for it under the guise of mental illness.
 
Wave Surfer said:
I'm saying some people here place all the blame on the person who commits suicide. There are some members on this forum who don't know what depression is.
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This thread and what you are said^ is very important @Wave Surfer. I fully support your reason to link the editorial and summarise the main points. I can understand why other views have been expressed but I think they are wrong, sadly. :(
 
My belief is only God knows fully what someone is going through before they commit suicide, which is why we should be careful with how we judge people in this regard. However, I firmly believe that no one is without hope of breaking out of their circumstances. I’m not going to sit here and condone suicide.
 
There is no doubt that suicide has a stigma. This is evident in some of the comments made in this thread. Such a cultural consensus is difficult to stand aside from. For example, the expression, "commit suicide" is still commonly heard in the UK. Why? "Nowadays it would seem almost unthinkable to punish someone for attempting suicide, but until just half a century ago, it was a crime in England and Wales." https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-14374296 So, the phrase to "commit suicide" goes back to when attempting suicide was to commit a criminal offence (resulting in a fine or period in prison). :eek:

An inquest will often state that Mr Xxxxxx "killed himself while the balance of his mind was disturbed." For example, see: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-38910695 :( This disturbance is the catalyst that distinguishes between someone that might 'wish they were dead', and someone with deep, personal pain they find utterly overwhelming. Can you or I truly know another's pain? I do not believe so. If the level or intensity of that pain is an unknown factor, how can a judgement be made about the motives or cognition of the person that dies from suicide? I think it is not an area where we should be judgmental. It might feel better for someone to make a judgement like, 'they were selfish', but they cannot be sure that is true and, in most cases will do a disservice to the poor soul that has experienced a level of pain they could not cope with. To be selfish at the worst point in their lives requires a clear-thinking level of logic they are incapable of IMHO.
 
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Roady said:
They are to blame.
We don't own our lives. It's given to us.

I don't judge or blame anybody for having a enormously heavy burden. I know what it is myself. I doubt about suicide myself when I was at the deepest point of my depressive life, years ago.
I know that there is a way out. Always. Yes always. No burden is too heavy that it can't be released.

Suicide selfish or not?
I think: it's selfish. Sure it is. People became so selfish they can't step out into real life and talk to somebody.
If it wasn't a selfish act, they should be connected to others. In that case, suicide shouldn't be an issue.
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Maybe if you read this book you might change your mind.
 
Roady said:
I don't see how I "have to see suicide from another point of view".
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Isn't that close minded? If you're worried the book encourages depression then you should worrying because it doesn't. It looks at the science behind depression, the helpful (and unhelpful) dialogue around mental illness, the debate between seeing it as a choice and disease, the secret culture of suicide worship, the problem with finding a "cure".

Roady said:
Maybe you can give the book to somebody who is suffering from suicide thoughts.
What do you think? Is the book gonna save them from their plans to kill themselves?
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It might, it might not.
You could read it and decide for yourself.

The book covers a lot more ground but here's the video by the author:

 
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