Why we keep coming back for more porn ?

I've been fighting pretty strong urges these past few days. I want to look at porn because I know it would light up my brain like a fireworks show. After 90 days now it would feel better than any drug I've ever done.

I'm not looking at porn because I've decided the short term thrill isn't worth the long term suffering. Also I'm committed to my marriage and feel as though I shouldn't even really consider it.

I guess as some point it just comes down to living the life you want to live, not being a slave to neurotransmitters.

 

Depriving yourself of anything you want is always going to be hard.

 

Actually, yes, it is. There is a certain biological mechanism that creat an addiction. In case of sex (and porn, because our brain can't distinguish it) the most important thing is a release of dopamine in your brain. Let me get you through one experimen made by Wolfram Schultz in 1997. The point was to give to a monkey a grape juice when monkey presses the button after she has saw a light (like Pavlov's dog experiment).

1. When juice was given unexpectedly, without a signal, level of dopamine in monkey's brain was increased.
2. On a learning stage level of dopamines was still increasing after getting a portion of juice.
3. When a reflex was formed, level of dopamines increased after monkey saw a signal. Not after she got a juice, but after she saw a light.
4. If light wasn't followed by a portion of juice, level of dopamine would decrease.

That indicates that dopamine play crucial role in forming (point 3) and destroying (point 4) habits. In other ways, if our
expectations are right, our brain will reward us with dopamine. If they are not, our brain will say to us it's time to change our patterns.

So, when you see porn and masturbate, your brain thinks you pass your gens, which is good. After a while your brain will associate porn and evolutionary succes of "breading" and force you to do so. In NoFap here we try to use point 4 to break this habit. It's difficult, but worse doing.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. It is very interesting to find out how or brain works and habits develop. (Spoiler: nobody really knows).

 

IMO it's because of something else that's gone wrong in my life and I use it to escape and pleasure myself. Just the same as a drug. It could be depression, stress, boredom, loneliness. It's a temporary escape from unpleasant feelings to pleasant feelings, which are short-lived and then the bad feelings set in again, but worse.

In short, a typical addiction...

 

Unfortunately, free access to porn appeared very recently. We just havn't developed our resistance yet and probably never will, because people now are not aware what influence porn has on our lives. It is great that community like this exists. And it is great that we are members of this community. I hope that we will do at least something to help people with their porn addiction.

 

Right. Fix the bad things and the hankering to escape into Porn World will probably go away.

 

Watch the Gary Wilson YouTube video:

You're right on the money about that! Don't give up! You can watch the Gary Wilson vids again, & Noah Church has excellent ones too.

 

It's primarily the addiction. Watch the Gary Wilson YouTube video:
Your Brain on Porn: How Internet porn affects the brain


it's awesome; also, Noah Church has great ones too. Gary describes the mechanism of addiction in the brain. Fascinating information that'll help you understand what we're all up against.

 

It's part chemical imbalance, habit, psychological, and spiritual. I believe the core issue resides with wanting to love and be loved back, then the roots of that deal with self-worth, control, and entitlement.

 

I've been recovery for sex addiction heavily for 2 years; I recognize that I've been a sex addict since age 10. SAA (sex addicts anonymous) is the largest 12-step program of this type based on the steps & program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I've learned that porn addiction is an addictive behaviour that operates on the brain exactly like chemical addiction (alcohol is a drug).

 

Yes, and much more than a sexual problem, it's really an emotional problem.

 

And just plain ol' addiction.